Decisions: Mon July 13, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

July 13 2009

Written by Jayne Hollison (7:30) & Mark Burt (8:30), directed by Ian Bevitt.

Fiz receives an engagement ring in the mail from John. How does he have any money left for that after his donation to the Rosie Webster grief relief fund? Easy, give her your Gran’s old ring. If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, what are Opal’s? You know, in Sir Water Scott’s “Anne of Gierstein” the protagonist has her soul trapped in a cursed opal and Shakespeare often used the opal as a symbol of inconsistency and unpredictability. Just putting that out there. Fiz still hasn’t mustered up the guts to tell Chesney about her engagement. Fiz shows Hayley her ring and admits she hasn’t told Chesney about her engagement yet. Hayley thinks she should arrange a proper wedding and not get married in prison. Fiz is worried that if she changes the dates, that John might go back on suicide watch. Um, is she completely nuts? John himself said he didn’t want to get married in prison. Fiz asks Hayley if she’ll be a witness at her wedding, but Hayley just can’t do it. She can’t stand by Fiz’s side as long as she’s lying to Chesney. Fiz lies to John, again, saying that Hayley was excited about their prison wedding. This just can’t end well.

Claire thinks that they eat too much red meat and feeds her men bran flakes for breakfast. And she calls herself a butcher’s wife! Claire says she’s feeling off lately, and that’s she’s changing their diets. Claire is quite moody lately and first decides that they should go for a holiday to Blackpool and books it before consulting Ashley. Ashley fears leaving Graeme in charge of the butcher shop since he makes so many mistakes! Once Ashley finally comes ’round to the idea of taking time off for vacation, Claire changes her mind and says she’d rather use the money to do up the backyard instead! Make up your mind woman! Claire has a fit when Ashley compares her to Sally Webster, thinking she wants to re-do the backyard to “keep up with the Jones’s.” Ashley is utterly petrified by her moodiness. At the shop, Graeme comes out of the back COVERED in blood looking like something out of a horror movie. Ashley sends him home, but to drop off some chops for Claire first. Over at Claire’s, Claire asks Graeme if she could pick his brain over ideas for her new backyard. Ashley returns home to find Claire and Graeme all sweaty from working out in the backyard and doesn’t look amused. Ashley tells Claire to get rid of Graeme, or he will. What is going on with Claire now?

Pam tells Molly she’s having second-thoughts about her date with Bill, since they’ve both sold themselves on exaggerated pretenses. Molly tells Pam she’s an idiot, and it was a stupid idea. Pam retorts that sometimes you have to be devious to get what you want in life. Oh, Molly doesn’t need telling that. It’s lunch-time and Pam and her hand-basket go over to see Bill. She casually asks Bill if he got any replies from his ad. He lies and says he hasn’t. She asks him if he’d like to go to the pub later, but he says he has plans. It looks to Pam as though he favours a date with a “successful business woman” than hanging out in the Rovers with her. (Aside: everytime somone on the show mentions “hot pot” I get so darn hungry!) Pam considers standing Bill up, thinking that either way he’s going to be disappointed. Happens that Bill has decided to cancel on the fancy-business-lady instead. Perhaps he DOES prefer to go to the pub with Pam instead? Bill catches up with Pam on the street as they head arm-in-arm to the pub. This budding relationship is so cute.

Over at the Old Rectory, Jack wants to go over to Connie’s place to see if his prize pigeon, Scarlett, is there since she hadn’t returned back to her coop. Only, Connie doesn’t seem keen on taking him back to her place and makes excuses not to. What could she be hiding? Was Tyrone right about Connie? The odds are unbelievably slim that Tyrone is right about anything, but I’m still curious nonetheless.

Sophie’s frustrated because Ben hasn’t returned her messages and she thinks he’s going to wait until their face-to-face to dump her. She’s probably right. Sure, he was cute and all, but way too goody-goody for a Webster girl. Even if she is the good Webster girl.

Kevin and Sally return from their romantic weekend all loved up. It looks like Kevin and Sally really rekindled their relationship on that special weekend away, melting pillow mints with their bodies and all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sally this in love with Kevin. She even pinched his bum in the Rovers! *how embarassing* Molly doesn’t look too happy about Kevin and Sally’s lovey-doveyness. Molly’s really been doing her hair up a lot lately. You can tell she uses a curling iron, which means it must take a long time to do. I suppose that’s for Kev’s benefit.

