Trouble with a Capital T: Wed June 24, 2009 Episode Review

June 24 2009

Written by Jonathan Harvey, Directed by Tony Prescott

Molly apologises again to Jack about Tyrone. Molly goes over to the garage to tell Tyrone to sort his issues with Jack, or Jack will move out. Sally remarks to Tyrone that Molly has a swing in her step, he must be doing something right. Oh, the irony. This plasters a big smile on Tyrone’s face. The man that knew too little. Jack tells Tyrone that he’s not replacing Vera, that Connie is just a mate. No, sorry I’m not having that. They’re not just mates. It’s definitely more than that, but let’s not go there.

Steve is getting very jealous of Becky and Slug/Neil to the point where it’s not so cute anymore. Hayley enforces Steve’s suspicions and informs him that Slug/Neil is trouble with a capital T. Well put! Becky’s not happy when she realizes Steve doesn’t trust her.

Maria tells Tony she had a dream of him… and a bucket full of baby oil. Just kidding! *snap out of that daydream* In Maria’s dream, Tony’s eyes were red. Like the devil. She blames the bad dream on eating cheese before bed. Pfft, I eat cheese before bed (and all day long) and I don’t have devil-dreams! Tony is happy to feel little-baby-fatherless-thanks-to-him kick in Maria’s tummy, then looks ashamed afterwards. For shame.

The factory girls gossip over Tony and Maria’s new “situation.” Sean opines that you couldn’t write that stuff, they should put it in a play. Then he tries his best to do Tony’s Scottish accent. Hi-la-ri-ous!

Jason spends his morning doling out the apologies. Minnie first, then Tina. Tina is unforgiving (and unforgetting), but they settle on being mates. Mmm-hmm. *bobs head* Minne decides Jason’s not her type. She asks Tina if he’s her type and what her type is. Oh, I don’t even want to know if there’s more where David came from. Tina responds that her type is ANYONE besides David. Well, Jason should be happy that’s him checking all her boxes!

Fiz hasn’t said anything about her and John’s engagement. They talk about John’s mental state and Julie states that depression is like a prison, and it’s ironic, because he’s in a prison. That was pretty funny. C’mon. Side note: Did anyone notice an old fireplace now on the opposite wall in No. 5? Was it always there? Duh if it was.

Well, Rosie didn’t come home last night after being with Luke. Three guesses as to where she was, the first two don’t count. That’s right, Rosie’s cosy in Luke’s bed looking very pleased with herself. Sally’s just Rosie’s No. 1 fan recently. I wonder (£££) why? After Rosie walks in from her walk-of-shame, Kevin tells her that Luke’s just using her for her money. She says that’s not what he was using her for last night. Uh…. Sally thinks Luke is just a fine bloke for her daughter. What? What kind of a mother is she? Her and Rosie remind me of characters in one of those old-timey movies where the manipulative mother tries to do anything she can to get her daughter married to a man from a “good family” with a title for her own personal gain, and the stupid snotty daughter falls right in line only to be the one who suffers in the end. Well, actually, the man was probably suffering all the way through. Watch out Luke!

Sally’s quite forthright and asks Luke straight out if he’s using Rosie for her money. He says he never intended for the night to end like that. Sure, sure. Rosie comes into the factory and tells all that she may be coming back as their boss. Cue open-mouthed stares.

Kevin tries to put the threat on Luke Strong about using Rosie, but his efforts are ineffective as usual. Kevin projects his bad mood onto Molly then later apologises. Kevin breaks down and tells Molly that all he cares about is her. Then he gives her that look: like he’s the spoon and she’s the ice cream. Molly asks what he’s doing, but he says he doesn’t know. Oh YES he does. Kevin goes on further to tell her that he can’t stop thinking about her, he fancies her like mad and he wants to jump her bones! She looks somewhere between petrified and intrigued. Let’s call it petrigued. Molly gives him five across the eyes and tells him to keep away from her! Well, that was awkward. As she leaves, Molly half-smiles to herself. Girl is trouble with a capital T! *makes Hayley’s hand sign into a T* On a side note, what is Molly wearing? A cropped blazer with cargo-jeans? I didn’t even know cargo-jeans existed! And for women! She doesn’t need Kevin Webster to pump her self-esteem, she needs What Not To Wear.

Blanche, You’ve STILL got it!

Blanche still got it copy

Inside Soap Magazine revealed the results of a poll of their most-loved characters.

Our Blanche (Maggie Jones) won the title of “Soap’s all time greatest comedy character.”

Well played old girl!

Source: Digital Spy

How Romantic: Mon June 22, 2009 Episode Review

June 22 2009

Written by David Lane (7:30) & Julie Jones (8:30), Directed by Tony Prescott.

Tyrone finds out that Kevin thought Jason and Molly were sleeping together, and thought it was funny. It’s clear that he thought Jason wouldn’t be interested in Molly. Ouch! She’s miffed now! Way to go Tyrone! Tyrone is being extremely rude to Connie at the tea Molly invited her to. A photo knocks over during tea, and Tyrone thinks it’s a sign from Vera that she doesn’t approve of Connie. When did Vera turn into poltergeist? Connie sets Tyrone straight about why she’s with Jack. Jack however has had enough of Tyrone’s acerbic personality and has decided it’s time for him to fly the coop. That Tyrone is such a boob!

At the pub, Sean is twittering about his weight again. Becky suggests he try smoking. Yeah, she never had a shot at med school. Slug/Neil shows up and Becky is mildly suspicious, but delights in reminiscing with him about their “living la vida loca” days. Steve finds out that Slug/Neil is Becky’s ex and gets jealous. It’s kinda cute. Romantic even.

