Waltzing Matilda: Mon Aug 31, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 31 2009

Written by Damon Rochefort, directed by Duncan Foster.

It’s the day of Claire’s fete and the street is awash with colourful balloons, stands, banners and happy faces.  Claire’s got her headset on, and she’s rearing to go.  Pam reminds her that it’s a street party, not the G20.  lol.  Joshua Peacock is dressed as Batman for the fete.  Claire reminds him that “with great power, comes great responsibility.”  Erm, that’s Spiderman, Claire.

Claire comes around to peddle her raffle tickets to Ryan, Sian and Ben.  Why is Ben still around?  Didn’t Sophie dump him?  Not that I’m complaining or anything.  It seems that teenagers aren’t interested in old boxing gloves, a train hat and whistle, OR tickets to the pencil museum.  Go figure!

It seems Tony has donated some random sewing supplies from Underworld to the fete, and the factory girls are there to hand it out.  Claire reminds them that DVT is a very good cause.  Kelly remarks that she got DVT when she came back from holiday in Tenerife.  Claire asks her if she’s sure that’s what she got.  Kelly was mistaken, it seems she had some other acronym.  *shudder*

Simon and Joshua find Claire busy counting raffle money and Simon informs her that Josh’s mouth is hurting him.  She whisks them away, after Joshua’s insistence that it hurts.  Ashley comes by at that moment to tell Claire he’s got something important to talk to her about.  Claire tells Ashley if it’s not street-fair related, it’ll have to wait.    Simon and Joshua go visit Underworld’s booth, and Joshua tells Janice that his mouth is hurting.  Simon tells Janice that there was a bee in Joshua’s pop and it stung him on the mouth.  Josh all the sudden passes out on top of Janice.  Janice is holding an unconscious Josh and yelling for Ashley and Claire.  Ashley calls an ambulance.  Janice tells them they have to keep Josh warm and to put him in a recovery position.  The paramedics arrive in due time and take Josh away.

At the hospital Claire is panicking still over Josh’s situation and Ashley tries to calm her down.  Little Josh is awake and tired lying in a hospital bed.  Claire thinks about what could have happened to poor Josh if Janice hadn’t been there.  Ashley returns to the street, and lets Janice know that Josh is okay, thanks to her, and gives her a big hug.  The doctor said Josh could have died if Janice wasn’t as quick off the mark.  Janice admits to Kelly later, that saving Josh’s life was absolutely terrifying, and what if she’d done something wrong, how would she deal with it?

At No.2, Norris is tightly rationing out the sherbert lemons for the fete.  It’s prickly tension between Norris and Emily now.  Poor Emily, looks like she hasn’t slept a wink in over a week.  Can’t imagine that, me.  Emily hasn’t heard from Ramsay yet, Rita assumes he’s tried from his trip.  Emily and Rita ask for Norris’ help carrying out their items, but are declined.  Rita says it all when she tells him that he’s a miserable so-and-so.  You fill in the blanks.   Norris is occupying himself with the important business of shining his shoes, and scrubbing the skirting?  There’s a knock at the door and Norris opens it to find two officers stood on his stoop.  What could they possibly want from Norris Cole?

Norris is sat alone at the dining table looking pensive and shocked.  Whatever could be the matter now?

Over at the pub during fete, Emily looks around and remarks that Ramsay would have loved it.  Emily wonders aloud if she was foolish not to tell Ramsay how she felt.  Yes, she was.  At her age, opportunities don’t come by very often, you’ve got to grab ’em.  Emily blames Norris, that Ramsay’s gone.  Well, that’s playing the victim.  She could have put her foot down, as she should have.  Emily wipes a tear, as Rita goes off to check on Norris.  Rita repeatedly knocks on the door of No.2, and Norris is sat on the chair not responding.  Rita makes her way in through the back door, and yells at Norris for not hearing her knocking.  Norris just sits in silence, like a spare part.  She asks if Ramsay has phoned but Norris says no.  Rita goes into him about how much Ramsay meant to Emily and how he could just have sent him away.  Norris all the sudden blurts out “Rita, he’s dead.”  Norris says that the police told him that Ramsay was dead when he arrived on the plane in Australia.  Oh no!  Rita takes a seat and tells Norris she’s sorry.  Wow.  They don’t know how he died, just that he was dead on arrival.  Norris asks Rita if she can be the one to tell Emily.  Rita agrees to this, poor Emily.

Rita goes into The Rovers and finds Emily.  She tells her she has awful news, that Ramsay has died.  Oh, poor Emily!  How heartbreaking.  At home, Norris tells Emily he’s sorry for her loss.  Emily reminds him that Ramsay was HIS brother.  It appears that the police left a note with a contact number to phone for more information about Ramsay’s death.  Norris hadn’t even picked it up yet.  Emily tells him scathingly that she hardly even knows who he is anymore.  He’s the same old git he’s always been.  Emily calls the number on the paper, and finds out that Ramsay died of a brain tumor.  Apparently Ramsay knew, since he had medication for it.  Emily accuses Norris of spurning the outstretched hand of a dying brother.  Emily asks Norris if it would have made any difference if he knew that Ramsay was dying.  Ramsay says he was sorry that Ramsay died alone.  Emily tells Norris that Ramsay visited his mother’s grave every week with flowers and some conversation, which is more than Ramsay ever does.  Norris leaves to get some air.  After some time, Rita wonders where he went.  Rita thinks that this has hit Norris harder than he ever thought.  Emily is very bitter about Ramsay’s death.  Rita reminds her that Ramsay didn’t find Norris, but he did find her, and that relationship must have been valuable to his last months.