Connie refers to Jack and Tyrone as Tweedledee and Tweedledum. LOL. That’s a fitting description. Wow, Tyrone’s got some serious body hair. Where does the chest hair end and the head hair begin? Tyrone thinks Molly’s upset because Kevin took Sally on a nice holiday and they never go anywhere. Oh, Tyrone, this is painful.

Later in the day, Kevin calls off his affair with Molly. He just can’t do the guilt anymore. Molly looks at him with bewilderment. Kevin tells her she’s only been married a few months, she shouldn’t be playing away. Molly says that he’s the one who started it. Real mature. Molly says she can’t just turn off what she has for him. She begs him to reconsider.
Tyrone decides to surprise Molly with a two week holiday to Tenerife. Molly seems happy enough at the news, but then also somewhat devastated at the fact that Kevin had encouraged Tyrone to take her on holiday. Later, Molly confronts Kevin about sending her away on holiday with Tyrone. She’s not good with rejection is she? Kevin does admit that he still has feelings for her, and two weeks without her is like a life sentence. He says if they continue with their affair, his life is over. And well, he’s comfortable with his life. Hard decisions, people.

Sally comes by the garage later and sees that Kevin is having a bad day and tells him she’ll run him a bubble bath and cook him his favorite meal later. It’s the least she could do. How could he cheat on her?

Tyrone went shopping for his vacation and brought Molly back a silk dress, because nothing is too good for his Molly. How could she cheat on him?

Earlier, when Tyrone asked Dev to give Molly the time off for her holiday, Uncle Umed decided he’d take over for Molly and did a mock interview for the job playing the part of both himself and Dev. I couldn’t stop laughing at his imitation of Dev! “Why you want this jaaAAHB?” “Have you had any prACTICAAAAL EXPEEERIENCESSSS?” Good times.

Close Call: Fri July 10, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

July 10 2009

Written by Peter Whalley (7:30) and Mark Wadlow (8:30), directed by Duncan Foster

It’s Sally’s birthday and Rosie has spoiled her with diamond earrings, whereas Sophie has given her a simple cross. Rosie tells Sally that if she needs to do any shopping, she can use her car. When did Sally and Rosie become bezzie mates? Oh yeah, the money. Lie time. Kevin tells a whopper to Sally about there being some reunion in Bristol with some old mates on Saturday. Instead, he’s really seeing Molly for a secret rendez-vous. Sally’s more interested in her diamonds and cruising around in Rosie’s car like a big-shot than her husband. Kev books a hotel room for he and Molly, and makes a real rookie mistake! Putting it on your credit card? Who’s wife doesn’t read those statements? For secrets, only cash will do. I loved seeing Sally drive around in Rosie’s car singing along to the Pussycat Girls, “Don’t Cha.” Kev tells Molly the good news that he’s booked a room for Saturday.

