Written by David Lane, directed by Pip Short

It seems as though Simon had a good night over at Granddad George’s place.  George lets Peter and Leanne know that Turner’s accepted the application, and it looks like the bar is going to happen.  Leanne and George are worried about Ken’s reactions, but Peter says the best thing to do about Ken is to ignore him.

At No.1 Deirdre asks Ken what he’s actually riled up about: George, the bar, or Peter?  Ken says it’s all about George and his money, and the consequences.  Deirdre doesn’t think that Ken picking fights is going to solve anything.  Deirdre says for a clever man he can be incredibly stupid sometimes.  Blanche reckons that he got a degree fifty years ago, and sits around sucking his pen while he half-does the Guardian crossword, there’s nowt clever about that.  Deirdre reminds Ken that Peter knows how he feels about the bar, and he doesn’t have to keep saying it.  Ken agrees to back off.

Peter figures that the council should be happy about them opening up the bar, since before it was a derelect building, and now it’ll be a good business.  Ken comes by and tries to extend an olive branch, but that’s short-lived as he now goes for the angle of opening a bar just being bad business in the current economic situation.  Peter basically tells Ken where to shove it.  George tells Ken that he’s investing because, unlike him, he has every bit of faith in Peter and Leanne.  Deirdre comes by and tells Ken that arguing in the street isn’t going to solve anything and takes him away.

Ken reminds Deirdre that she knows everyone at the planning office.  He wants to do anything to put a stop to this bar from opening.  Deirdre tells him there’s no chance she’s going to talk to anyone at the planning office.  Ken thinks it’s worth the risk, if they can save Peter.  Deirdre is more interested in getting a new job at the planning office.

Leanne, Peter and George worry about the fact that Deirdre has connections, but George doesn’t think it’ll be an issue.  George already has an architect in and Leanne is excited about it.

Deirdre gets a call from the planning committee, and she thinks it’s over her job application, only to find out that it’s not.  Uh oh, what has Ken been up to now?  Ken’s been to the council offices and they got back to Deirdre.  Deirdre’s not happy about getting a job back.  Ken is about five years old.  Deirdre lets him know that he’s shot himself in the foot, since he’s been cutting corners.  Deirdre says she hopes it does go ahead, and she’ll celebrate with them, because she’s sick of him thinking he’s right and everyone else is wrong and stupid.

Ken catches up with Janice and asks her if she knows about the bar.  Ken figures Janice might talk some sense into Leanne.  Janice tells it like it is: they’re grown-ups, and they can make up their own minds.  Janice doesn’t think she can help him, and doens’t know if she would, if she could.

Leanne and Peter are with the architects, and George reminds them that it’s time to pick up Simon from school, so he offers to get Simon and take him for tea.  This George has some ulterior motives.

Janice goes into the bookies to let Leanne and Peter know about Ken.  Janice tells them she’s sure they know what they’re doing, but she wants to make sure.  Janice warns them of the pressures of starting a business, plus the family rows.  Leanne puts Janice in her spot, and lets her know that it’s HER bar, and Peter won’t even be a part of it for the most.

George takes Simon to the shopping centre and they walk by Santa Ken’s setup, where Ken sees them, and makes eye contact with an unknowing Simon.  Simon asks George to go see Santa.  Granddad says they’ll have tea first, then they’ll see about seeing Santa.  Simon asks George if Father Christmas was young when he was a boy.  Haha, George has to explain the magic behind Christmas.  Simon’s up next, and Ken is shocked to see him and George stood right there.  Simon tells “Santa” what he’d like, and Santa tells him that Christmas isn’t about fancy gifts.  Wow, I cannot believe these two granddads have Simon in the middle like this.  The granddads continue to argue and Ken loses his beard causing Simon to freak out about why Granddad is pretending to be Father Christmas.  Ken asked George why the hell he had to bring Simon there, since he knew that’s where he was.  George says he didn’t, and Simon didn’t even know until Ken went off on one.  There goes Ken’s holiday job.

Kevin comes into Dev’s to see Molly and if she’s okay with what they agreed.  Molly says they hardly agreed to anything.  Tyrone pops in and asks Molly if they could invite Jack and Connie over for Christmas.  Molly says she’s got nothing else planned.  Tyrone also extends the offer to Kevin.

Tyrone sees Connie and Molly talking, and they’ve agreed to come for Christmas.  Tyrone tells Connie to give them some time in the morning on Christmas though, so Molly and he can unwrap their presents.  *wink* *wink*  Molly coos over Tyrone as Connie reminisces that it must be nice to be young, and Kevin glares on jealously.

Tyrone asks Sophie about her baptism thing, and Sophie offers that he can come along, but Tyrone politely declines.  Sophie’s wearing quite the Rosie-esque skirt and knee socks.  Sophie’s upset that even Tyrone’s more interested in her baptism than her father is.

Molly goes for a run and Kevin meets up with her telling her he’s made a great mess of things.  Molly figures that Keving not wanting to mess up Sophie’s exams was just an excuse.  Kevin wants them to have a better start than his kids disowning him.  Well, that’s hardly going to happen is it?  Kevin tells her he’s already started saving, what he can, for their new life.  Whatever!

Dev sees Sophie and Ben and says they’re a “shining example to teenagers, like, everywhere.”  He says that he hopes their parents are very proud.  Sophie says hers don’t seem that bothered.  Molly tells her that her dad is worried about her exams.  Dev notices that Molly always has a sweet smile on her face and figures he should ask Tyrone for tips.  Haha.

Rosie asks Sophie what she’s going to be wearing to her baptism, and is concerned that her makeup will get wet and her hair will be all over the place as Kev rolls his eyes in the back.  Sally figures they should get Sophie something new to change into afterwards and Kevin figures it can be a Christmas present.  Kevin’s being really tight, but still has money for booze.

Dev sets up a romantic evening for Bernie at his home with a couple chilled beers and all.

It’s morning at the Rovers, and Becky’s not feeling well.  Steve asks what her and Claire were rowing over.  Becky says pantomimes, mostly.  Steve figures grown-ups can’t argue over pantomimes.  Betty figures they can, since they’ve always had Christmas pantomimes in the Rovers and she’s seen grown men almost come to blows.  Steve talks about how there’s old photos of pantomimes done back in the day in a box somewhere.

Claire’s in just the same state at home the next day.  I wonder what Ashley prefers: a psychotic bitchy wife, or a spacey drunk wife?  Clearly the latter, as Ashley asks if she’d like to go for a hair-of-the-dog later.  Claire says they won’t go into that pub again after what Becky said about them.  Claire realizes that her fight with Becky was probably stupid and she should apologize.

Betty is going through the old Rovers pantomime photos with Becky.  They come across a few pics of Annie Walker, and remark her sour face.  Betty pulls out a photo of Bet Lynch, and tells Becky that she reminds her of her a whole lot.  It’s the hair.  Betty tells Becky about how Bet started out as a barmaid and married the landlord.

Claire comes into the pub and Becky tells her if she’s going to start something, she can leave.  Claire says they both said things they should apologize for.  Ashley buys Becky a drink to smooth things over.  Becky tells Claire that they used to do pantos in the Rovers.  Well, it’s obvious – Becky and Claire are going to be putting on a panto themselves.  Betty tells them that she’ll be the one sorting out auditions and what not.  Graeme feels it’s time to mention his acting career – he once played Juliet.

Becky asks Deirdre if she’s still got those glasses from her old panto days.  Oh, old sexy-specs.  Becky and Claire tell Liz that they want to do a Christmas panto in the Rovers.  Liz figures she must be barmy, but she says yes.  Graeme wonders which panto they’re doing, but they haven’t decided yet.  John brings up the point that they need a script, and he has one from Uni.  The pub makes fun of him for writing a panto in Uni.  They accept John’s script.  Liz notes that at least this panto will be different from the others – they usually end in disaster, and this one’s starting in one.

Gary’s back from training, and Graeme calls him the “ginger ninja” and asks who should be more scared, the taliban or the rest of the British army.  Haha.  I’m disappointed he didn’t return in uniform.  What are they waiting for?    Anna makes Gary a fry-up at the Cafe.  Anna’s not interested in his stories, and says he won’t be laughing when he gets to Afghanistan.  Gary says he’s for sure joining the army, since one of the instructors told him he was right for the army.  Anna tries to look for help from Eddie, but gets nothing.  Gary reminds Anna that there’s nowt for him around there, and he can make something of himself in the army.  Liz couldn’t help overhearing, and tells Gary that Steve’s dad were in the army, and loved every minute of it, and she was so proud of him.  Liz says if Steve put his heart into it, there’s not much she could do.

Eddie’s up to some more tricks again, and is throwing his trash in the neighbors bin so that he won’t have to give the bin man a tip.  Eddie tries to convince a worried Anna that Gary will come back a hero.  Gary overhears from the inside.  This is quite a touching scene, I almost feel as though I’d watching a different show.  Eddie figures that he’d like to have someone like Gary by his side whether he’s fighting the Taliban or rowing with Gail Platt.  Wow, becuase the two are syno

Written by Mark Burt, directed by Alan Wareing.

Chesney tells John that he’s glad all the Rosie stuff is over with.  Is John finally making head-way with Ches?  Kevin drags Rosie over to the Stape’s to apologize.  Fiz doesn’t want to hear it, but John is enjoying every minute of it.  Rosie says there’s nothing she can say to justify what she did, so why even try.  Rosie says she’ll go to the police and take back everything she said.  Fiz feels like Rosie’s acting as though she’s doing them a favor or something.  That’s just what I think.  Sally apologizes for vandalizing their house, because it was petty and cruel.  Wow, there’s some serious self-awareness.  John says, no promises, but he’ll talk to the police about Rosie’s misdeamor.  Kevin figures they’ll just stay out of each other’s way.

Rosie comes back from the police station after getting a slap on the wrist.  She gets a berating from Janice however that says its stupid cows like her that make it hard for women who really get abused and raped to get any justice.  Bring that point home Janice!

Fiz tells John later that they’ve had some major breakthroughs: Ches, the Websters.  John figures he’s being begrudgingly tolerated, not much of a breakthrough.  Oh please, most people in the world are begrudgingly tolerated.  Fiz figures that folk are starting to see the real him: a strong, kind, honest man.  John is still upset that Fiz doubted him.  She says she knew in her heart he was innocent, but after what happened with Tony, it got into her head.

Norris tells Becky that he thinks Rosie should be locked up, and the key thrown away for her fabrication issues.  Molly overhears them and asks what happened with Rosie last night.  Becky tells her what went down.  Freda (almost forgot about her) comes in and asks Norris about how to do competitions, but Norris says he’s retired and can’t help her.