Little Simon’s dressed as a superhero while Blanche witters on about her less-than-thrilling horoscope.  Blanche mistakes Simon’s “Robin” costume for a pixie costume.  Blanche asks where his wings are.  lol.  Deirdre asks Blanche if she’s going to the fete for Claire’s support group.  Blanche scoffs at “support group” and says that in her day, when something bad happened, you stayed at home, got drunk and bit on a shoe.”  Yeah, that’s pretty much what I do.  Minus the shoe bit, however.

It seems that Blanche is feeling enterprising today, so she’s set up her own fortune telling booth inside No.2, titled “Gypsy Rose Hunt.  Fortunes Read.  3 pounds a go.”  LOL.  Blanche has turned the terrace house living room into the inside of a a Moroccan tent, dressed in garb and a bejeweled turban with Simon as her little helper.  Oh, my word.  Blanche is reading Kelly’s fortune and sees that there will be fellas, many fellas, especially if she keeps dressing like a tart.  Haha.  Blanche says the spirits always tell the truth.  Next up: Graeme Proctor.  Deirdre needs a big drink!

Kevin’s getting ready for his race.  Sophie is going to make sure he actually finishes the race.  So apparently Luke took Rosie to a posh race meet in Cheshire.  They’re still together?  Kevin reckons the event is full of big snobs in big hats.  Kev and Sophie pick up Molly to go to the race.  Runners, on your mark, get set, go!  After an awkward photo-moment taken by Sophie, Molly and Kev are off!

It’s the end of the race, and Sophie cheers when she sees her dad cross the finish line.  She’s clearly amazed that he’s actually done it!  Sophie tells her dad she’s proud of him, and then runs off to get to the street fete.  Kev says he’ll wait for Molly.  Here comes Molly shortly behind, and Kevin hugs her and squirts water in her face!  That was inappropriate!  Molly looks at her phone and sees Tyrone’s calls, but says that he’s canceled, as usual.

Meanwhile Tyrone is sat at the fete drinking pints wondering where Molly is.  You have to love Jack’s makeshift bonnet!  I think I wore this fashion as a toddler.

OMG!  Kev and Molly are together in a hotel room sipping champy all cosy under the covers!  When did THIS happen?  Great to see that this is back on.  That was sarcasm.

A sad ending as Emily listens to “Waltzing Matilda” as a tribute to Ramsay Clegg, and Norris visits his mother’s grave, and noticed Ramsay’s flowers there with a note.  Norris finally shows his humanity and breaks down and cries, with the rest of us.  Ramsay Clegg, 1934-2009.

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Lost Belongings: Thu Aug 27, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 27 2009

Written by Chris Fewtrell, directed by Durno Johnston.

Roy stops by No.13 to inform Claire that the holiday to Paris he was going to donate has expired.  It’s strange to see Roy in No.13.  It’s like one of those, “Which one of these doesn’t belong?” puzzles.  Claire is clearly upset, since people bought tickets on the basis of that prize.  Wow, that’s a doozie of a problem now.  Roy tells her that he has something of equivalent value to donate:  an LNER whistle and cap.  Gee, doesn’t exactly have the same wow-factor as a trip to Paris, does it?  Heck, it doesn’t have the same wow-factor as a mop and bucket!  At least you can USE a mop and bucket.  Claire looks dismayed.

Claire is still upset about not having a grand prize, and has been calling around places all day to find a suitable replacement to no avail.  Ashley tells her that he’s donating his cherished boxing-glove collectibles.  Claire couldn’t be happier, but tells him she couldn’t.  Ashley tells her she’s more important.  Claire tells him that they broke the mold when they made him.  She tells him if there was a raffle for husbands, he’d be top prize.  Oh boy, when’s he finally going to tell the truth?

Eileen is having her tea quietly at home alone unawares that John the Parrot is staring down at her from the curtain rod.  Eileen’s watching TV when she notices that John is next to her changing the channels and spills her tea all over herself!  Eileen is petrified of the bird!  Eileen goes down to the builder’s yard and asks Jesse if he let his parrot out.  Jesse said that John needed an hours recreation each day.  Jesse thinks it’s encouraging that John’s being playful with her.  Eileen puts her foot down and tells him that when she’s at home, she wants that bird locked up.  She tells Jesse that she thinks he’s taking advantage of her, and if he’s not, he should come home to do so!

David’s still seething over his beating.  Gail asks David if he honestly believes that Jason beat him up.  David shakes his head no.  Well, not after last episodes revelation.  Gail tells him he needs to tell the police that much.

Enter David and Gail into Roy’s Rolls where the Windasses are spotted having their breakfast.  It’s like a wild-west showdown.  Where’s Jesse when you need him?  Gail and David promptly leave, and David tells Roy he’s just lost his appetite.  Anna Windass tries to be a peacemaker, and Gail submits.

At No.12, it seems that Joe has found the precious bracelet lodged behind the skirting.  They all realize it wasn’t David.  Not that that changes their opinion of him in any way, I’m sure. Jason got a call from the police and they’ve told him he’s off the hook.  He doesn’t know why and he doesn’t care why.  Tina and Jason celebrate by snogging in the street.  Of course, David witnesses this, as does Gary.  Gary asks him if it breaks his heart.  He then warns him not to rattle his cage in the future.  Threats don’t work on David.

It’s the morning-after (not what you think!) and Emily is presenting Ramsay with his hot breakfast on a platter.  She was going to bring a tray to his room even!  Emily and Ramsay are doubly shocked that Norris lent Ramsay his new pajamas.  They think it’s a great leap forward.  Norris comes in and says he’d been up half the night.  He remarks that he knew it was a mistake bringing the grocer to bed.  Ramsay is shocked and asks “Dev??”  No, not that grocer, the magazine.  LOL.  I can’t ever imagine Dev coming down those stairs and sitting down at the table for one of Emily’s fry-ups.  Although, it looks just tasty enough!  Screw Pam and her sandwiches, Emily could give Roy’s a run for their money!