Sally is getting ready for her party. OMG, what is Rosie wearing? Do her tops have a competition going about which one can show more skin? Why doesn’t she just give it up and walk around in a bikini all day? Rosie “Maneater” Webster is just slathering herself over Ben. What kind of woman hits on her sister’s man? Sophie freaks out and tells Ben to stay away from Rosie. Bill remarks to Kev that Sally looks great for her age. She really does! Kevin could care less though. For the record, I think Sally is more attractive than Molly, but that’s not why men cheat. Ben’s parents show up and Sally offers them a glass of wine, but the opt for a soft-drink instead. Sally sheepishly says she doesn’t drink much wine herself. Pfft, yeah neither do I! Auntie Pam shows up with some day-olds and a gift. Tyrone and Molly show up when Kevin leaves to get more booze. While he’s gone his mobile rings and Sally picks it up and it’s the hotel people calling back about that executive suite with the jacuzzi tub that Kevin wanted to order. Uh oh. Kevin comes in that instant and sees Sally talking on his phone, and who to. Sally is obviously suspicious. Everyone at the party is awkwardly silent waiting for an explanation. Kevin freaks out that she had no right to answer his phone. She asks what’s going on, and Molly tells her to think about it, that Kevin might be planning a surprise for her. Good save Molly! Sally just LOVES this surprise. Party’s back on. Molly tells Sally it was her who gave Kevin the idea of a hotel room stay and Sally is most appreciative. Molly’s not happy that Kevin just stood there catching flies and that she had to come up with an excuse for him. Kevin tells her that he’ll sort something out so they can spend time together. Sophie confronts Rosie that she’s had her fun with Ben, now she can pack it in. Rosie tells Sophie she’s just having a laugh, and not to threaten her. Sophie takes a big swig of booze! That’s not very Christian. Molly makes an excuse to go home early leaving Tyrone at the party. In the kitchen, Sophie dumps a glass of wine on Rosie’s head. Girl fight! Ben tells Sally that Sophie’s drank four glasses of wine. Sophie freaks out at Ben about flirting with Rosie and ends up pushing him away. Sophie and Ben fight over Sophie’s jealousy and Ben says he doesn’t fancy Rosie since she dresses like a hooker, well, a high-class hooker. Ben says he doesn’t go out with someone who gets drunk and gets into fights. Well, then he’d better walk away from this street now! Molly is alone at home and calls Kevin ’round. Kevin makes an excuse to leave and goes over to her place. Molly answers the door for Kevin and after a steamy scene filled with 90’s romantic easy-rock tunes, Kevin and Molly part ways. Kevin comes back home to a finished party. Sally comes goes into what a fantastic husband and lovely dad he is, and that she doesn’t say it enough. Guilty conscience anyone?

Jason and Tina try to figure out their money issues regarding buying a flat. Jason figures they could borrow money from someone and suggest Rita. Tina turns this idea down. David sees them embracing each other with a sour look on his face. David goes into the salon and gripes about Jason and Tina to Natasha. Something tells me his angst is far from over.

Kirk tells Fiz that he thinks Tony doesn’t want him over at Maria’s. He thinks that Tony looks at him like he’s useless. Kirk should be used to that look from people by now. Fiz fails to tell Chesney that her and John Stape are engaged to be married. Theresa finds out about this whole Stape-Rosie-Money thing and encourages Fiz to give Rosie’s car a whack with her paper. Fiz thinks this is a great idea and starts whacking the hood of the car several times. Chesney witnesses this and tattles on her to the Websters. Fiz later lies to John and tells him that everyone on the street is fine with their news, and that Chesney is warming to it. John wants Chesney to be his best man. John mentions that a lad in his wing is getting married in the prison. Fiz says she’d love to do that. John looks at her like she’s lost it. It’s not exactly the wedding every little girl dreams about. John thinks it’s a terrible idea, since he is going to be out of prison in a matter of months, and would like a proper wedding. Fiz says she can’t wait that long, she wants to marry him as soon as they can arrange it. Fiz comes home to find her dinner on the table with a sorry note.

Over at Maria’s, Kirk is coddling baby Liam. Tony thinks that Liam’s parents don’t want to see Tony there when they come. Maria thinks they have nothing to hide, he should just stay. Tony’s not having it, back to the flat for him when Ma and Pa Connor arrive. Tony brings Natasha over to Maria’s to give Maria a 1-2-3 makeover before Maria’s guests arrive. The Connor’s arrive and Maria re-introduces Tony and tells them how Tony delivered baby Liam. Liam’s parents think that Liam Jr. is the spit of his father. Tony stops in to get his electric razor and tells Maria he misses them both already. Liam’s mom quizzes Maria over her and Tony’s relationship. Maria contests that they are not an item, but Liam’s mom says she should be careful then because Tony is carrying a torch for her. Maria looks thoughtful.

No Going Back: Wed July 8, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

July 8 2009

Written by John Kerr, directed by Duncan Foster.