Later, in the pub, Freda’s got Becky helping her answer some questions for a competition and they’re doing a terrible job at it.  Norris overhears, and breaks down and gives them an answer.

Becky asks Steve if Dev was upset about him calling off their bet.  Steve lies that he supposes he was.  Becky figures that Steve doesn’t need a golf membership since he’s got her.  Steve throws on his best guilty smile.

Becky goes into the cab office looking for Steve, but Eileen tells her he’s booked himself off this afternoon, but says he didn’t say where he was going.  She also added that his golf attire and clubs gave it away at bit though.  Becky says he’s dead, and asks for Eileen to get her a cab.

The golf game is on, and Bernie is there to observe.  There’s so much pomp and circumstance going on I can hardly watch.  Steve gets ready for a drive, when Becky shows up and starts coughing.  Becky tells him to lose the game and embarrass himself.  Becky distracts him at every turn, causing him drive his ball into the canopy of nearby trees.  I’m so bored with this golf sub-plot.

The game must go on, and Steve’s still bagging it.  Dev wins the game, and does a little victory dance.  Okay, big overdone victory dance.

Ken won’t let Deirdre in on what his job is.  Ken says he’s going to the library to write an article for the gazette.  Deirdre asks what it’s regarding, and he gives her a hint, that they want him to capture the Christmas season.  Deirdre thinks this is a lark.

Later, Deirdre goes into the bookies to ask Peter to help her out in the attic since Ken’s not around.  Peter thinks he’s getting some kind of procedure done. It’s clear that Ken has fibbed to both of them.  Peter thinks there’s a good explanation for it, but Deirdre looks worried again.  I wonder if she thinks Ken has been taking some canal visits again.

George has Leanne, Peter and Simon over to tea, but Peter thinks he’s rushing things a bit much.  Sure seems like it to me.  Leanne insists they go, and when they arrive at a gated home, they look rather stunned to discover as much.  Simon asks if Granddad is a millionaire.  Peter thinks there must be some sort of mistake.  It’s pretty much a mansion, or a palace as Simon would say.  Looks more like a mini-mansion to me, but whatever.

Inside, the place is gorgeous, and Leanne says as much.  Eva lets them know that George designed it on a six month sabbatical.  Wow, that’s not what I did on my sabbatical, but we won’t get into that.  Eva inquires on their plans for Christmas, and Peter tells them they’re not doing anything over the top, so Eva invites them by there if they’re at a loose end.  Eva even offers to have them stay over, since there’s ample space.  Simon’s very excited about the idea, but Peter tells him maybe next year, the offer’s a bit too soon.  Later, George and Eva sit down with Peter and Leanne and tell them that they’d like to invest in their bar idea.  Peter says thanks, but no thanks they’ll find the money themselves.  George asks him to at least sleep on it, but Peter says that ‘no’ is his final answer.  Leanne is shocked and doesn’t know what to say.

Later, Leanne chews into Peter about why he didn’t take the loan.  Peter says he’s being a responsible father, and Leanne is only thinking of herself.  Leanne says she deserves more than ‘this’ and so does Simon and leaves.

Ken comes home to an unhappy Deirdre.  Deirdre confronts him about his whereabouts, and demands an explanation.  Ken tells her it’s complicated, and then dons a Santa hat to Deirdre’s shocked confusion.  Deirdre is still shocked that Ken Barlow is Father Christmas and finds it hard to believe.  He tells her that he foolishly promised Simon an expensive gift, and that job is all he could secure.  Ken begs for her to keep it secret.

Eddie brings his ladder to Eileen’s, and Eileen is stood outside asking him how it looks.  Eddie says it’s touch-and-go, but Dr. Eddie can save it.  Eileen asks him if he can’t do the back also, and she’ll give him 15 for the lot.  Eddie agrees as Eileen “thumbs up” Jesse and Jason hiding in a van nearby.  Eileen comes out of the house to tell Jesse and Jason that Eddie is up the back.  Jesse and Jason get the ladder out of the van to prop it against Eddie’s place.  What could they be doing?

Later, Eddie’s done his job on Eileen’s gutter, and Jesse, Eileen and Jason tell him that they’re onto his scam.  Eddie looks over at his roof, and notices his Santa is gone from the top.

December 4, 2009

Written by Chris Fewtrell, directed by Alan Wareing

Simon gloats about how grandiose George’s house is, and then tells Ken that his dad had a row with George and then Leanne.  Simon tells Ken how Granddad George offered Peter money to buy a shop or something, but Peter didn’t take it.  Plus, Simon complains that they can’t go to George’s for Christmas anymore either.  Ken seems delighted at this news.

Ken mentioned Simon’s words to Peter regarding George.  Ken says he’s so relieved that Peter can see George for who he is – someone with money who thinks that’s what opens doors.  Peter says that it’s not like that, he likes George just not enough to go into business with him.  Ken thought it was presumptuous of George to even invite them over for Christmas, but Peter figures he only wanted to see his grandson.  Peter doesn’t look happy with Ken’s badmouthing of George.  Peter tells Ken that George was giving him a genuine offer and wasn’t looking to score cheap popularity points.

George comes into the bookies, and apologizes for being too forward in their lives.  Peter also apologizes, saying he’s just not used to someone who’s trying to help him.

Later, Leanne comes back and Peter tells her to keep her coat on, they’re going out and there’s more on the menu than a buttie.  Leanne and Peter meet with George, and Peter surprises Leanne by taking George up on his offer to invest in the bar.  Leanne is elated and jumps into Peter’s arms telling him he won’t regret it.  Ken comes by and has to stir the pot.  He tells Peter that he thought for once he was excising good judgement, but clearly was wrong.  Peter doesn’t like how Ken is talking to George, so Ken asks if he should bow and scrape just because George has money.  Ken blames George for pushing Peter with money for that club.  Peter tells Ken to go home.

Peter knows that Ken is willing to dress up as Santa Clause just to get a good present for Simon.  Peter tells Ken to swallow his pride and let George help him.  Ken believes that if George really wanted to help him, that he wouldn’t do this.  George is only trying to buy his way to Simon.  Peter believes that George has faith in him, far more than Ken ever had.  Ken tells Peter that he’s going to fight this project and he will NOT open that bar.  Wowzers, that’s conviction.

Ashley catches Claire talking to herself enunciating each word into a hand mirror and asks her what on earth she’s doing.  Claire says she’s getting ready for her classsss.  Claire says she was preparing for her drama class by warming up her facial expressions.  I’m sure he thinks she’s gone nutters again.

Steve comes into Dev’s and Dev tells him where he can find the sour grapes.  Steve tells him that the hardest part about winning is doing so with a little grace.  Dev goes into a rendition of “save all your kisses for me” as he brags on and on about his golf membership perks to Steve.  Steve tells Dev that yesterday was a fluke and lightening shall not strike twice.  Steve thinks that they should re-match this afternoon.

Looks like Claire and Becky had the bestest of times in the acting classes.  He notices some battle wounds on their faces.  Since, they were playing the wife, and the mistress they got a little bit into it in class.  Steve tries to disappear, but Becky catches him going golfing.  Steve argues that golfing is his hobby and everyone needs one.  Becky and Claire inform him that their amateur dramatics has been closed due to lack of members.

Dev and Steve show up at the golf course, and Bernie is there with another customer, Matthew, and seemed surprised to see Dev.  Dev gives Matthew a tip to always keep his eye on the ball, because Bernie is spoken for.  Apparently, so is Matt, he’s just gotten engaged.  Dev nauseatingly air kisses her goodbye.

Claire and Becky start pondering over who’d they cast as characters in a Cinderella panto and they figure that Hayley could be Fairy Godmother.  Claire jokes that she could see Lloyd and Steve as the ugly sisters.  Claire and Becky start to argue over who would be Prince Charming – Steve or Ashley.  My vote’s for Graeme!  Anyone else?  They then argue who would be Cinderella.   Ashley has to come in to seperate them, and carry Claire off.

Sophie’s searching around for her baptism forms.  Kevin forgot about her baptism, and Sophie says she feels like background noise in that house.  Poor little neglecterino.  Sophie’s not happy with Kevin for being cast aside.  I wonder if he even feels guilty for preferring the company of one young woman over another.

Kevin goes to see Molly to tell her basically that he’s getting cold feet about them coming out with their relationship.  He says it’ll happen, but it’ll just take a lot longer than he thought.  Molly goes and sees Kevin later in tears upset about him having put everything off for them.  Kevin tells her that when he does this, he wants it to have the least effect on his kids possible.  Well, that’s not really possible.  Kevin says he can’t run the risk of ruining Sophie’s life.  Kevin says he’ll leave Sally as soon as Sophie’s finished her exams which are July next year.  Kevin tells a sobbing Molly that he’s sorry.  Maybe he should have thought of that before he started this affair.

Eddie complains that Father Christmas is his property, and Eileen suggests he could call the police.  Eddie argues that Father Christmas is for the community.  Jesse argues that he’s ripped off the community.  Eileen tells him that until he gives everyone their money back, they’re keeping Father Christmas.  Eddie agrees to give folk their money back after Jesse threatens to send a piece of Father Christmas at a time through the post.

Gary’s getting ready for training week in the army.

Tuesday December 1, 2009

Written by John Kerr, directed by Alan Wareing

Que to Rosie yelling and screaming in the streets, and no one’s listening.  John comes out and tells her to stop it now.  Rosie tells him to get his checque book out.  John tells her that if she think she’s getting any more from him, she’s even more pathetic than she looks.  That warranted five across the eyes from Rosie.  Bill runs over and asks Rosie what’s going on.  Rosie faux-sobs and tells Bill that John tried to grab her. Bill, of course believes She-Who-Cried-Wolf, tells John to stay away and takes Rosie home.  Wow, I can’t believe that little twat went through with it.

It would appear that Sophie is going to get baptised soon.  Sally tells Rosie this news when she walks in with Bill, only Rosie has news to usurp anything holy.  Bill tells Sally that John Stape just tried to attack Rosie.

Roy finds John still at the cafe in the dark.  He tells Roy he’s trying to work out why his life keeps falling apart.  He tells about Rosie’s little scheme.  Roy suggests that John go explain what happened to Fiz.  He asks Roy what if Fiz doesn’t believe him.  Roy tells him that he does.  Well, that’s all that matters then.