Norris gets to work and tells Rita the same story about him up half the night with the grocer.  Rita kids him and inquires if it was Dev he was up all night with.  Norris confesses to Rita that he didn’t want to encourage Ramsay, but now that he’s moving on there’s no sense in being churlish.  Norris, churlish?  No way!  Ramsay comes in and asks Norris if he could meet him in the cafe later.  Norris agrees reluctantly.  This should be good.

Norris meets Ramsay at the cafe.  Ramsay guides a confused Norris over to Victoria Court.  Ramsay gives Norris a tour of one of the flats in Victoria Court that looks identical to Dev’s, although without Nina Mandel’s interior design touches.  Norris realizes that Ramsay isn’t going back to Australia and that he’s going to be living on his doorstep.  Oh my, it seems that Ramsay even wants Norris to move in with him and take residency in the second bedroom!  Ramsay claims he wants them to be a family at last.  Norris looks how I did when I first saw Molly and Kevin kiss.  Repulsed and confused.  Norris tells Ramsay that he’ll no more make his bed in that room than jump off the balcony.  Norris asks Ramsay if he’d really thought he’d move in there with him, in that soulless, brash and vulgar place.

Ramsay tells Norris that it wasn’t his fault that their mother had a heart attack and died.  Norris claims it was, since she was broken, riddled with shame.  Apparently, Ramsay is the product of Norris’ mother and a cinema organist who had taken advantage of her in 1934.  Ramsay said he wasn’t asking her to be proud, he just wanted acknowledgment.  Ramsay begs Norris not to turn his back on him as well as their mother had.  Norris makes it clear to Ramsay stating that he does not have a brother, never had a brother, and never will.  His family is dead.  Long dead.  Ouch!  I can just see those words cut like a knife through Ramsay’s heart.    Is it possible to die of a broken heart?

Norris saunters over to the Rovers where Emily and Rita are enjoying a drink and confronts her about stringing him up with Ramsay and the flat.  Emily says she knows about it and finds it to be an excellent idea.  Norris says of course she does, since there’s no point in having a “fancy-man” on the other side of the earth.  Well!  Norris accuses Emily of being a geriatric Holly-Go-Lightly.  Ramsay walks into the pub that moment to overhear Norris’ inappropriate comments and tells him that’s enough.  Norris tells him that he’s lucky to have those nice people around him, and to apologize.  The street isn’t big enough for the both of them, and Norris has decided to make alternative living arrangements.  How immature!  Ramsay tells the ladies he’s so very sorry for all of this and that Norris will never come around.

Later, at No.2 Norris tells Emily that it might take him time to find other lodgings.  Emily is quite cold to him (deservedly so), and tells him to do what he pleases.  Norris tries to apologize for the comments he made to her earlier, when there’s a knock at the door and Emily asks him to answer it.  It’s Ramsay, with his case packed.  Ramsay tells Emily he’s leaving for Australia that night.  Emily tearfully tells him that he can’t just to like that, where will he live?  Ramsay tells her he’s used to fending for himself.  Emily tells Norris that this is absurd and that a man Ramsay’s age can’t just go careering around the world just to save his feelings.  Norris disputes that it’s Ramsay’s choice.  Emily erupts and tells Norris that all of this is his doing.  Ramsay interjects and says it’s best that he go, and go quickly.  Ramsay asks for a family portrait before he goes.  Emily takes a polaroid of an enthusiastic Ramsay and a dismayed Norris.

I really hate Norris at this point!  I never really liked him, and now I really despise him!  Poor Ramsay, poor Emily, poor anyone who has to cross paths in life with this terrible cold-hearted man!  The “family portrait” above just sickens me!

Outside, Eddie throws Ramsay’s case into his cab and Rita and Emily bid him adieu.  They tell him that he’ll be terribly missed.  Ramsay asks them to look after Norris for him, then thanks them for their kindness.  Emily tearfully bids him goodbye.  Ramsay says not all is lost, for he has found kinship, only not where he expected.  Emily gives Ramsay a pendant to help him on his journey.  Ramsay says he’ll treasure it along with their friendship.  Norris comes out of the house to shake his hand and bid him goodbye.  And just like that, he gets into the cab and drives off the street and out of our lives, leaving a tearful Emily to be comforted by Rita.  How tragic it must be to have been searching for belonging your entire life, then to be in the December of your life and to have that belonging thrust back in your face to end up wondering if you’ll ever feel it in your lifetime at all.  That was one of the most saddest endings I’ve seen on this show in quite some time.  Perhaps since the death of Mike Baldwin.

Clegg Family Portrait

Clegg Family Portrait

Black Eye & Broken Heart: Mon Aug 24, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 24 2009

Written by Daran Little (7:30) and Simon Crowther (8:30), directed by Durno Johnston.

Norris notices Tina’s silence at work and tells her that Rita’s not the only good listener around there, she can tell him what’s the matter.  Yeah, only Rita keeps it to herself!  Norris thinks his “pearls of wisdom” could help her out.  Tina lashes at him accusing him of having no life of his own, and to quit prying into hers.  Is she nice to ANYONE?  Norris certainly didn’t deserve that.  Ramsay walks in and overhears Norris and Tina’s conversation.  Norris tells Ramsay that Tina’s right – he has no life.  He’s just an old man running a toffee shop, renting a room overlooking the bins, with no loved ones.  Ramsay seems gobsmacked (when doesn’t he?) at Norris’ confession.