Gail is making excuses for Dastardly David again. Even when he spits insults at her. The woman is a masochist. *Sigh* Once again, Dastardly David is acting like a spoiled brat and and Gail fauns over him. David goes into the yard and sees Graeme in Sally’s yard and asks what he’s doing there. Graeme says he’s clipping Sally’s shrubs and it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it. Yeah, especially since Kevin’s not around to. I hope Sally doesn’t pull a Desperate Housewives and have an affair with the “gardener.” That has more creep potential than Molly and Kevin. Graeme suggests the basic cure for a broken-heart: get bladdered. David prefers to soak in his misery to the sounds of “One Day Like This,” by Elbow. The first cut is the deepest.

Well, well, well. Doesn’t Jason Grimshaw suit up nice? I’m surprised he even owns a suit! Tina kisses him goodbye and good luck for his bank meeting outside the Kabin. Gail sees this with a smarmy look on her face. I suppose that she doesn’t approve of them showing their love in her precious son’s periphery? On the contrary, Gail tells Tina she’s happy for her and Jason. Really? Later, alternate-dimension Jason comes back from the bank and tells Tina they didn’t get approved. They need 25 thousand down that they haven’t got. David watches them walk away together from his second-storey window. Have we really see the last of this?

Maria is unsure about motherhood, but Tony and Audrey try to convince her that she’ll be a great mother. Maria’s still deeply saddened over Liam’s passing, and Liam Jr. is only bringing those feelings on stronger. Poor Maria! Time heals all wounds. Well, fortunately and unfortunately, at least it dilutes memories.

Pam tells Molly that she’s got a date with Bill, only he doesn’t know about it. Well, he does, but he doesn’t know it’s her he’s got a date with. What a conundrum! Pam wants Molly to call Bill to arrange their date so that Bill won’t recognise her voice and run for the hills. I hope Billy-Boy likes surprises. The date is set!

Sally is unsure about how much wine to buy for her party. She doesn’t want Ben’s parents thinking either that they are stingy or have a drink problem. There goes our Sally, keeping up appearances. I’m going to start nicknaming her Hyacinth. With a pat on the bum, Sally tells Kevin he can get her something expensive for her birthday to make up for spending her youth.

Molly and Kevin complain about their lack of love-nest. Then a light-bulb flashes in Kevin’s head. He tells Molly to get into a customer’s car and to keep her head down until they’re well out of there! I hope that wasn’t meant to be dirty. The owner of the car that Molly and Kevin are currently adultering in comes into the garage demanding to know where her car is. Tyrone doesn’t have an answer since Kevin won’t answer his phone. Tyrone insists that Kevin has probably just taken her car for a test drive. More like tryst drive! That very car is currently under an overpass somewhere with Molly and Kevin sat in it. Molly asks Kevin where he found the place and whether he’s taken other women there. Seriously, it’s an underpass! There’s probably a body dumped under there by some mobsters too. Dead romantic. Molly and Kevin steam up the windows fairly quickly. I’m picturing the scene from Titanic in my head, only not quite. *shudder* They’re just in the grips of passion when there’s a knock at the window. It’s the po-lice! Busted!!! Kevin and Molly escape unscathed by the police and return back to the street. Kevin drops Molly off in some back street, so they won’t be seen together. I can’t help but notice how this scene parallels with that one of John Stape (older man) dropping Rosie Webster (younger woman) off in a backstreet in the same fashion for much the same reason. Molly doesn’t look anymore pleased than Rosie did. Irony, you have got to appreciate it. Kevin later buys Molly some chocolates to make up for it. Kevin also offers a night in a hotel that weekend, just the two of them. In a moment of spontaneous passion, Kevin whisks Molly into the back room at the shop to make-out. Molly reminds Kevin that if they go through with this, there’s no going back. Understood.

The Heartbreak Kid: Mon July 6, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

July 6 2009

Written by Joe Turner, directed by Duncan Foster.

Tony is fixing up Maria’s place to the sounds of “Boy Does Nothing”, by Alesha Dixon on the radio. How ironic… Luke congratulates Tony on the birthing with a cigar and asks him how it felt. Tony said delivering the baby was magical, even a tug at the heart. Good thing he hasn’t got one. Maria is scared to take the baby home, but arrives home to see her place all done-up courtesy of Tony. Maria has visitors over later, but Tony shoos them away. He’s very protective. Or possessive and controlling. You decide.