Yuck, more Molvin action.  I’m so sick of seeing these pigs in a blanket.  Kevin pretends to fall asleep as Molly talks about her childhood.  Wow, they’re like a married couple already.  They do say that practice makes perfect.  Sally calls, so Kev picks it up

At the Vicars and Liz party, Julie tells everyone that the party was bad news and how she knew it’d hurt Liz’s feelings.  Kelly says she still doesn’t get the joke – she doesn’t think Liz dresses like a tart.  Haha.  Graeme thinks that wearing a skirt is dead liberating, something to do with air-flow.  Liz comes back out with a stiff-upper-lip and tells Theresa she can stay since Liz can take a joke.  Deirdre wonders what Liz is up to, but Liz says she can’t spoil the surprise.  Oh goodness, that’s what Julie’s thinking as she’s in the ladies look and sees Graeme come out of the stall boasting about how spacious and paperful the washrooms are.  He then asks to borrow her lippy.  Oh my, he is such a completely deranged character I absolutely love him!

John goes into the Rovers, to find Fiz and tells her he needs to talk to her in private.  Fiz yells at John outside the Rovers that she told him not to trust Rosie.  John tells Fiz that Rosie’s lying and she wants to go over there and sort it, but John talks her out of it.   Later, Fiz and John try to eat something, and there are tensions.  Fiz figures that maybe Rosie will do the right thing for once, unbelievingly.

Back at the Websters, Sally tells Rosie that as soon as Kevin arrives, they’re going to ring the police.  Rosie looks shocked and worried.  Is guilt catching up to her finally?  Kev finds out and gets mad, and figures he should be been there.  Only, you weren’t, were you?  He asks Rosie what happened, and Rosie said she was alone with John in the cafe.  Sophie reminds her that she shouldn’t have been alone with him since she knows he’s crazy.  Rosie says that one minute he was talking to Rosie, the next he locked the door and started grabbing for her, but she ran for the door, got out and went into the streets.  Bill picks up Rosie’s story that that’s where he found her.  Sally decides to ring the police now.  Rosie says she doesn’t want to go through this again, but Kev says she’ll have to.  The police arrive and knock on John’s door, it’s time.  Fiz moans for the police not to take him away.  Fiz tells John she’ll come to the station as soon as she can – promise.

Sneaky, sneaky Liz uses a key to get into Lloyd’s flat.  Whatever is she going to do?  Liz returns to the pub, and Lloyd tells Theresa to play nice.  Liz gives Lloyd his flat keys back and tells him he might want to see what’s cooking in his oven.  Liz also tells Theresa that she’s still barred and she can leave now.  Lloyd runs over to his place to find that Liz had roasted his vinyls.  He’s clearly disappointed by this, and didn’t feel better when Theresa suggested he could use one as a ashtray.  Lloyd then sees a note Liz has left and sees that she’s kidnapped the rest.  Lloyd forces Theresa to go apologize to Liz or Liz tells him he can kiss his precious record collection goodbye.  Liz starts chucking them out of the window from the Rovers.  Lloyd asks Liz to come downstairs so they can sort it out.  Lloyd tells Theresa that she must say sorry.  Theresa wants to know if he wants his records back, or Liz.  Lloyd tells Theresa that he’ll do anything, even go down on his knees if she wants.  She tells him to go on then, and he gets down, holds his arms up and says “so what do you say?”  Immediately everyone from the pub walks out, and sees this, and Theresa exclaims “of course I’ll marry you!”  Haha.  Liz is shocked, but exclaims that she doesn’t care and walks off.  Lloyd tells Theresa he can’t believe she did that.

Becky and Claire take off for their night out.  Coming back, Becky is dragging a bladdered Claire along.  Becky tells Claire she can’t just go mouthing off to people, but Claire claims someone was in the wrong.  Claire figures the bouncer was feeling her up, when she was really searching her, what they do to everybody.  Claire wants to get another drink but Becky figures she’s had enough.  Claire tells her that she’s got two small children, and one small husband and if Becky thinks that Claire’s wasting a night out she can forget about it.  She goes to look for her watch and realizes it’s missing, but Becky reminds her that she wasn’t wearing one.  Becky tells her they’ll go for another drink and Claire tells Becky she loves her, goes to hug her, but falls flat on the sidewalk on her back in a gaggle of drunken giggles.  Becky tries to help Claire up, but Claire pulls her down ontop of her, and they both start laughing like a pair of inebriated schoolgirls.

Dev and Bernie come into the pub and Steve says he’s off the ale.  Dev figures he’s getting in shape for their golf match.  Dev manages to over hear Bernie talking to Steve about him taking golf lessons on the sly.  Bus-ted.  Dev asks Bernie what her and Steve were talking about.  Bernie breaks down and tells Dev that she’s been giving Steve lessons.

Eddie shows up at Emily’s to collect money for some work he’s been doing for her.  Norris, unsurprisingly, does not look happy about this.  Eddie tells Norris that if he wants abuse, he can get it at home.

Later, Norris sees Eddie and apologizes for being judgemental earlier.  Eddie says that his missus (he believe is Emily) warned him of it earlier, so no harm done.  Norris confronts Emily about warning Eddie against him, and Emily says she felt it was her Christian duty to do so.  Norris scoffs that that’s the last chicken kiev she’ll be getting off him.  Emily praises the Lord behind Norris’s back, but he lets her know that he heard.

Deirdre notices Ken sulking about the job centre, and reminds him that they don’t really need the money.  Ken says he wants to make a bit of an effort for Simon.  Blanche rings to tell Deirdre to get her a taxi since she won’t go in the One O’Clock Club van, since she’s convinced that the driver’s on drugs.

Wednesday December 2, 2009

Written by Martin Allen, directed by Alan Wareing

Sally thinks that Rosie getting molested by John Stape was the best thing that could have happened, because now they can get him behind bars again, where he belongs.  So long as Rosie isn’t traumatized.  Yeah, who cares.  Kevin reminds these two that there were no witnesses, so who knows what will happen. Kevin figures it could go to court, and asks if Rosie’s ready to go through with that.  Rosie, once again, has that guilty look on her face, but agrees that if that’s what it takes to send him down again, then sure.

John is already in the police station being questioned.  I wonder if the chair was still warm from Tony.  The detective tells John that he wonders why Rosie would make this up just to get money, since she wasn’t going to get that by charging him with assault.  John tells them that she’s vindictive and thick.  John sticks to his guns and tells them everything that she told him was lies.  The detective then tells him that his wife hasn’t rung in to ask how he was last night or this morning, and wonders why that is.  John says he had no idea.

John gets let go and arrives back on the street with no one there to greet him.  John isn’t happy that Fiz hadn’t call to see how he was at all.  John assumes she didn’t ring because she thinks he’s guilty – like everyone else around there.  Fiz asks if he’s had any lunch, avoiding the situation.  Fiz says she believes him, but John says he’s not sure.  John says they’ll fight this by going for a drink in the Rovers tonight for a start.

Rosie and mum are in the Rovers, and Norris asks how she is.  Norris offers to get her a drink, and Sally assures her that everyone is behind her.  John walks into the Rovers like it’s nobody’s business only for Sally to sherk “I don’t believe this.”  John ignores them and orders their drinks.  Roy and Hayley stand by their sides, but the rest of the Rovers is divided.  Steve suggest they finish their drinks and go home, but John says he’s done nothing wrong.  John confronts Rosie and tells her to tell them the truth.  Rosie tells him not to talk to her.  John says that he refused to give her money, so she falsly accused him.  Rosie starts to tear and tells her mom she doesn’t want to deal with this.  John tells Rosie to explain how he locked her in the cafe.  John asks her to describe what kind of lock it was, but she says she doesn’t know how to describe it.  Rosie looks to her father for support, but Kevin looks speculative.  Everyone’s waiting for Rosie’s answer.  Rosie says it was a lock with a key, and that John dropped the key.  John tells her that you don’t use a key to lock the cafe from the inside, it’s only a latch that anyone can lock.  Roy confirms this data.  John claims then the door was never locked, and he never laid a finger on her.  Rosie said that he would have though, eventually.  Sally is shocked that Rosie had made all this up, her and everyone else.  Fiz lunges for Rosie calling her an evil little cow.  Steve tells John that his pints are on the house.

Claire walks by with some hangover juice, and Michelle asks why she bothers keeping up with Becky if she can’t do it.  Claire reckons she’ll be straight with Becky about it.  Becky comes by saying how great last night was, and that they should do it again.  Claire suggests that they try the amateur dramatics she talked about instead, to which Becky hesitantly agrees to.  Becky asks where Steve is, and Michelle tells her that he’s out to meet some woman named Bernie.  Becky’s confused, but Michelle says she took the call and Bernie was definintely a woman.

Becky confronts Steve about being out with Bernie, the golfing tart.  Steve tells Becky he didn’t want her to know how much it costs.  Steve says that golf membership fees cost upwards of two grand.  Lloyd comments “and then some.”  Becky’s accuses Steve of not even buying her a flaming jacuzzi, then her and Lloyd shake their heads no in unison.

Steve tells Dev that even if he wins the match, he won’t use the membership that much.  He says that he’s too busy to use it, so that Dev should have it.  Dev figures that Steve is pulling out to save face.  Steve gets riled up now, and keeps their game on.

Theresa comes into the bar again, I guess completely ignoring the fact that she’s barred.  Theresa promises no more stunts, and pulls a book of engagement rings out of her purse.  Michelle looks at them in mild shock.  Michelle asks her if she’s serious, with a laugh.  Lloyd notices the book and reminds Theresa that they’re not engaged.  Lloyd notices that the rings cost five grand, and Theresa says she can’t stand a man who’s tight and it’s off.  It’s clear that Theresa was playing a joke on Lloyd.

It looks like Ken has gotten himself as job.  Doing what, I wonder?  Peter asks Ken if he can take Simon to school the next morning, but Ken says he has an optometrist’s appointment.  Or a shift at his new job.

George and wife are over at Peter’s after their visit.  Bill calls and Peter says that the Turner’s Joinery project won’t be happening.  George overhears this and asks what won’t be happening.  Peter tells them that he and Leanne were going to open a bar.  George even thinks that that would be risky because of his alcoholism.  Peter says it won’t happen anyway, since they don’t have the money.

At dinner, George invites Simon over to their place, but Peter is skeptical, and says “one day.”  Simon tells George and Eve about the fire that nearly killed him caused by his father’s drinking, and George and Eva look surprised.  George says that his son nearly died from his alcoholism, and now he wants to open a bar?  Peter tells them that there is no way he’d ever let himself go back to living like that.  Peter reminds George that they’re both doing the best they can.

When they leave, Leanne asks Peter how he’s doing.  Peter says his ears are ringing from all the skeletons in the closet.  Peter says he’s glad that she was there and on his side, and one day he’ll get her her bar.