Over at No.2, Rita, Emily and Betty are all having tea at high-noon and discussing the prevails of late.  Notably, Claire’s fete.  When Emily’s in the kitchen, Rita tells Betty that Emily’s down lately since Ramsay has decided to go back to Australia and Emily had hopes in that direction.  We (Betty, Rita, and myself) agree that it’s a shame.

Ramsay stops by later and Rita tells him if he leaves for Australia, he’s going to be very missed, by especially one person.  Rita is referring to Emily, but I have a feeling that Ramsay is thinking she means Norris.  Rita suggests that Ramsay take a gander over at Victoria Court for a flat.  Well, Ramsay finds the ladies in the pub later and tells them he’s found a flat there.  He can almost see Emily’s house from the balcony.  Ramsay feels like everything’s finally falling into place, like a giant jigsaw.  Emily couldn’t be more delighted!  They decide not to tell Norris about it, just yet.

At Emily’s, her and Ramsay are conversing about something when Norris walks in.  They tell him that he missed a caffuffle on the street.  Norris is clearly unhappy about that.  Maybe he should call Blanche and see if she videotaped it.  Norris wants all the gory details.  Later, Emily tells Ramsay she’d like to put some flowers on her Ernest’s grave and asks him if he’ll accompany her.  He says he’d love to.  You know, if Ramsay really doesn’t like Emily, he’s really leading her on!

At Ernest’s grave, Ramsay thinks it’s a good time to tell Emily about how terrible his orphaning “abandonment-banishment” to Australia.  He was told he was going on holiday, but was really just leaving to go to Australia forever.  He tells her illegitimacy is a terrible thing, like a skeleton in the closet.  Emily can’t believe how a mother could feel more shame for an illegitimate child, than she could feel love for it.  Ramsay tells her she should have seen his mother’s face when he returned, and she might get her answer.  That was the first time he’d met Norris, and Norris hadn’t even known of his existence.  Ramsay says he hopes he’s won Emily over, she says “completely.”  You had her at hello Ramsay, you had her at hello.  Ramsay said that when he arrived in Australia, he was worked like a slave until he was adopted, then that was better.  Emily thinks they can’t let Norris continue to punish him. Emily tells Ramsay that she misses Ernest to this very day.

Ramsay and Emily return home for tea and cake with Norris.  Emily suggests that if their game goes on late, that Ramsay can always crash on their sofa.  Norris doesn’t see a problem with that, since it’s soon to be farewell.

Claire is upset that she’s got nothing for the grand prize at the raffle for her fete.  Graeme tells her he’s got a collection of videos he could stick together if she likes, but they’re VHS.  Claire doesn’t think they’d be suitable.  Claire wants Ashley to donate his collector’s boxers gloves.  Ashley informs her that Roy Cropper is donating the tickets for that trip to Paris that Eddie Windass won posing as him back when, to the raffle.  Claire is elated.  Ashley’s racking up the points.  Too bad he’ll never have enough points for the secret he’s keeping from her.  Speaking of which, Graeme read Ashley’s text from Claire saying that she’s “waiting for him,” “waiting for him.”  Ashley exclaims that that’s not good!  Graeme can’t for the life of him understand why not.  Ashley lets it slip to Graeme that he hasn’t had the snip.  He tells him he buckled it, and is avoiding all situations.  Graeme notes that that’ll kill the mood as he chops a pork loin in half.

Claire’s waiting at home, all decked out in full lingerie that looks like it jumped right out of Rosie Webster’s day-wear closet.  She’s trying to glue back on the heel of shoe when Ashley walks in and sees her.  Uh oh!  It seems Ashley brought Graeme back with him.  As Claire struggles to cover up, she asks what he’s doing there.  Ashley says Graeme is working on the garden, and claims he didn’t get her text.  Claire runs upstairs embarrassed.  Poor Claire!  She reverts back to bad-mood-Claire and tells him he can give up his boxing gloves an’ all!  Ashley tells Graeme he wishes he was single and childless again.  Graeme says it sucks, he never gets any women.  Ashley says at least he gets peace and quiet.  Can’t argue with that!

Gail and Audrey are taking photos of David’s shirtless, battered body.  David thinks his beating was personal.  Gail tells Audrey that Joe is at a B&B because Gail trusted David’s word over his.  Gail says it crossed her mind that Joe had been the one who beat her David, but now she’s certain it had nothing to do.  Audrey gives her a cheap shot about men she dates harming her kids.

Joe arrives at Gail’s and sees the state of David’s face.  David accuses him of bashing his face in.  Gail tells Joe she can’t trust him, so she can’t believe him when he says he didn’t beat David.  Joe looks her in the eyes, and swears on his Tina’s life that he didn’t beat up David.  Gail says “okay.”  David has had enough, and storms out of the house into the street.  Tina sees David’s face and asks what happened.  David claims it was her father.  David asks her who else she thinks would do this.  Tina looks wary, and asks him what time it happened.  David puts two and two together and now he thinks Jason did it.

Eileen’s at the hairdresser’s and tells Audrey of her disappointment in Jesse for declining her invitation to move in with her.  Eileen tries to fool herself that she only asked Jesse to move in, to help him out.  Audrey tells her that she wants things to move on, and there’s nothing wrong with it.  Eileen’s having a dose of the “poor me’s.”  Eileen later finds Jesse in the pub, and tells Eileen that his mum’s chucked him out.  Jesse admits that he panicked when Eileen asked him to move in, because he feels he should have been more manly and been the one who asked HER to move in with HIM.  Jesse feels he has nothing to offer.  This all sounds a little Johnny-Come-Lately for me.  Jesse tells her he wants to be with her.  Eileen tells him to get his bags, and he says they’re in the van.  Oh really!