Oh dear lord, Eddie’s in a tank-top in the cab office. *shudder* Is it someone’s specific job down at ITV to make him look as repulsive as possible? If there is, they’re doing a bang-up job. So Anna and Eddie are NOT married after all. Apparently, she’ll take his name and bear him a son, but she won’t go through with the rest. Anna tells Eddie he’s embarrassing her in the cab office. Oh please, when isn’t he embarrassing? Eddie threatens to get her down the aisle one day. With a shotgun?

Sally decides to throw herself a birthday party for a “select” group. She is eager to invite Ben’s mom and dad. Oh, they must be well-to-do then if Ms. Priss has decided she must impress them. And why is Sally planning her own birthday party? Kevin’s a crap husband lately.

It would seem that Pam now dispenses advices with every sandwich sold. She should call her business “Dear Sarnie.” She tells Tyrone the doghouse-dodger to cook Molly a meal to make up for being a disappointment the other night. Oh, bad advice. He should just take her out to dinner. When my man decides to be romantic and cook for me, it always ends in something inedible and me having to clean and entire kitchen from top to bottom from all the mess left. Real romantic. Women just love more cleaning. Connie and Jack are laughing at Tyrone tearing up whilst cutting onions. Onions get me every time! Sometimes I don’t even eat them, just out of spite. Oh, ugh. Molly and Kevin sweet-talk over fantasizing about each other in their heads. You know, when I was young, I used to wish I could read minds. What was I thinking??? The filth I’d have to endure! Poor Tyrone has burned his Moussaka. Tyrone’s efforts with Molly go up in smoke.

Meanwhile, Bill peruses the Lonely Hearts section of the paper and answers an ad. Elsewhere, Pam is seen checking her messages and it’s Bill’s message she hears. This plasters a smile on her face. Gee, didn’t see that one coming.

Rosie scoffs at the old-lady knickers that Underworld produces and suggests to her partners that they need to develop a line of knickers for the younger women. That way if they get the younger women buying, eventually in time, they will be older women and still be buying items from the brand. Knicker brand for life kind of idea. This is a solid strategy. It works for the cigarette companies! I’m quite impressed with Rosie’s ingenue on this one. She’s turning out to be not just a pretty face. Well, baby-steps, I know.

Sean is working hard at the gym these days. Urm, I mean hardly working. He’s hoping to soak his extra fat off in the Jacuzzi. Oh, Mr. Hot Stuff from the other day comes and joins him in the jacuzzi. A bit of small talk later and Sean is elated to find out that Mr. Hot Stuff is indeed gay and is newly single to boot! Then he goes and spoils it all by telling Hot Stuff that Jason and he are an item. Oh, how this will blow up in his face later. Oh Sean! Where’s your life coach when you need her?

Joe’s still poppin‘ pills. Graeme tells him that there’s a stronger pain killer than what he’s got out there. Joe is interested and later asks Graeme to get some of those pills for him. How pathetic. It amazes me how fast Joe McIntyre went from hero to zero.

Finally, David admits to Jason that he had Windass sent down just to get him out of the way so he could pursue Tina again. He says that Tina still loves him, she just hasn’t realized it yet. Jason looks sick to his gut. Jason tells Tina this, and Tina freaks out calling David deranged. She’s just realizing this now? Is she new here? Tina confronts David and rubs it in that she’s chosen Jason over him, and that she’ll never ever be with him again. David loses it and runs over to the builders yard looking for Jason. He is up top the roof and sees Jason down below coming out of the van, so he starts chucking things at Jason. All and sundry watch David throttle items at Jason who is bracing himself behind the van. What a menace! David and Jason are restrained from fighting each other while Tina tells David that she’s sorry, but she’ll never be his girlfriend again. David runs off looking devastated as Gail calls after him. This scene just further ignites tension between Gail and Eileen. I love how it took two men to hold Jason back, but it only took one ailing octogenarian to hold David back. Ha ha.

David finally returns home to a worried Gail and Ted. He looks really devastated, just about to burst with a lump in his throat that’s probably the size of his ego. Oh, I feel bad for him all the sudden. I’m such a sucker! He tries to put on a brave face for Gail, but as soon as she leaves the room, the floodgates open and David cries on his Granddad’s shoulder.