Norris asks at the Kabin if there’s any world on the Weatherfield Ripper (John).  Ken believes that’s a bit harsh.  Norris believes that a Leopard never loses his spots.  Norris says that Eddie Windass might be turning over a new leaf, and is surprised at it.  He says that Eddie did a good job at clearing out their gutters.  Chesney walks in and overhears this.  Could Eddie Windass be putting grass in people’s gutters?  He’s clearly moving a grass chunk from house to house down the row.

Sure enough, Eileen answers her door to Eddie Windass telling her she’s got grass in her gutter.  Eileen is wise to Eddie’s disguise however.  Eileen tells him she’ll think about it.  Jason comes in, and Eileen asks him if he’s got a ladder, and if he can do her a favour.  Uh oh!  Don’t mess with Eileen!  Jason’s up the ladder to the gutter and finds a grass sod, which was obviously put there.  Eileen figured out his grand scheme.  Eileen tells Jason to leave the sod where it is – she’s got a plan.

I’m so gutted by the news of Maggie Jones passing I can hardly write about it.

For more information, please read Flaming Nora’s post here at Coronation Street Blog.

Thanks,

Yoork

Written by Julie Jones, directed by Alan Wareing

Rosie complains about her mother’s cheap-o coffee.  Kevin tells Rosie, again, to sell her car.  Rosie says she LURVES her car and Sally backs her up that it is fabulous.  The two of them are like peas in a pod.  Can she even drive it yet???  Kevin tells Rosie that she’s 18 and she should be paying her way.  Kevin looks like he can’t stomach his family anymore.

Cut to Molly looking bored, and Tyrone comes in to tell her that she didn’t say they were out of cornflakes and he had to eat a scabby piece of toast for breakfast instead.  Tyrone wonders why Molly’s being so nice to him, and figures she might be borderline feminist.

Kevin and Molly agree to meet later, to further talk about outing their affair.  Kevin and Molly meet at their usual seedy motel room.  Kevin tells her not to feel bad about Tyrone, since once they’re out in the open, that’ll all be over with.  Molly’s skeptical, but Kevin keeps insisting that he means it.

Ken sees Simon and Peter in the street and asks Simon what he wants for Christmas.  It’s clear, from Granddad George’s overindulgence that Simon now has expensive tastes.  Ken is feeling a bit shameful for not being able to keep up methinks.

Eddie Windass points out to Deirdre that he saw a clog in her gutter from across the way when he was putting up his Christmas lights.  He offers 10 pounds to take it down with his ladder.  Deirdre decides to just leave it, but figures she’ll never get Ken up there, so ends up taking Eddie up on his offer.

Ken is looking through the classifieds for a job.  Probably to pay for whatever luxurious gift that Simon as requested.  Ken ponders a call centre, and Deirdre says she thought you had to live in India to work in a call centre.  Zing!  Deirdre figures they’ll be fine for money at Christmas, unless her mother requests a new hip or something.

Roy’s back on the job and Becky offers some sage wisdom by telling him that if he puts on a smile, his face will send his brain a message that he’s happy.  Wait, isn’t that the other way around?  Roy gives Becky his most forced smile ever, just to humour her.

Rosie comes into the cafe to stir John up a bit more.  She places her order and he smiles like a schoolboy as he tells her it’s coming up.  Oh no.  As Roy leaves the cafe to do some errands, John is left to run the place.  Rosie tells him she found a course that she wants to do.  She tells John that she wants to be a doctor.  John thinks that’s great, but tells her that going into medicine is a vocation, a calling, you really have to care for people and have empathy.  Rosie tells him that the trouble with medical school is that it take ages.  John reminds her that she’s young and she has all the time in the world.  Rosie tells him that it’s going to cost a lot, and she’s totally skint.  John tells her that most people work their way through university, but Rosie says she can’t make fifty grand.  John tells mer maybe she’ll need a student loan.  Rosie gets a all sour-faced and tells him that she thought he was going to help her, since according to her, she owes him – big time.  John looks very worried all the sudden.

Rosie goes back into the cafe, and John tells her he doesn’t owe her and to go away.  Rosie says that they need a word in private.  The last customer leaves, and Rosie tells John that she knows his gran’s house was worth more than what he gave her.  John tells her she got everything he had, his mum and dad got the rest.  John accuses her of wasting ever y single penny of that 150 thousand pounds.  Rosie tells him that she better get him that money, or she’ll walk out of that door screaming blue murder.  She says she’ll tell her parents that John assaulted her.  Rosie wants fifty grand in her bank account by the end of the week.  John picks up her bag and shoves her out and tells her that this ends here, then calls her a little bitch.  YOW!  Go John!  John tells her she doesn’t speak to him, doesn’t look at him and if she dates mention money ever again he’ll go to the police and tell them she tried to blackmail him.  Rosie leaves the cafe almost looking sad.  Then an evil smile crosses over her face, as she opens the door and yells “Help, help me, somebody please!” into the streets.

Claire comes in and tells Becky that she was a bit tipsy the night before.  Becky asks her if she was out on the town, but Claire says that she was at home drinking alone.  Becky figures that Claire should come out drinking with her sometime.  Claire says that’d be great.  Becky chokes a bit on her coffee when she realized that Claire meant her comment to be genuine, but agrees nonetheless.  Her and Claire will be out on the town that night.

Becky is in the pub, and overhears Steve talking to “Bernie” on the phone.  She asks if that’s Bernie, Dev’s bird.  Steve lies and says it was Bernie, his financial guy.

Theresa comes by the cabbies with more cakes for Lloyd.  Lloyd accuses her of being a feeder, since she’s brought him about seven cakes in three days.  Theresa says she’s trying to make it up to him.  Lloyd asks how a cake is going to make up for them falling out with Liz and getting barred from the Rovers.  Theresa figures they’ll show Liz by having a party at theirs tonight.  Lloyd reminds her that it’s his place, not theirs.  Lloyd also reminds her that it’s Monday night and everyone has to work tomorrow, besides Theresa.

Theresa sees the factory girls coming out of Underworld and announces her and Lloyd’s party.  Theresa says the magic words: free food and free booze.  Theresa also lets them know that it’s fancy-dress.  Theresa announces that the party is a Vicars and Liz party.  Theresa “corrects herself” and says she meant Vicars and Tarts, obviously.  Sally comments that it’s all a bit 1980’s.  Haha, I was thinking the same thing actually.  Janice agrees that it’d be a right laugh.  Why aren’t Janice and Theresa better friends?  Haha.

Graeme, who will be attending the Vicars and Liz party, is in the Rovers and asks Liz where she got her necklace.  We’re talking about her signature zig-zag piece here.  She tells him that it was a present.  Graeme says it’s fetching.  Liz asks him if he’s taking the mick, and Graeme replies that it’s a sad world when you can’t even pay someone a compliment.  Liz later notices that Graeme keeps staring at her, and that he must be proper weird.

At the table in the Rovers, the factory girls are talking about their costumes for the party that evening.  Sean tells Graeme to get himself a low-cut shirt, and he’ll run him up a skirt.  Graeme says to make it short, since he’s got great legs that could advertise tights.  Haha.  Graeme asks for a big bra too, but Kelly just suggests he get some chicken fillets and put them down his shirt instead.  Graeme wonders if they won’t get all gross.  Sean corrects him that he won’t be using REAL chicken fillets, the plassy ones!  Graeme nods like he knows what on earth they’re talking about.

It’s vicars and tarts night, and everyone comes through dressed to impress.  I’m shocked that Sean came dressed as a vicar, and not a tart.  I also didn’t know that Becky got the invitation also.  Steve sees Becky all done up sexily and gives her a slap on the behind.  Becky tells him that she’s going out with Claire Peacock.

Haha, Theresa shows up dressed like Liz.  I think those are even pieces from Liz’s closet exact!  She better watch out, this might turn Lloyd on.  Julie warns her that this could really hurt Liz’s feelings.  Theresa tells her not to be daft: imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.  Liz sees Fiz in a blond wig and says she looks gorgeous, and asks Fiz if she’s ever thought of dying her own hair blond.  Hahaha.  Fiz just nods uncomfortably.

Meanwhile, Becky ensures that she gets a few shots down Claire’s gullet before they go out.  Claire chokes them back with glee.

Suddenly, Graeme walks in dressed as the best imitation of Liz ever, even having drawn on her necklace in eyeliner on his chest!  Graeme reckons that he and Liz were separated at birth.  Lloyd realizes what Theresa’s done, but Theresa tells him that Liz can take a joke.  Liz tells Theresa that she’s banned.  Theresa accuses Liz of having a sense of humour failure.  Liz tells Theresa, through tears, that she knows she put Graeme up to this, and she’s pathetic.  Liz starts to break out in tears.  Oh, poor Liz, really, this is enough.

Deirdre tries to calm Liz down in the back room by telling her that Theresa is just spiteful and jealous.  Liz figures she’s a woman of a certain age, but doesn’t want to go around in a twin-set and pearls.  Lloyd comes in and tells her he had no idea, he thought it was just a vicars and tarts party.  Liz picks up a mug and throws it at him.

Janice is happy that Hayley is going to be back working at Underworld.  Hayley asks Janice is she thinks there will be any resentment towards her from the factory girls.  Janice sarcastically tells her that no, there won’t be.  Janice says she’ll get no bother from her, at least no more bother than anyone else that would have been in that role.  Haha.  Janice can’t help but rub Sally’s nose in the fact that Hayley is new management, and not her.  At Underworld, Carla makes it know that she wants to be referred to as ‘Mrs. Connor’, no more ‘Mrs. Gordon.’

Carla’s busy sweettalking all of Tony’s clients over the phone, when Hayley comes in asking about what her job description entails.  Carla says that she works in the office, kissing client ass, and Hayley takes care of everything on the floor.  Carla tells Hayley she has to nip out for a couple of ours, to somewhere not nice at all.

Michelle sure wears a lot of black, has anyone else noticed that?  Is she constantly mourning her youth or something?  Ryan says he’s going with her, to let Tony know that he’s going to kill him when he comes out of prison.  Michelle tells him he’s staying home since she can’t deal with him getting in trouble on top of everything else.

It’s Tony’s hearing, and Michelle and Ryan are sat there, when Carla walks in.  Michelle is holding back the tears as Tony is charged with his crimes.  Tony looks over and sees Carla sat in the back.  When Tony leaves, he gives Carla a half smile.  Only, Michelle doesn’t know that Carla’s sat behind them and goes berserk when she thinks Tony’s smiling at Ryan.  She yells at Tony not to smile at her son, then spits on the glass separating them, telling him she spits on him.  Carla watches close to tears as Michelle breaks down in the court room.

Michelle waits for Carla outside the court room and asks her if she knew her husband was a murderer.  Carla asks her if she’d believe her if she told her she didn’t know.  Michelle says she probably wouldn’t believe her.  Carla tells her that she didn’t know, and doesn’t want to be shouted at.