Tina goes to No.12 and calls Jason an stupid idiot and accuses him of beating David.  Jason claims it wasn’t him, but is glad that someone gave David a beating.  Tina tells him she doesn’t believe him.  If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d have thought David did this to himself for all the trouble it’s causing.  Jason is insulted that Tina thinks he’s the sort of bloke who jumps people, then lies about it, hits people from behind, so they can’t hit back.  Jason asks her why she’s with him, and if she loves him, she should start acting like it.  Jason tells her he’s sick of being in relationships that go nowhere, and thought she’d be the one.

David goes over to the salon and asks Audrey for a lift down to the police station.  He’s going to tell the police that Jason Grimshaw went to get him.

Gail and Joe have a talk, and Gail says that they’re at a crossroads, but she doesn’t want to finish with him.  She wants him around because she loves him.  Gail tells him that if they’re going to be together, they need to be building something.  Gail’s looking for a real commitment, or nothing.  Gail tells Joe that he’s not “him” anymore.  He seems like his old self to him.  Joe looks SO confused!  Joe wonders why it has to be so difficult.  Joe tells Gail she’s the one decent thing to happen to him in years, and he can’t lose her.  Gail suggest they pick up a couple of steaks and a bottle of wine to celebrate.

Later, Jason complains to his mum about how Tina thinking he’s a guy who jumps people.  Eileen convinces him that Tina thinks the world of him.  Just then, the police knock on Eileen’s door looking for Jason Grimshaw to arrest him on suspicion of assault.  Tina runs over claiming that Jason didn’t do anything, that he was with her all night.  Cue Eileen and Gail cat-fighting across the street again defending their sons.  Gail accuses Jason of attacking an innocent boy.  Oh, he’s hardly neither!  Eileen retorts that David hasn’t been innocent since the day he hacked himself out of Gail’s womb!  David gets out of Audrey’s car just in time to see Jason being taken away in a police car with a satisfied smile on his face.  Clearly, whoever beat him, didn’t beat him nearly hard enough.  Tina tells him that one day he’s going to cross the wrong person, and when that happens it’ll be more than a black eye and a broken heart.  Everyone’s arguing, and Eileen swats at David, and David shoves her shoulder, then Gail pushes her back and calls her a vicious cow, then Eileen slaps her arm and accuses her daughter of being a slut.  Wow!  That was one row!

Jesse moves in and brings his “best friend” with him.  His best friend John, his parrot.  Uh oh, John doesn’t like Eileen.  Well, I guess they’ll have to find someone else to be best-man at their wedding.  LOL.  Eileen can’t stand the parrot’s squawking and tells it to “shaddup, shaddup, shaddup!”  Jesse wipes his brow wondering what he got himself (and John) into.  Eileen wonders if they should have gone down to the station, but Tina reckons they’ll just ask him a few questions then realize he’s innocent, then let him go.  Eileen accuses Jesse of sloping off when she needed back-up the most out there in the street.  Jesse tells Eileen that John doesn’t like her.  Eileen says her son’s just been arrested and that she doesn’t care whether his parrot likes her or not.  Jesse thinks it’s a very bad sign.  Jesse tells Eileen that John’s due for his daily “fly-around.”  Eileen tells Tina to open the window.  Jesse spits back “don’t you DARE.”  lol. John is really cute though!  Jesse claims that John can always spot the bad ones.  People he doesn’t like end up being bad people, getting caught for bad crimes.  Eileen must feel great right about now.  Jason finally arrives back home, and says they’ve let him go.  But he doesn’t want to hold his breath, because since when did that matter?

At home, Gail asks David if he did threaten Tina as she claimed.  David says that he couldn’t have attacked himself, could he?  Audrey guffaws that she wouldn’t put anything past him.  Me neither!  Me andAudrey are on the same page here.  Joe arrives and comes back with bags from Freshcos.  Joe tells Gail that he got a job at a hard-ware store.  It’s part-time, but it’s still work.  Audrey can’t let Joe get ahead though.  Oh, meddling mothers!

Audrey goes down to the pub to complain about Joe to David.  Audrey says sometimes she’s never sure whether she should clip him ’round the ear or cuddle him.  He tells her neither, please.  David sees Jason and Tina enter the pub, and asks how they’ve let him go.  Jason tells him that there’s a thing called evidence, and they need it.  David tells them to go back to their derelict little flat.  Tina tells him that the flat might be derelict, but it’s theirs, and they’ve christened every room, so he can put that in his pipe and smoke it.  Oh he will, and it will be the slow burning kind…  Audrey tells him that this is why he gets beat, because he pushes it and doesn’t know when to leave things.  David’s afraid that Jason will jump him again.  Audrey assures him that he won’t, since he didn’t do it, and neither did Joe.  Audrey tells him he’s got enough enemies to pick from, lord knows who beat him.

Eileen refers to John as Gail Platt in the corner, just chipping in and disapproving.  Although, if it was Gail, she’d smother it.  LOL.  What a whiny bird that would be!

Hel-lo!  My favorite ginger man is back on the street!  David spies Gary Windass at the kebab shop and asks what he’s doing there.  Gary Windass tells David he’ll never get it back.  David asks get “what” back?  Gary answers, “Summer ’09.”  David tells him he didn’t miss much.  Gary says he met some good mates in prison, and he’s sure he’ll stay in touch with them.  Suddenly David’s face changes and he accuses Gary of beating him.  Gary asks when his battering happened.  David tells him last night.  Gary said he only got out that morning, so it couldn’t have been him, then winks at him.  How sly!  It was totally of the Windass doing!

Get Out: Fri Aug 21, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 21 2009

Written by Jayne Hollinson, directed by Pip Short.

