Written by Martin Allen, directed by Dominic LeClerc.
Grammy Connor gets on Maria’s nerves by pointing out that she was out late last night. Well, she did wear her earrings to bed. Grammy asks if she was out with Tony. Geesus, none of your business woman! Tony comes by to bring Maria a Thomas the Tank Engine bookset for Liam Jr. noting that he may get a chance to read them to him when he’s older. Oh no! Another hint my terrible view of Liam Jr.’s future might come true! (where Tony is his father figure whom he adores his entire life like a father, until the day he finds out that Tony killed his REAL father). Mammy Connor tells Tony that they’ve no plans to go home at the moment.
Mammy Connor once again hassles Maria over her and Tony’s relationship. That woman has some nerve. Mammy Connor KNOWS that Tony’s up to no good, and something strange is going on. Come hell or high water, Mammy Connor wants to protect that baby. Good luck! Maria complains to Tony about it, and Tony tries to tell her to ignore them. Not. Really. Working.
Barry Connor pops into the Rovers to have a jovial chat with Betty. See, she’s very chipper today folks, so I guess she’s not so “Ugly Betty” after all. Just takes a silver fox to come along to turn her frown upside down I suppose. I didn’t realize that Tony still wore his wedding band. Tony lays it out for Barry: take your wifey and leave. Barry feebly defends them against Tony’s strong-arm. Poor Helen looked devastated when Barry told her that Tony threatened them that if they didn’t back off that they might never see their grandson again.
Helen marches over to Tony and lays it out for him: he’ll not be threatening them regarding their grandson. Tony tells her that she’s doing Maria’s head in and it’s his business, since Maria’s his friend. Helen accuses Tony of liking widows, or vulnerable women in general, because it makes him feel like more of a man. That’s a red button she’s pushed! Tony tells her to take her toxic tongue and her tubby hubby back to the land of beggorah and bejesus. He tells her life goes on, and asks her “Liam, who?” Scathing!!! Hell hath no fury like a Tony scorned! Poor Helen just bursts into tears after Tony saunters off. Oh, the poor woman!!! Poor her and poor Maria for terrible Tony coming into their lives and ruining them.
Helen warns Maria against Tony, that she has no idea what sort of man she’s getting herself involved in. She’s very right. This is her third red-flag against Tony now! Now it’s Helen warning her, before it was Natasha, and even prior to that it was her very OWN conscience! Helen gets vicious and accuses Maria of having Tony warming her son’s side of the bed. Maria’s had enough and opens the door and tells them to get out. Then she lets it out to them that their son wasn’t very “precious” at all, and that he was cheating on HER, but of course they can hear no evil about Liam and don’t believe her. They leave after her final insistence.
Audrey picks up Helen and Barry at the pub and tells them they’re staying with her. Maria calls Tony over immediately. Tony consoles Maria with an intimate embrace and a kiss on the forehead. Saved by the bell! Us from that awkward moment that almost led to a kiss, that is!
Jason and Tina are still on their house-hunt. Eileen complains about having to cash some, what she thinks rubbish, shares of her father’s. She also tells Jason and Tina that No. 12 Coronation Street is up for sale. How convenient! Heaven forbid they had to find a property off the street. Good thing it’s an affordable neighborhood.
Ashley decides to go ahead with his vasectomy. Real front page news here. Claire comes home from the hospital. Claire decides to tell Eileen that Ashley’s going for a vasectomy! She figures Eileen will find how sooner or later. Erm, HOW??? That’s none of Eileen’s business! Which Eileen clearly stated and is clearly written across her face. Eileen goes and tells Lloyd and Peter about the vasectomy gossip via sign language, making a scissoring motion with her fingers. Naughty Eileen! Peter lets the cat out of the bag that Eileen told them and Claire told Eileen about the vasectomy. Peter accompanies Ashley to the chopping block, making jokes about it all along the way. With Peter’s track record, maybe he should take the next appointment!
Ashley’s tell-tale heart is beating in his ear as he gets nervous and panics in the operating room. Ashley runs out and tells Peter that he just can’t do it. Peter tells him to get his clothes on, and they’ll get out of there. With a smirk on his face. Ashley doesn’t know how he’s going to tell Claire. He lies and tells Claire he had it done and feels guilty after she thanks him for going through with it.
Norris’ daily rant: junk-mail hypocracy. Ramsay continues to rub the trainers in Norris’ face. We get it. He likes the trainers that YOU bought him. Get over it Ramsay, you’re annoying now! Emily could take a shower in Ramsay’s sweat though, that’s how in love with him she is.
Ramsay’s slang word-of-the-day: chill. Oh, he’s bloody cringe-inducing sometimes. Frida thinks the same thing and admits to Norris that Ramsay gets on her nerves. Ramsay makes Frida feel patronized. That’s it! That’s the word I was searching for. Ramsay is patronizing. Norris and Frida spend the day making fun of Ramsay. Loved Norris “signing” a gun to his head with the thought of having a drink with Ramsay and co. later.
Well, it seems that Graeme has found someone to banter with in Roy Cropper. The universe is full of many different paths on many different journeys, and every so often, some of those paths intersect in a moment true perfect alignment. That’s what I felt I was experiencing watching Grame and Roy go on about cocoa.
Joe finds another moment to pester Graeme for his precious pills. Graeme says he can get him some for 50 quid. Joe is upset that his drug habit is turning out to be costly. Really? A costly drug habit? You don’t say… Oh, now the man attempts to grub money of his CHILD for drugs! For shame! He later found a more abundant (and unguarded) resource for cash in the form of Gail’s pocketbook. How can anyone honestly like this guy anymore now? First he treats Gail like garbage, uses her, now steals her money to buy drugs? He’s bad news bears. I wonder who’ll get the rap for stealing that money now? Speak of the David, he walks into the pub and notices strange tension between Graeme and Joe. How long until he exploits Joe’s problem for his own gain? Graeme tells David about him dealing prescription drugs to Joe. David just eats it up.
At the gym, Sean finds Leon talking to Jason and trying to get him to come out for a game with him sometime and quickly intervenes. How soon before he entangles himself in this web of lies? Jason is none-the-wiser, of course. Uh, oh. Looks like Jason had invited Leon to the Rovers without Sean knowing. Oh, I can already smell the poop hitting the fan, and its bad. Leon figures just that Sean is just weird and full of it. Leon spots Jason kissing Tina, and Sean points out that Tina is his “beard.” lol. Sean’s having a hard time convincing Leon that Eileen is a Jehoovah’s Witness after meeting her. Gambling, drinking, the lot. Leon accuses Eileen of being a hypocrite!