Carla returns to Underworld and pours herself a large glass of booze and tells Hayley to tell the staff that Tony’s been charged, and if they want more they can show up to court themselves.  Hayley tells Carla she must be devastated by all this.

Michelle later tells Ryan not to let the stuff that happened in court let him down.  Wow, stuff just rolls of her back.  One minute she’s spitting at glass, the next she’s laughing at Christmas displays.

Tyrone’s digging into his breakfast in his vest looking as attractive as he possibly can while Auntie Pam overlooks in disgust.  Pam offers to bring Tyrone his lunch so Molly won’t be late for work.  Pam tries to suggest to Tyrone that Molly needs a night out, maybe to the pictures.  Tyrone insists that it’s cheaper to eat in and they don’t have to dress up.  Tyrone’s not biting though.  I suppose Pam’s no longer wondering how Molly fell into Kevin’s greasy arms.

Pam goes into Dev’s to tell Molly that she’s got to get Tyrone trained now, since she’ll have to spend the rest of her life with him.  Molly’s more interested in just cheating on him actually.  Much easier to take advantage of someone else’s already-trained man.  Pam is honest with Molly and tells her that she’s worried that Molly hasn’t finished with Kevin.  Molly denies it and says she has.  Pam tells Molly that she deserves a husband who worships her.  Doesn’t she have one?  Molly gets on the phone to Kev the second Pam leaves the store.

Kevin and Molly meet at his place, and we know where this is going.  Kevin tells her that this is his house, and he wants her in HIS bed.  His, and SALLY’s bed, their marriage bed to be exact.  Uh oh, it seems as though Sophie’s arrived hom with Sian in KEVIN’s house early.  Kevin and Molly are snogging in bed, and they hear the girls downstairs and freak out.  Kevin gets up and tells Molly to wait.  He puts on his dressing gown, and asks Sophie if her mum’s home.  Sophie wonders what he’s doing in his dressing gown and he says he’s getting changed.  Another close call for Molvin!  Molly tells Kev she was almost hoping it was Sally who would catch them, so they could just get it out in the open.

Molly and Kevin meet later at night, and talk about their relationship.  Molly thinks it’s time they come clean to their families.  Kevin agrees, saying his girls are nearly grown up now and all.  Wow, is he really going through with this?  Kevin figures he knows his family will be knocked sideways, but he can’t please everyone, can he?  Kevin asks Molly if she’ll leave Tyrone and start a new life with him.  Molly agrees, of course.

Well, Theresa’s moving on up in the world.  She’s having her hair done in the salon by Audrey “snobby” Roberts.  I suppose Theresa’s a kept woman now.  Theresa and Betty are gossiping over Maria’s life with Tony when Audrey tells them that there’ll be no gossip about Maria in that salon.  So, the ladies start to gossip about Gail instead.  Audrey tries defending Gail and Joe, saying that Joe only had a small addiction to pain killers and has sorted his life out of money issues.  Betty tells her that for a good hair dresser, she’s a terrible liar.

Theresa brings some desserts to Lloyd in the cabbies and he complains that he’s going to be fat.  Theresa tells him she’s looking after him, doesn’t he like that?  Watchout Lloyd, last man she looked after she was poisoning.  Lloyd asks Theresa to just be nice to Liz to make his life easier.  Theresa says she’ll try for his sake.

Theresa sets out to fulfill Lloyd’s desires and is phony-nice to Liz and Liz isn’t having it.  Liz tells Theresa to go back to her usual miserable self, because “nice” isn’t suiting her.  Theresa agrees and tells Liz she looks like mutton dressed as lamb, except a lamb would have more dressings.  That does it, and Liz kicks her out and bars her and Lloyd.  Poor Liz!

Audrey visits Gail and asks for a word in private.  Gail assumes Audrey is there to chew Gail out again.  Gail tells Audrey that her picking Gail’s life apart has become very boring and very predictable.  Gail asks if Audrey remembers the day she married Alf.  Gail asked her why she was going through with it, since Alf wasn’t her type.  Audrey said, at the time, because Alf was safe.  Audrey says she doesn’t recall that.  Gail says that Audrey was sick of excitment and wanted to settle for someone that would put her on a pedastal and never hurt you.  Audrey says that she loved Alf, and Gail retorted that she loved Joe.  Gail acknowledges that there’s been problems, and there could be more along the way, but she’s willing ot take a risk on loving someone who loves her.

Gail tells her that she’s going into her marriage with her eyes open.  Audrey wonders if she should just sit and watch Gail make a mistake.  Audrey, that’s what being a parent’s all about.  You’d think she’d have gotten that by now.  Gail tells her that she could enjoy her life with her, because life’s hard enough without having to fight.  Gail tells Audrey that she doesn’t see the man that Gail sees.  Gail tells Audrey that she’s not like her – she’s not good on her own.  Audrey tells her that she doesn’t want Gail to be alone, just with someone better.  Gail asks Audrey to accept Joe for her.  Audrey tells Gail to not expect her to buy a new outfit.

Audrey sees Joe outside, and tells him that she’s going along with Gail’s wishes, but if he steps one foot out of line, she’s coming down on him like a tonne of bricks.  Joe asks what he’s really done wrong.  Joe claims to be just a man, an average Joe perhaps?  Joe says he wants to spend the rest of his life with Gail, and to give him a break.  Audrey just stalks off.

Liz goes into the cabby office looking for a cab.  Lloyd says the he can drive her, but she declines and requests another driver.  Lloyd follows Liz out and tells her that they’ll have to face another sometime, but Liz says she just doesn’t want him in her personal space.  Theresa shows up around the corner and assumes the wrong then, then tells Liz that Lloyd has moved on.  Theresa can’t leave well enough alone and defends Lloyd and accuses her of acting like she’s 5.  Liz tells her how she acts has nothing to do with her or Lloyd.  Liz tells Theresa if she wants to keep coming to her pub, she’ll keep her opinions to herself.  She then adds the Theresa got Lloyd on the rebound.  Zing!

At the butcher’s, Graeme is entertaining Claire and Ashley will all of the bad names he was called throughout his childhood, heck, life.  Ashley’s afraid that Becky’s going to tell all the other mums that Amy’s picking up swearing from Joshua.  Claire just wants Amy to stop swearing.  Claire complains about how she’s always been the outsider with the other mums.  Graeme figures it was because she got locked up, and that can put people off.  Ashley suggests that Claire get herself involved in this, to make some friends.  I thought she was involved in tons of extra-curriculars already, no?  She’s just not very amiable.  Graeme thinks that Claire needs to find a place with like-minded people.  Such as Wives-Who-Henpeck weekly?

Uh oh, Claire’s new “hobby” is acting.  Graeme and Ashley are stunned as she does her rendition of the Charlston in the butcher shop.  I’m acutally enjoying Claire like this. She’s almost a little half-in-the-bag seeming.  Maybe she traded that cuppa for a glassa wine.  Graeme, of course joins into her chorus line.

Becky shows up to Bessie Primary to get Amy and lights up a ciggie.  The clique of mothers all look at her and let her know there is a new no-smoking sign.  It’s clear that Becky’s not in the “mum’s club” either.  Claire watches this, and says out loud that she should put up a sign, “no bullying by parents.”

Claire stops by the Rovers later, and tells Becky that she thinks the two of them are quite similar people, much to the disbelieving looks of Liz and Becky.  Claire says that she doesn’t think either of them make friends easily.  Claire tells Becky that she’s joining a theatre group to make some new friends.  Becky reckons she must be desperate.  Claire invites Becky along, but doesn’t get a response back as she chokes down her cider.

Eddie Windass is spreading the xmas spirit, by being “that house” that has all the lights on it.  Anna asks her not to spread himself on the pavement.  Gary says it’s embarassing, then Anna and Eddie break out into a carol, much to his further embarrassment.

Rosie just can’t stay away.  She goes into the cafe to tell John she’s signing up for Weatherfield College, then orders a custard slice and some orange juice.  Rosie tells John that it’s down to him why she’s going back to college.  She has a sneaky look on her face.  Up to no good, as usual.

Written by David Lane, directed by Ian Bevitt

Sally wants to have a word with Molly over the books and calls her a dimwit.  She is a bit of a dimwit.  It would seem that Sally left the door open to Underworld the night before.  The factory girls are wondering what they’ll do without management when Carla shows up to everyone’s aghast stares.  You’d think it were the second coming!  Carla announces that she’s their fairy godmother.  That’s not what I’d call her, but sure.

Carla immediately demotes Sally and tells her to get back to her machine.  What a demeaning job!  The factory girls demand to know what’s going on from Carla since they feel they have a right to know what’s going on.  Carla makes it clear that she’s in charge now.

Tony gets his final charges read down at the station, to which he confesses guilty to.

Next stop: Underworld for our detective.  He tells Carla that Tony’s confessed to all.  The detective tells Carla that he cannot find Jimmy Dockerson, so he was wondering if there was any information around Tony’s office leading to his whereabouts.  Carla tells him that she’ll have a look, and that she wants to find Liam’s killer as much as he does. Too bad she thinks she already has killed him.

Carla asks Sally to help her look for some paperwork on Dockerson.  Sally doesn’t look too happy to go through all the Underworld paperwork to find anything on that customer.  Sally finds the paperwork, then mentions that she’s used to skipping on her lunch to keep the business running.  Sally tries her bestest to get her PA position back, but Carla’s not biting.  Carla takes the paperwork on Jimmy Dockerson and proceeds to shred it.

Carla goes to the cafe upstairs to see Roy, but he wants nothing to do with her. Carla tells Hayley that she needs her, that she needs help at the factory.  Hayley says she’ll never step foot back into Underworld again.  Especially since she can’t leave Roy right now.

Maria’s packing up her stuff, and giving the rest of her items to a charity shop for her move to Ireland.  It would appear that Kirk is going to watch after the house and Ozzy.  Yay, at least Ozzy is staying.  Maria bids Kirk and Ozzy goodbye as their taxi arrives.  The Connors see Carla across the street and give her the evils as they pack into the cab for the airport.

Molly is still being quite standoffish towards Tyrone.  Molly was tossing and turning all night.  Maybe from the anticipation of whether or not Sally has found out about their affair.  Tyrone makes a comment about Maria and Tony and how Tony is rich, older, and Maria should have stuck to her own kind.  Tyrone figures that Maria is “one of us” down to earth people, and tells Molly that he and her were made for each other.

Molly has been on edge all day, and Kevin finally comes into Dev’s to tell her that it was only a misunderstanding.  Molly freaks out that Kevin hadn’t told her earlier.  Then Kevin warns her that Sally wants to give her hell over the books.