Gail awakes to find breakfast laid out for her by Joe.  He was going to bring her breakfast in bed.  It did nothing to wipe that grimace off of Gail’s face, however.  Joe tells her he’s trying his best.  Well, Joe, clearly your best isn’t good enough!  Gail says it’s all too little, too late.  Gail tells him she just feels too wrung out by it all and she can’t trust him.  Gail leaves Joe hanging by telling him she’s “not sure” if they are together or not.

Jason and Tina have Eileen over at their new place to talk about the renovations when Joe shows up.  Joe offers up his help with their renovations, and it’s gratefully accepted.  Deirdre waltzes over to Joe while he’s unloading his van, to unload her baggage.  Are her and Joe mates?  Deirdre complains that she might get the chop, and Joe’s clearly uninterested.  As am I.  David can’t help but come over and help Joe unload.  Oh gawd, just leave him alone David!  While bringing the items upstairs into the flat, Tina’s bracelet was on the table, and got accidentally bumped off and fell under a crack.  David looks around the place and reckons that if this is their first step on the property ladder, that the rung must be rotten.  Joe mutters that he’d know all about rotten.  Zing!  Joe tells him he’s had his nosy, and to get out.

Tina and Jason come back to see Joe hard at work and Tina can’t find her bracelet.  Joe tells her that David helped him bring the tresses up, so Tina automatically accuses David of stealing it.  Tina marches right over to No.8 and yells at David and searches his things for her bracelet.  David proclaims his innocence.  David starts calling Jason and loser, and tells Tina that Sarah and Becky realized what a loser he was and so will she soon.  Jason has had enough and plows David against the wall.  He tells David to stay away from Tina.  Tina leaves but not before telling David that he’s the total loser, it just took her too long to see it.

Later outside, Gail asks David if he took the bracelet.  David told her that he just wanted to have a little nosy, but he didn’t take her bracelet.  It’s clear that Gail doesn’t believe him, and utters again “I WANT to believe you.”  David gets up and walks away in a sulk.

Joe comes home and further accuses David of stealing Tina’s bracelet, it ends in a fight with David leaving and slamming the door.  This doesn’t help Gail’s cause with Joe.  Can’t Gail ever get peace in her life?  Joe realizes that Gail is taking David’s word for his, and makes it clear he’s not happy about it.

David waits outside No.12 until Jason leaves and rings up pretending to be Jason, so Tina lets him in.  The little rat, what’s he doing now?  Tina tells him to get out, but David says he’s not going anywhere and neither is she.  That’s menacing!  Tina realizes that David has been spying on them.  He wants Tina to believe him that he didn’t steal her bracelet.  Tina tells him that their relationship was all bad, but David claims that what they had was special.  Tina tells David that she finds him scary and to just leave.  David tells her that she’s thick and he has no clue what he ever saw in her, then leaves.  Tina quickly locks the door behind him.

Joe comes downstairs with his bags packed and tells Gail that they need their space, and he’ll pack into a B&B for a while.  Gail says it should give them time to think.  Joe tells her he can’t believe that she falls for David’s crap, and that he gets away with everything.  Joe figures someone needs to take him in hand.  Gail tells him to just go.

Jason comes back to the flat and Tina warily answers the door.  Tina’s visibly upset, and Jason asks what’s up.  She tells him that David came ’round, and she let him in because she thought it was him.  Jason starts to freak out saying that he told David to stay away.  Tina says he didn’t do anything, just shook her up a bit, and that he’d waiting for Jason to leave before he came up.  Jason tells her that he had no right to come around there and frighten her.  Jason tells her that he’s going to straighten David out, then leaves.

Joe is parked outside Victoria Flats having a beer in his car.  When he said he was staying at a B&B, I thought he meant “Bed and Breakfast”, not “Back Alley and Beer.”

David walks down the street with a package in hand, when someone comes from the shadows and throws a bag over his head and pulls him into the back alley. Tina is pacing at home wondering where Jason is, when he walks in the door.  She demands to know where he’s been.  Jason says he hasn’t done anything to David, that he couldn’t even find him and he was just walking around.

Gail is at home watching tele when she hears the door open, and asks if it’s David.  She opens the porch door to find David in a heap on the ground with his face battered in.  Gail is shocked and picks him up off the ground and asks what happened.  I guess we’ll find out next week!

Over at the builder’s, Pam thinks that Bill needs to quit giving Jesse free storage space if he’s not bringing him in any business.  Bill doesn’t look happy with her trying to take control over his business.  Pam tries to help Bill out by telling him how he could make good use of the waste he creates in the builder’s yard.  Bill mocks her, but she claims she’s only trying to help him out.  It appears he needs it, as it would seem he’s in a bit of a hole.  Pam comes up with an idea to brand Bill as “Bob the Builder.”  Pam wants to dress him up like Bob the Builder and all!  Is this some kind of sick fantasy of hers?  LOL.  Pam says it’ll work, and she’ll put some flyers out and see what customers it’ll attract.

Jack and Connie walk down the street, and see Jesse walk by covered in…crap?  One of those random, funny scenes.  Jesse arrives at Eileen’s, and Eileen seeing the state of him, says “well, if it isn’t General Custard.”  LOL.  Eileen manages to get all the custard out of Jesse’s uniform.  Eileen wants Jesse to stay, but he claims that mother will be wondering where he is.  Mama’s boy!  Eileen tells him to tell his mother that he’s being seduced by that brassy blond she hates.  And this, is why we love Eileen.

Later in the Rovers, Eileen further encourages Jesse to put off his mother.  Eileen can’t stand his mother’s smothering.  Or his mama’s boy antics, for that matter!  Eileen tells Jesse that he should just move if he hates living with his mother so much.  Jesse says it would cost him a fortune.  Eileen offers that he move in with her.  Jesse says it’s nice of her to offer, but he’s not ready to commit yet.  That’s awkward!  Jesse fails at telling his mother that he’s a grown man over the phone.  Oh, this is disastrous.  Poor Eileen!