Bill and Auntie Pam are propping up the bar at the Rovers and decide they should write each other’s singles ads. How romantic! They’re jovially making fun of each other in the process. Pam describes Bill as “strong, reliable, practical.” Like a tool. I didn’t say it, Bill did. Bill takes it too far and describes Pam as a “bargain-basement Cherie Blair look-a-like seeking dough-boy type bloke for ducking-and-diving, wheeling-and-dealing.” Pam does not find this as hysterical as Bill does and walks out in a fit! Oh Bill, now you’ve gone and done it.

Tina’s having a good laugh with Minnie and Molly in Dev’s shop until Gary walks in. It’s been SO long since I’ve seen Tina smile that I’ve forgotten how pretty her face was! Anyway, Gary can’t help himself and goes into the kebab shop later to try to talk to her. Jason “White Knight” Grimshaw oversees this and gets rid of Gary for Tina. Minnie mops up the drool on the floor in front of her in time to ask Jason for a drink. Tina is clearly jealous!

Tina and Joe are having a drink later at the Rovers and Tina can’t stop watching Jason and Minnie. Minnie isn’t terribly interested in Jason as she ditches him to go watch a documentary on obese women and the men who feed them instead. Minnie’s a bit of a tease playing hard to get and all! Jason sidles up to Tina after Joe leaves. Tina ribs him for being ditched by Minnie. Jason says he didn’t really like Minnie, but she was “giving it to him on a platter” so how could he say no? Wow, charming. Jason is drunk-as-a-skunk and tries to hit on Tina now, telling her he thinks they have a vibe going on. Tina seems to find this endearing until Jason suggests they go back to his. How romantic! Jason tries kiss Tina but she gets mad because she feels like sloppy-seconds after Minnie turned him down. Then she shuts him down like it’s closing time. How the Knight-y has fallen.

Well, here’s what we’ve all been waiting for. Fiz is a desperate woman and she decides to do what any sane person would do: go to the prison and setup a protest outside the front by chaining herself to the railing and refusing to budge until she sees John Stape. It seems her little act of defiance has caught the attention of the prison manager who is not happy about the bad attention she’s generating. She’s got a few supporters now chanting with her “break your rules, save John’s life!” John is called to the prison manager’s office and sees on the CCTV that Fiz is chained outside with a sign asking him to marry her. John finally agrees to see Fiz, and they embrace when they see each other. It is kind of romantic, if you don’t think about it. I must mention at no time does he seem suicidal to me. He admits to Fiz he thought about suicide, but he’d never do it. The little weasel! This whole suicide watch was probably taken from some evil twisted little chapter in the David Platt handbook! There are comical undertones when the visit is up and John Stape is torn away from his Fiz whilst she protests he that answer her question. John says that he will marry her, that he loves that Fiz Brown! How romantic. Almost.

Earlier Sally suspected to Julie that John Stape could just be faking this suicide watch all for the attention. I think she’s right. You know, Sally could have made a top-notch detective. One of those hard-knocks with humble beginnings, a shady past and a chip on her shoulder. Well, at least a good TV detective. Sally says she saw right through John Stape from the start. Girlfriend, please. Sally now has it in her head that if Rosie buys into Underworld that equals a promotion to PA for her. She every so subtly tells Luke that if he made some “managerial” changes (ie. her to PA instead of Janice) that she might be inclined to use her influence over Rosie regarding an investment in Underworld. She’s planting seeds and she doesn’t have a green thumb.

Rosie is still going on her mad spending sprees much to the disapproval of Sally and Kevin especially. Rosie meets with Luke later in the pub and lays it out for him: she wants 10% and to be totally hands-on. Rosie says she has no interest in being a silent partner and is not one to fade into the background. Nobody puts baby in the corner!

Barack on the cobbles???

June 16 gossip barack on street

So, apparently Barack Obama has a distant cousin by the name of Dawn Galley through his great-great-great grandad Fulmuth Kearney who came from a small village in Ireland.

Great-great-great grandad?  At that point down the line, I’m probably related to Barack as well!

Nonetheless, Dawn lives in Salford, Greater Manchester, and wants to make part-Irish Obama an honorary Mancurian as well.  How better to do that than to invite him for a tour of The Street?  That’s what Dawn intends to do if Barack comes for a visit!

So is that what I have to do to get a tour of The Street?  Become president of the USA? Hmm….

Also, Irish band “The Corrigans” wrote a song called “There’s No One as Irish as Barack Obama.”  That sounds like a great drinking song!

Check it out if you’re curious!:

Source: The Sun UK

Fiz to be married? = Chesney steals car!

June 13 2009 gossip chesney

Well, this is one crazy spoiler.  No pun intended.

Chesney decides to steal a sportscar after he finds out that his sister Fiz is set to marry John Stape!  What? prison wedding?  I guess orange (or blue it seems) will be their “wedding colour.”

Oh, and the new sportscar?  It’s Rosie Websters?  Bought with by John’s cash, how fitting.

He drives around like mad, and almost hits Anna Windass.  He confesses all to her, BUT instead of getting mad, she feels sorry for him, and helps him clear his evidence out of the car and pretend it all didn’t happen.

Is he like Gary junior to her?  She screwed up on Gary, so she’ll find a new red-headed boy to do right by?

Well, I don’t have to say it, but I will.  What would Blanche say?

Source: The Sun UK

Check out my recaps at Coronation Street Blog!

Blanche still got it copy

Dear WWBS followers,

I’m pleased (and proud) to announce that I will be joining forces with Coronation Street Blog by becoming a contributor.

I will be writing episode recaps for this blog, which you can find here, as of today:

That being said, What Would Blanche Say blog is still ALIVE AND WELL!

I will be continuing to blog here as well, on all the marvelous wit that is of Blanche Hunt, as well as on our twitter page!