Molly goes over to Sally’s place with Kevin, since Sally wanted to see her.  Sally tells her it’s her lucky day since she’s got bigger fish to fry at Underworld.  Sally nevertheless gets right into it with Molly over the books.  Kevin says that a lot of the discrepancies are most likely his fault.  Molly says that Sally’s right, and she does the books better than her.  Sally says she has had a lot of experience.  Now they’re just mocking her, how terrible.  I can’t wait to see the back of this affair.  Sally gets an emergency call from Carla needing her at the factory now for about an hour.  Kevin says he’ll go through the books with Molly and tell her where she went wrong, with a smirk.  Oh, that’s just so yucky.

More bad news for Sally when she shows up at Underworld to see that Hayley has agreed to come back and usurp her throne once more. Carla had invited Sally there to run Hayley up to speed on what’s been going on at the factory.  Sally looks very disappointed, Hayley guilty, and Carla just plain bitchy.  Kevin tempts Molly to go upstairs with him, at his house but Molly says it doesn’t seem right.  That’s because it isn’t.  Your entire relationship isn’t right.

Sally’s all upset over her usurping at Underworld and leaves in tears.  Meanwhile, Molly and Kevin come downstairs from he and Sally’s bedroom, post-coitus, with shit-eating-grins on their faces.  All the sudden, the door opens and Sally comes in in tears claiming how much she hates Carla.  They were almost caught!

Oh no, Claire’s back on the scene.  Claire comes into the butchers telling Ashley in a rage that she’s never taking Amy Barlow to school with the boys again.  Apparently Amy has a bit of a potty mouth on her.  Claire mentions that her boys now now the “d” word.  Ashley looks confused as to what the “d” word is.  Steve comes in and Claire tells Ashley that he’s going to have to tell Steve.  Claire tells Steve that Ashley wants a word and she’s going home for a calming herbal tea.  By “calming herbal tea” I hope she means “bottle of wine.”

Steve tells Ashley that he’s been taking golf lessons and doesn’t want Becky knowing about it.  Meanwhile, Becky’s been looking around the street to try and figure out where Steve is.  Kevin suggests to Becky that maybe Steve’s buying her a Christmas gift.  Becky’s hair looks gawd-awful, not sure what she’s doing there.

Steve finally shows up at the Rovers, and Becky questions where he’s been all day.  She asks him how suspicious he wants to look.  Becky tries to fish as to whether or not he was doing any Christmas shopping.  Steve pretends as though that was exactly what he was doing.  Only, we know it wasn’t.  Becky and Steve then begin to argue over which one of them swears more than the other.  Steve says that apparently Amy has been very foul-mouthed with the Peacock kids.

The Peacocks come into the Rovers and Becky asks her straight-out what they’re on about her Amy swearing.  Claire says she’s heard it herself.  Ashley has found out what the “d” word meant.  Ahem, a shortened name for Richard.  Haha.  Becky says that if Amy swore, it’s because her Josh started it.  Claire tells Becky that Joshua does not swear.  Claire also mentions that Becky isn’t exactly Stephen Fry.  Claire tells Becky that she has a restricted vocabulary and has to resort to gutter language.  Becky tells her that she’ll have a restricted wind-pipe if she doesn’t quit it.  I wonder who’d win this scap?  Most likely Becky, but Claire would go in with fistacuffs raised.  Claire leaves in a huff and drags Ashley with her, before he’d even taken a sip of his pint.

Rosie comes into the cafe, nose held high, and tries to order a skinny latte from John.  Hayley tells her that she knows they don’t serve those, and if she’s going to make trouble to just leave now.  Rosie settles for a coffee and John tries to accomodate by whisking the skim milk and adding cocoa.  If Rosie was as traumatized as she says she was by John, she would never step foot in a place he works.   Hayley warns John to watch himself against Rosie Webster.

Later, John asks Rosie if she’s thought about going back into education.  Seriously, just leave it buddy.  Rosie tells him that since she had such a terrible time with her last teacher, she just doesn’t want to see the inside of a classroom ever again.  What a little git!  Hayley gives John an “I told ya so” look.

Rosie sees Carla and runs up to her telling her that if she needs any help at the factory, that she’s available.  Carla spits at her that available could be her middle name then brushes past her with a shoulder shove.  Me-ow!  It’s always nice to see Rosie get insulted though.

Written by Jayne Hollinson (7:30) and Jonathan Harvey (8:30), directed by Ian Bevitt

Sally’s distracted from complaining about Stape for a bit now that she can complain about the fact that she can’t believe she’s been working for a murderer.  Rosie figures that the scariest part of all this was how close she was to death in that hotel room with him.  Well, that’s always the risk you take when you try to seduce strange older men in hotel rooms.  Rosie wonders if the video of Carla kissing Liam that she showed Tony drove him to kill.  Actually, it’s EXACTLY what made him kill Liam.  Kevin says she can’t go thinking that.  Rosie and Sally wonder what will happen to the factory.  Sally asks for the books off Molly from Kevin before she leaves.

Molly arrives at the garage with the books.  Kevin tells her he wanted them back since Sally had been asking for them, and he was putting their motel costs through as expenses.  Molly called him an idiot, but Kev said that he put them down as “sundry expenses.”  Molly assumes that’s all she is, a sundry expense.  Kevin tells her that she’s worth ever penny of that sundry expense.  Ah, how romantic.

Sally comes by the garage and asks Tyrone for the books, only he can’t find them.  Sally roots through some rubbish and finds the books under some rags.  She is shocked at the state of the place and thinks she’ll have to take a hand to more than just the books.    Sally is in the office with the books mashing the calculator telling Tyrone that it just doesn’t add up.  Sally says that according to the books, their profits are down, but it should be rosier.  She also says there’s loads of expenses that have been entered wrong, and she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what they’re for.

Meanwhile, Kevin and Molly are racking up their sundry expenses in their motel room for the afternoon.  Kev’s phone rings while they’re canoodling on the bed.  It’s Sally, so he ignores it.  Then Molly’s phone rings, and it’s also Sally.  They wonder what she wants.  Sally leaves some messages asking Kevin to call her ASAP since he’s got some explaining to do.  Kevin figures that he has to go home and face the music.

Kevin comes home to Sally’s sour face and she demands to know why he didn’t answer his phone.  Kev comes up with some lame excuse.  Sally asks Kevin how could he.  How could he let his books get in such a state.  Kev seems shocked that this is all Sally’s ever after.  Sally goes off about how useless that Molly is at keeping books and wants to know what the hell “sundry” expenses are.  Oh, no you don’t want to know.  Sally wants Kevin to bin Molly for her poor performance.

Maria’s still putting on her “unfit mother” routine leaving Helen and Barry to care for baby Liam.  Michelle comes by and is shocked that Maria wants Barry and Helen to take care of Liam.  Helen figures that it’s her who drove Maria to this – with the things she’s said.  She’s probably right.  They try to figure out how they can all best support Maria, since she can’t cope on her own.  Barry has a solution to their problems.

The Connors tell Maria that her son needs his mother, and with a bit of help it can happen.  Barry and Helen tell Maria that their offer is still open, if she wants to come and live with them in Ireland.  Maria doesn’t know what to think.  Maria leaves to go for a walk and to get some fresh air.

Audrey finds Maria crying on a bench and brings her into the salon back for a cuppa.  Maria figures that it’s like Tony is dead and all, since he never really existed.  Well, not the person she thought he was at least.  Maria feels even worse realizing that no one in her life (‘cept for Kirk) really liked Tony and that she should have listened to Natasha.  Maria figures that her baby would be much better off without her.  Audrey tells her that she is trying to punish herself by telling herself that she doesn’t deserve that one thing in the world she most loves, but she does.  Maria tells Audrey about the Connor’s offer to move to Ireland with them.  She feels it’d be nice to have help, but also doesn’t want to be weak.

Maria returns home and asks after baby Liam, and apologizes to everyone.  Helen apologizes for all the things she’s said.  She just felt so angry having both of her sons taken from her, it didn’t seem fair.  She also says that a bit of her felt jealous that Maria still had her son when she lots both of hers.  Maria surprises the Connors by telling them that she’d like to move to Ireland with them.  She needs help and a fresh start.  Maria answers a knock at the door, thinking its Michelle, to reveal Carla Gordon.  Uh oh.  She asks what Carla is doing there.  Helen comes to the door and spits at Carla that she’s not welcome there.  Carla asks what she’d ever done to Helen?  Helen says that she loathed Carla, and her gut instinct was right.  Helen tells Carla if she hadn’t been having her sordid little affair with her son, he’d still be alive.  Carla says she came back because she’s heard Tony was arrested and wants to know what’s going on.  Carla pleads with Maria that she needs to know what’s going on.  Maria tells Carla to come in, against Helen’s protests.  Carla can’t believe that Tony is a killer.

Maria tells Carla that Tony has confessed to Liam’s murder – the he paid someone else to kill Liam.  Maria tells Carla that Tony paid someone named Jimmy Dockerson, a car mechanic, to do the job.  Carla starts to sweat at the mention of Jimmy’s name.  Helen accuses Carla of being in on the whole thing.  Carla says she loved Liam, and she’d never have wanted him dead.  Maria asks Helen and Barry if she can’t have some time on her own with Carla.

Maria asks Carla if she knows anything about Liam’s death at the hands of Tony.  Helen brings down baby Liam and asks Carla if she’d like to say hello since she hasn’t met him yet.  Helen insists she’s holding out the olive branch.  Carla looks at baby Liam, all upset, and says that he’s beautiful.  Carla says she swears to Maria that she didn’t know.  Carla says she left Tony because she told him that she loved Liam, and because her marriage couldn’t survive her grieving for Liam.  She said she left, because she realized that she didn’t love Tony anymore.  She asks Maria if she loved Tony and Maria nods her head yes.  Carla tells Maria she’s sorry and embraces her in a hug.

Carla sees Leanne and Leanne asks how she is.  Carla says that she’s got to go to see police, and she’s stopping in a hotel in town since she can’t go back to her flat.  Leanne asks if she knew anything, and Carla asks her how she could even think that.  Carla asks Leanne not to tell Janice since she doesnt want the factory witches to know she’s back.

Carla is at her police questioning, by police.  She must be nervous.  Carla asks if Tony will be charged for Liam’s murder, even if he didnt actually do it.  The detective tells her that since Tony orchestrated it, he’ll be charged.  They tell her that Tony will also be charged with the attempted murder of Roy Cropper.  Carla is shocked, clearly Maria didn’t tell her everything.  Carla figures that none of this makes any sense.  The detective seems slightly suspicious of Carla.  Carla leaves the police station with tears in her eyes.