Trouble in paradise, as Tyrone and Molly drudge through the doldrums of married life: her making his tea and moaning about it, while he tries to defend his apathy.  I don’t know how Jack can stand it!  Tyrone accuses Molly of chickening out of the half-marathon and she’s not happy about it so she leaves.  Connie comes in, and Tyrone tells her he’s beginning to think she lives in a tent, she’s over that often.  Wow, he’s rude.  Is it just me, or is everyone just a degree more prickly on the street lately?  Liz, Claire, Molly and now Tyrone?  Jack tells Tyrone he should tell Molly he’s sorry, that he should know when to keep his mouth shut.  Jack would know.  Tyrone won’t give in and says that Molly “started it”, then stalks off back to the garage.

Tyrone later apologizes to Molly and tells her she can do the race because she’s great and can do anything she puts her mind to.  Oh, don’t encourage her too much.  Molly tells him he’s lovely and that she doesn’t deserve him.  It’s true, she doesn’t.  They see Kev, and Tyrone tells him that Molly’ll be training again.  Molly tells him she can train all on her own.  Tyrone walks away and Molly glares at Kevin.  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Kevin pops round the corner shop to get some cans and bumps into Molly.  He tells her not to be so sour, and she asks him how she expects her to be.  She accuses him of wanting to move to avoid seeing her.  He tells Molly that Sally’s his wife, and she has to come first.  Erm, or ONLY?

Jack tells Connie in the Rovers, that Tyrone and Molly need the place to themselves.  Jack figures he could move into a “home.”  Connie says she should turn her house into a “home” for her and her mates, so they can create a commune there.

Becky and Liz are trading rude remarks over their morning fags.  Like mother and daughter the two of them.  I wonder what Steve sees in Becky?  He probably has some kind of oedipal complex.  Liz tells Steve that he thinks that this might be a wild goosechase (looking for Slug), or a red-herring.  Liz thinks that Becky might want Steve to think it was Slug.  Everyone’s a detective now!  Liz later tells Steve she hope everything turns out all right, and good luck.

Steve gives out the flyers to his cabbies and Eddie promptly asks if there’s a reward.  Steve tells him he gets to keep his job, and Becky throws in a pint.  Eddie seems more than satisfied with that.  Lloyd asks after Liz, and Becky tells him she’s miserable and suggests he go over there and see her.  Lloyd goes over to the Rovers and asks Liz if she has a few minutes.  Liz doesn’t want to talk privately though.  Lloyd tells Liz that it’s like she’s in his head all the time.  Poor Lloyd, he’s even shedding tears!  Liz tells him all they had was a bit of fun, but Lloyd claims it was more than that.  Liz walks away from him in tears.  Poor Lloyd! Betty walks into the back room later to find Liz in tears and gives her a hug.  Betty tells her that if she’s that upset about breaking it off with Lloyd, to just tell him she’s changed her mind.  Liz says she hasn’t, that she’s too old for him.  Liz tells Betty that she thinks she’s going through menopause.  Oh, “the change.”  Betty tells Liz it’s not such a big deal.  Liz thinks it is.  She thinks she’s past her “used by date.”  Liz is really just worried about men not finding her attractive anymore.  Liz is afraid that in another few years, Lloyd could leave her for some floozie, or decide that he wants kids. Lloyd?  I doubt it!  How much has his life changed in the past 10 years?  Probably not a whole hell of a lot.

At the cab office, Steve gets a call from Eddie saying he thinks he spotted Slug at the Flying Horse Pub.  They’re on their way!  Eddie’s waiting outside doing his best “PI” look.  Well, Slug was there, but he had left without Eddie realizing.

Poor Deirdre, turns out she’s lost her job after all.  Betty asks her what she’s going to do now, but Deirdre has no idea.

Amber walks into the Kebab shop dressed in a feather boa with a balloon tied to her.  She says “Hiya gorgeous” to Darryl, but it’s Graeme who answers back “Hiyaaa.”  LOL.  Graeme asks if she’s drunk, and she says maybe a bit.  Amber’s been celebrating, since she got all her grades for Uni.  Amber’s happy that she’s going to Kings College.  Graeme informs them that he’s “in business.”  He’s now “Graeme Proctor: Garden Doctor.”  Graeme asks Darryl what it’s like to have an academic girlfriend.  Darryl says it’s irritating, she studies all the time and uses big words.  Graeme adds: and then they bug off to London.  He tells a sad looking Darryl that he could always go with her.  Wait, is this going to be the eventual end of Amber and Darryl?  Off to London?  Never to be seen again?  I’ll miss Amber if that’s true.

Amber comes back later and Darryl asks if she’s sorted her accomodations, and she says that she’s going to be staying in the halls.  Darryl suggests it might be better to get her own place, but Amber tells him that she couldn’t afford it.  Graeme interrupts and tells them that he’s got his new wheels and to come check them out.  Darryl suggests that he could come to London with her, but she basically declines his offer saying that his leaving his job, mum and mates isn’t a good idea.  Poor Darryl, that wiped the smile off his face.  Amber walks outside to see Graeme’s new rickshaw!  Where is he planning on gardening?  In Thailand?  Where do you even get something like that?  Amber humours him and lets him take her for a ride.  LOL.  It’s too funny watching that thing klug down the road.

Old, Not Daft: Thu Aug 20, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 20 2009

Written by John Kerr, directed by Pip Short.