Becky stops by the Croppers to see how Roy and Hayley are doing.  Becky asks Roy if she remembers the Darling Buds of May where they never said “perfect”, but always “perfec.”  Hayley wishes life were more “perfec.”  Becky agrees and looks somewhat sad.  Maybe there is trouble in paradise for her and Steve.  Becky tells Roy that he’s got to face the world sometime, so encourages him to go back to work.  Hayley seconds that notion.  Roy says he’ll leave when he’s good and ready.

Audrey arrives on the street and sees the For Sale sign on Gail’s front lawn and wants to know what’s going on.  Gail tells her mother than her and Joe are moving because they decided to downsize.  David figures it’s an attempt to get rid of him.  No David, that’s merely a fringe benefit.  Gail reminds David that the world doesnt revolve around him.  Audrey assumes Gail is doing this for the money beacuse of Joe and his unemployment.  Gail tells Audrey it’s none of her business.  Is she new here?  This is Corrie.  Everything is everybodys business.  Audrey also learns of Joe and Gail’s engagement.  Audrey knows that Gail didn’t tell her because she knew how she’d react.  Gail claims she was right to, since Audrey’s all “purse lips and grimaces.”  Haha.  Audrey accuses Joe of being a leech, and not to come to her when she needs bailing out.  Audrey leaves in a huff, and David follows with a nod.

David tries to put a damper on Gail’s day by telling her that it will be months before she can shift her house in this market.  That may be true, but not if the price is right.  The door rings, and David answers the door to the loan shark.  The loan shark asks to come in, and Gail lets him in unknowingly.  Gail gets rid of David and ushers in the loan shark.  Gail shows loan shark around, when Joe comes home and gets white as a sheet when he recognizes loan shark.  The loan shark asks if they’re planning to move far, and Gail informs him that they don’t know yet.  Joe follows loan shark out and Joe tells him that they’re selling the place to raise enough money to pay him back.  Oh, just thought of something.  If they get a flat where is Joe going to dock Gail Force?

In the salon, Audrey asks David how many times Gail is going to hook up with some dodgy man that is no good for her.  Audrey thinks that they got engaged while she was away because deep down she was embarrassed.  She figures that subconciously Gail knows she’s making a very dangerous move.  Audrey gets an invitation to the Weatherfield Council Christmas Party and is delighted.  It’s Audrey and a plus one.

Audrey boasts about her invite to the Weatherfield Council Christmas party to Freda and Norris at the Rovers.  It is the event of the season, after all.  Norris says he’d rather stay home sticking pins in his eyes.  Norris asks who shes going to take since he doesn’t see a dazzling queue of gentile homme making a path to her house.  Haha.  Audrey asks Norris if he’d do her the great honour of accompanying her to the Christmas bash at the town hall.

Gail complains about her mother in the Rovers later to Joe.  She says that her mother is so eager to point out the bad in people, unlike Gail who always tries to see the best in them.  Yes, she does see the good in everyone, almost to a fault.  Joe suggests that she make up with her mother for pity’s sake.  Gail says that her mother can’t stand Joe, so she can’t stand her mother.  Joe nails it on the head when he calls her childist, but Gail insists that her mother makes her feel childish.  Speak of the devil, Audrey walks in and Joe and Gail leave.

Looks like Dev has arrived for his golf lessons, and an attractive young woman comes up to him and introduces herself as his golf coach.  Dev, of course is shocked, thinking the coach would be some older chap.  Dev of course puts is foot in his mouth not knowing she’s his golf coach.  He’s bloody terrible at golf, by the by.

Dev’s coach tells him he might need a few more lessons before he can compete in the open.  Dev thinks that’s great as it means he gets to spend some more time in her company.  Dev tries to ask her out, and she tells him that she prefers a beer.  Dev knows just the place, but asks her if she can keep mum about being a golf instructor since he doesn’t want Steve to know about his training.  So, THIS is where the whole golf side-bit was going.

Dev goes into the pub with Bernie, his “solicitor” as he’s calling her.  Steve and Michelle gossip about whether or not Dev is seeing her, since he is a social climber.  Steve doesn’t believe for a second that Bernie’s a solicitor, since Dev’s always had dodgy taste in birds.  Could it be, that Steve knows that Bernie is a golf pro?

Later Michelle catches Steve watching Dev and Bernie, and figures Steve is ogling Bernie.  Steve asks Dev if he’s in trouble with the law, since he’s with his solicitor.  I knew it!  Steve sidles up next to Bernie while Dev is in the loo and asks her how long Dev’s been having lessons for.  Bernie tells Steve that Dev’s just started so he’s got a bit of catching up to do with Steve.  Steve asks Bernie to stay mum since if Becky finds out how much he’s been spending on lessons, she’ll kill him.  Oh, so maybe Becky thinks Steve’s been playing away, when he’s really been coaching away all this time?  Bernie tells him her lips are sealed.

Ryan, Ben, Sophie and Sian are walking home from school and they see Michelle walk by.  Ben remarks that he thinks Michelle is dead brave and noble.  Oh, the beginnings of a school boy crush.

Written by Lucy Gannon (7:30) and Stephen Russell (8:30), directed by David Kester

The next morning at Maria’s, Maria feels full of unanswered questions, and Audrey agrees.  Michelle has spent the night, and Ryan shows up for some toast.  Michelle tells him to sit down and tells him about what’s happened.  Ryan is sobbing “no” in the next room.  He’s not a very good actor, who plays him.  Maria feels responsible for Ryan’s upset.  Audrey tries to tell her that it’s not her fault what has happened.

Ryan is angry that Maria let Tony live there, but Michelle insists it’s not her fault.  Ryan is angry, but wants to go to school anyway.  Does anyone care?   Ryan returns home later and Michelle consoles him.  Ryan wants to kill Tony.  Michelle says they all feel like that, but they won’t do it.  No, because then they’d BE Tony.   Ryan starts packing his bag and says he’s going.  He figures that ever since they came to that place, everything’s been bad.  He is right, maybe they should go after all.  Bye Michelle!  Ryan wants to go to Ireland to live with Mammy Connor.  Michelle insists that he call his grandparents first.

Maria is inside the house and throwing random things that remind her of Tony into a trash bag when Kirk and Fiz arrive.  Audrey updates them on the Tony-killing-Liam story and they’re in obvious shock.  Maria wants to get rid of everything that Tony has touched.  Maria figures that Tony is everywhere and she’ll never be able to get rid of him.  Kirk tells Maria that she should have called him, he’s never far away.  Michelle says that her mother called, but she couldn’t tell her of what happened, so she had her put her dad on and told him.  The Connors aren’t come right away, since Michelle held them off.  Michelle tears up to Audrey that it feels like she’s got to look after everyone.

Everyone tries to get Maria up and out of the house for some fresh air.  Fiz tries to assure Maria shes going to be fine, but she says she can’t go out and face everyone.  She’s too ashamed over what has happened and refuses to leave her house.

Audrey finally leaves Maria and Liam alone, telling Maria shes very proud of her and how shes been handling this.  Maria says she’s happy for the time alone.

Looks like Ryan’s not going after all.  Oh well, win some, lose some.  Ryan tells Michelle that her parents are at the airport, here in Manchester.

Well, just when I thought I’d wiped my hands of her, she’s back: Mammy Connor.  Helen can’t figure out why Tony would do this to Liam.  Michelle tells her that Liam was having an affair with Carla, Tonys wife.  The Connor’s can’t believe it.

Maria’s at home crying along with baby Liam, when she hears Mammy Connor knocking at the door asking to be let in.  Maria meets them at the door and says she’s so sorry.  Helen gives her a hug and consoles her.  Helen asks why Maria didn’t tell them about Liam and Carla.  Wait, didn’t she?  I’m sure she told them that Liam was unfaithful to her, at least.  Maria said she didn’t want them to know that about Liam.  Helen can’t help herself and asks Maria was she was thinking, and if she was shacking up with Tony since Liam cheated on her with Carla.  Maria tells Helen what we’re all thinking that she’s got a tiny mean mind, and says she’s going out.

When she’s gone, Barry tells Helen that she should think before she speaks.  Helen just figures that Barry lets people walk all over him.  Barry wants to keep his grandson in his life, and realizes that Maria could take him out of their lives at any time she wants.  Helen says that Maria wouldn’t do that, but Barry argues that he would if he were her.  Barry puts his foot down and tells Helen that she’s to apologize to Maria when she returns and that she’s never to accuse Maria.

In the Rovers, everyone talks about how shocked they are that Tony was a murderer, but some thought he always had something strange about him.  Barry comes into the Rovers and asks if Michelle’s seen Maria since she went out and hasn’t come back yet and is not answering her phone.  Kirk offers to go with Barry to look for Maria.  Where could she be?

Kirk brings the Connors to the cemetary and they find Maria at Liam’s grave with baby Liam.  Helen apologizes to Maria saying she only did her best and didn’t deserve to get manipulated by a murderer.  Maria tells Helen she doesn’t feel capable and that she’s not fit to be Liam’s mother.  Helen tells her of course she’s fit, she’s got to be.  Maria tells Helen to take baby Liam, and she runs off leaving Liam there with the Connors and Kirk.  Que baby Liam’s crying.

Roy seems to be having trouble sleeping and has been prescribed sleeping pills as a result, eventhough he insists he doesnt require them.  Roy says that sitting around remembering everything doesnt help.

Becky and Steve pop into the cafe with some train magazines for Roy.  Becky’s not happy that Steve’s golfing over spending time with her.  Is Becky turning into a golf widow already?  The factory girls come into the cafe and bombard Hayley with questions regarding Tony Gordon and the police.  Becky can see that Hayley is overwhelmed, so she helps her out behind the counter until John arrives.  The factory girls keep harassing Hayley for details and she’s had enough, and tells them to “shut up, just shut up.”  Hayley tells them that Tony Gordon has killed Liam Connor.  Janice replies, “The baby?”  To which Hayley corrects her and asks her how stupid is she?  That’s rhetorical.

Dev and Steve head off for their golf game.  They argue about whose car they should drive, since the winner will be celebrating and drunk.  Therefore they agree to get a cab.  Lloyd tells Steve that they’re all booked up.  Steve points out the irony that he owns a cab firm but can’t get a cab.

Dev and Steve are at the golf club, and there seems to be a problem with Dev’s guest membership.  His guest status has elapsed.  Dev slaps his wallet and asks them how he extends it.  The gentleman tells him that he doesn’t – he’d have to apply for full membership.  The man tells him that to apply, there is a waiting list that is about five years on average.  Steve pipes up that he’s a guest member and they get a spot in the afternoon.  Steve gets Dev to buy him lunch before the game – oh wait, he can’t because he’s not a member.  Steve huffs away and Dev follows but not before tripping over his golf bag.  Haha.

Only, Steve’s pride is only short lived, as it is revealed that he was a guest member of Paul Connor, who has passed away quite some time ago.  Now, they will have to pay an extra 50 pounds each time they want to play there.  Where is this going?  The golf manager tells them that one of their members has passed over, so there’s a vacancy.  Erm, shouldn’t that go to whomever is on the 5-year waiting list next?  Dev and Steve argue over who’s going to be the member, and who’s going to be the guest.  The decide that whoever wins a game of golf will receive the prize of “member.”  Dev grabs a golf lessons brochure from the desk before leaving.

Becky comes by Gail and Joe to congratulate them and lets Gail know that the same dress she wore at her wedding is still for sale, if Gail’s interested in being her bridal twin.  I’ll say that’s a no.  Gail talks with Becky about her dress as Joe gets phone call that spreads a look of confusion over his face.  Joe tells Gail the call was about a possible job.

Joe’s debt-collector shows his face again and is tooling around with Joe’s boat, wondering if his kids are old enough for one.  The loan shark tells Joe that his debt has doubled as of today – that’s what happens when he misses his payments.  How is that?  The loan shark threatens him that he better not miss next week’s payment, or worse will happen to him.  Joe looks like he’s about to have a heart attack.

Gail comes home later with all her shopping and Joe is busy fretting and wringing his hands in the kitchen.  Gail notices Joe’s mood and asks him what’s wrong.  Joe admits to Gail that he’s in terrible debt.  David walks in right then.  He’s got a knack for walking in at the right time, doesn’t he?  Gail tells him to leave, this is private.  Once alone, Joe tells Gail that he owes thousands, and thousands, and thousands of pounds.  He’s completely broke and he doens’t know what else to do.

Gail is overwhelmed looking over all of Joe’s debt paper work.  She asks how it happened, and he said he just kept getting in over his head trying to make investments to pay of debts, and only getting into more debt.  Gail tells Joe she needs to get some air, and leaves.  Gail returns and tells Joe that she thinks she should sell the house, becuase then they can pay off his debts and the mortgage, and there’d be enough left for a flat for them.  Joe hugs Gail in relief over hearing this.  I wonder what Audrey will have to say?

Joe asks if Gail is sure she wants to sell her house.  Gail tells him that it’s only money – they can be them anywhere.  Joe says, again, that he really doesn’t deserve her.  Gail and Joe are frantically cleaning the place in preparation for the estate agent’s visit.  David comes downstairs but Gail quickly tells Joe NOT to tell David that the house is on the market.  The phone rings and David picks it up for it to be estate agent, of course.  Gail tells David that she was going to tell him.  Gail and Joe tell David that neither of them care what he thinks.  I hope that Gail and Joe get a flat for TWO.  Gail says that it’s time David grew up and that he doesn’t need to know anything more about their business.

It’s the 20^th, Jesse’s birthday, and Eileen asks him if he’s got a booking today, but he says he hasn’t.  She remarks that maybe they should make the most of it and do something later.  Jesse’s hesitant but agrees to meet her for a pint at 5:30.

Eileen can tell that Jesse is avoiding her, so she finally confronts him about it being his birthday.  He asks how she found that out, and she says she searched through his wallet.  She also tells him she’s ordered a limo for a big night out surprise.  Jesse tells her that he always does the same thing for his birthday, and didn’t think she wanted to join in: his mother does him a birthday tea.  Eileen says she’ll go, they booked the limo, may as well use it.  Jesse doesn’t look too thrilled that she’s coming.

Later, Eileen and Jesse enter the Rovers and it doesn’t sound like Eileen was very happy about spending the evening with Jesse’s family.  Why are they together?  Eileen reckons that she knows where she stands in the pecking order: below every person in his family and somewhere short of a parrot.  Eileen walks out in a huff, but Jesse purposely doesn’t follow her and orders a pint instead.

Blanche finds out from Peter that George is coming over for dinner and volunteers for her and Deirdre to do the dinner at theirs since Peter’s busy as it is.  That Blanche just wants to see more of George, clearly.  Peter tries to halt her, but there’s no stopping our Blanche.

George comes over to the Barlows for supper and brings Eva along with him this time.  Haha, Blanche shows up at the door of the living room with, as Simon would call it, a “funny face on” a whole lot of rouge on her cheeks.

Blanche of course, manages to manipulate the dinner situation by drinking too much wine and fawing over George.  Blanche shares with all of us her thoughts on current society: “Kids on every corner, lurking and spitting, pavements knee deep in dog-do, murderers running factories.  Oh, it’s not like it was ‘round here.  Was a time when stupid people with nowt to steal could leave the doors open!”  Haha.  George tries to neutralize the situation by telling her that there’s good and bad everywhere.

Blanche opines that there’s good and bad in this very room.  Blanche does what she does best, and pulls out the Barlow’s dirty laundry in front of guests.  Haha, Blanche is completely inebriated and trying to slap her own hand.

Well, Blanche’s little routine didnt go over well with George.  He didnt like the fact that Simon’s father was a drunk and that his girlfrind Leanne was a prossie.

Back at the Bookies, George walks in and apologizes for the way he reacted early on.  George tells them that his mother was a drunk, but she never had the courage to face up to it.  George figures whatever they’ve done it means nothing to him.  George tells them that he’s done things far worse than either of them could do.  George tells him that he abandoned his child.  Peter tells him that Lucy didn’t hate him, but George says that she should have done.  George thanks them for welcoming him into their family and Simon reminds him that he is family.  George comes back with a huge bouquet of flowers for Leanne (not from Dev’s), and an iPod for Peter as a sorry gift.  Peter says it’s too much but George says it isn’t since they’ve been generous to him with their hearts, and this is tiny by comparison.

Written by Mark Wadlow, directed by David Kester

We start where we left off last time, with Roy floundering around in the canal trying to keep his head above water, with Tony overlooking from the bridge.  Suddenly, Roy gives up his struggle and sinks to the bottom.

Meanwhile, at home, Hayley is worried about Roy since Tony is on the loose.  Maria is wittering on that “it’s Tow-neh” and Hayley just loses it on her asking her when she’s going to realize what’s staring her in the face.  I know Maria’s distressed, but it’s really annoying when Hayley’s panicking over Roy’s life here.  Hayley apologizes for shouting at her, but Maria tells her she’s right.  Maria decides to have Michelle come over to hers to console her, rather than to help Hayley find Roy.

Instead, Hayley doesn’t know where to go, so she heads to the Rovers to find Becky.  Becky, of course, has no idea what’s going on.  So Hayley catches her up quickly and they head to the canal.

Tony watches as the water that Roy’s under becomes very still, and almost walks away, but has a second thought (of guilt?) to go back, jump in and get Roy out.  He manages to find Roy and pull him out.  Tony performs mouth-to-mouth on Roy to revive him.   Roy’s breathing again, and is shocked to see who is standing over him.  Tony walks away from the whole scene, leaving Roy in shock and, seeing a group of bats fly around above his head.  Maybe it wasn’t an excuse after all?

Michelle arrives at Maria’s place and Maria tells her to sit down.  Maria tells Michelle the whole story to her shock and dismay.  Maria wonders if their relationship was all an act, so maybe he could kill her or her baby.  Maria instantly calls Audrey to see if Liam’s okay, then asks her to get in a taxi to her place, she’d explain when she gets there.

Hayley and Becky arrive at the canal and are shouting for Roy and find him wet, and sitting up against the wall.  Roy tells them how Tony Gordon tried to kill him, then changed his mind.  They ask where Tony is, but Roy says he didn’t let him know before he stalked off.  Haha.

We see Tony walk straight to the police station.  Oh, and he looks even better wet.  He goes to the front desk and tells the front desk clerk that he’s come to confess to murder.  The detective that had questioned Tony earilier gets wind of this, and goes to question him.

Hayley and Becky take Roy to the hospital to make sure he’s okay.  In the hospital, a police officer approaches them to tell them that Tony Gordon’s in a custody suite after handing himself in.

In the interrogation room, Tony Gordon admits to arranging the murder of Liam Connor.  He says he paid the driver of the car that killed him and then gives up Jimmy Dockerson.  He says he planned and executed the whole thing with great precision.  Tony tells them he came up with it when he found out that Carla was sleeping with Liam.  He said his motive was jealousy.  The detective says that loads of men get jealous.  Tony tells them that most men don’t have the means or the guts to knock people off.  Tony lets them know that the only reason he’s there is because he walked through that door – they had nothing on him.  The detective asks him why he’s confession now, and Tony says he can’t live with himself anymore.

Roy goes over the details of his horrific evening and is intriguied by the fact that Tony came back and saved him.  Roy doesn’t believe that Tony is a killer at heart, and he suspected that all along.  What?  You mean Tony’s not a psychopath?  No, but he’s still a killer, heart or not.  Bad intentions are bad intentions.  Roy is just being egotistical here thinking that his whole “conscience” lectures did something to Tony, let’s be real.  At home, Hayley insists that Roy go to bed, but he’d rather record what he saw that night in his bat journal.  He’s got bigger fish to fry now, apparently.

Audrey arrives at Maria’s, and as Maria’s explaining to Audrey the phone rings and it’s Hayley.  Hayley updates Maria on the situation.  Before she can explain, she leaves baby Liam with Audrey again, as her and Michelle head down the station so Maria can see Tony.

Tony tells the police that he lives for Maria Connor and baby Liam, and if he can’t have them – he may as well be locked up, key thrown away.  Maria arrives, but they can’t her any information.  The desk clerk then sees the detective on Tony’s case, and lets him know she’s there.  The detective requests to speak with her.  He brings her into an office and lets her and Michelle know that Tony has just confessed to killing Liam Connor.  Maria says she wants to see Tony, but they tell her that’s not possible but Maria begs so they let her in for 5 minutes.

Maria asks him why he did it.  Tony tells her he’d fallen in love with her, and if there was a way to hold onto it, he would have.  Maria says he’s sick for sleeping with his victim’s wife.  Tony tells her he thought he could have atoned for her sins.  Maria asks who would have been next to have an accident, her, Liam?  Tony insists he’d never lay a finger on that child.  Maria tells him that she loved him.  Tony says he regretted Liam’s death since the day it happened.  Tony says he confessed because he couldn’t live with himself any longer.  Maria says it’s a pity he had to live at all.  Maria says he deserves to be hanged, and she’d watch, then she’d cheer, then she’d dance on his grave.  These words bring tears to Tony’s eyes as he tells her he loves her.  Maria breaks down in tears the second she leaves the interrogation room.  Poor thing.  Wait until Mammy Connor hears about this!