Open to Liz applying her daily dose of slap at the table while Amy is eating her toast.  Liz throws cheap shots at Becky while Becky’s trying to get Amy ready to go to a mate’s house.  It’s clear that Liz thinks Becky’s going to get locked up, and thinks it’s for the best.  Becky refers to Liz as “mum” and Liz promptly tells her not to.  Steve tells Becky that he went to see Hooch last night.  She tells him she hopes he didn’t do anything stupid.  Oh, but he did.  Steve asks her to define stupid.  I will.  Stupid: lacking or marked by lack of intellectual acuity.

Steve and Becky try to narrow down the characters in Becky’s life that don’t like her, wondering if they planted drugs on her.  Steve brings up Slug, but Becky says no, he’s her mate.  Really?  Betty overhears this conversation with raised eyebrows once Slug’s name is mentioned (finally, we’re getting somewhere!).  Betty informs them that Slug was indeed in the bar that morning.  They ask her if she’s sure, and Betty assures them she might be old, but she’s not daft.  Steve angrily tells Becky that he’s going to pay her “mate” a visit?  But you’re going to stop at the bank first, right Steve?

Steve and Becky go out to wherever the cardboard box that Slug lives in is.  These two bozos go to the electronics shop that Slug or “Neil” claims he worked at only to find a man that works there named Neil that is NOT Slug.  Shocker!  Now the penny has dropped for Becky that it was Slug who set her up.  Becky’s shocked and appalled.  Funny scene between her and Steve when she apologizes for bumping him in the gut, and he apologizes for burning a fag hole in her favorite shirt.  She claims that he told her she did that when she was bladdered!  Steve runs away from her glare into the solicitor’s office.

Steve and Becky tell the solicitor’s that without Slug as a witness, no jury will believe it and it’s only speculation.  The solicitor doesn’t think it’s looking good for Becky.

Later in the Rovers, Steve has a talk with his dad Jim.  Has Jim lost weight?  He looks more trim that I can remember.  Jim suggest that Steve use his network and ask other cabbies for help in finding Slug’s whereabouts.  Jim’s like Dear Abby now.  Andy’s off and back to Spain.  Nice to seem him again, but we didn’t really get to spend any time with him, did we?  Jim gets himself off as well.  Jim and Liz say their goodbyes, and there’s a definite linger in Liz’s eyes.  Oh, those home fires are far from out!  Liz follows after Jim and tells him she can’t let him go without saying a proper goodbye and they embrace in one of those big hugs that you can only get from someone who knows you’ve spent so much time with.

Becky found a picture of Slug and gave it to Steve so he could have it copied and given to every cab driver in Manchester in hopes of getting an ID and finding his whereabouts so he can save his precious Becky from imprisonment.

Kevin convinces Sally to throw a sickie so they can both go up to Cheshire and look at homes.  Sally is shocked at his keen on Cheshire. Kevin and Sal hop into Rosie’s Roadster and boot it out of the street.  Molly sees them drive by happily and turns into Sour Girl once again blowing off Claire and Ashley.  Actually, maybe it was just talking to Claire that got her sour this time ’round.  Okay, maybe not.

Molly finds Claire and Ashley in the pub later and offers to buy them their drinks as an apology for how she acted earlier.  Ashley reckons he might be able to get Steve to donate a couple of kegs of beer for the fete.  Claire says that’s a wonderful idea, and that maybe Becky could sell some crack.  She’s turning into a mini-Blanche right before my eyes all the sudden.  Kev and Sal come in a Molly overhears them telling Claire and Ashley that they’ve been out looking for property in Cheshire. Claire reckons that Cheshire’s a bit expensive, but Sally tells her “maybe for some.”  Claire responds with “did you find any FLATS then?”  Oh! acid-tongue-junior strikes again!  Molly makes herself scarce to avoid Kevin.

Kevin and Sally return from an wasted trip, since they couldn’t afford any homes in Cheshire.  Sally figures that they’re in no rush to leave, and they’ve got everything they want there at home, on the street.  Kevin doesn’t look as keen.

Wow.  Joe comes down the stairs dressed to kill in a suit that just lights up Gail’s face.  Joe wonders when the last time was that he wore it.  David figures when he was in court.  It appears that Joe is on the job search.  And with a kiss, nouveau-Joe is off on his search.  David warns Gail that she should get rid of Joe now, or she’s going to regret it.  If she hasn’t already?  Gail (finally) asks him, “Why do you have to be like that?  What’s wrong with you?”  If only we knew Gail, if only we knew.

Joe sees Jason later in the street and tells him he’d like to put it right between him and Tina.  Joe says he’s back is good now.  Jason asks if it’s good enough for some heavy lifting and Joe takes of his jacket.

Tina later shows off a charm bracelet that was a gift from Jason to Norris in the Kabin, when who by David walks in.  Norris tells Tina that he hopes that Jason kept the receipt, because it obviously isn’t working.  That WAS funny!  David asks her if her bracelet was from “Dimshaw.”  Her charm wasn’t on when he was in, and David left in a fit as she wouldn’t speak with him.

Gail finds Tina and panics over Joe’s whereabouts since he never returned from his job search.  They look over to see Joe and Jason driving up in Joe’s van asking them if they fancy a ride.  Gail delivers one of her patented scowls and walks away in a huff. Later, Joe tells Gail that she just needs to trust him.  Gail tells him she doesn’t think she can.  She’s tired of sleepless nights, and can’t do it anymore.  David walks in and interrupts their conversation so Gail disappears upstairs.  David tells Joe not to go after her.  David tells Joe that he and his mum were better off before he and his daughter showed up, and that he’s not wanted there.  Cue one of Joe’s perplexed looks.

Ramsay and Emily come into the Kabin and Ramsay asks if he could possible use the shop computer.  Norris informs him that the Kabin isn’t a cyber-cafe.  I’m shocked he knows what that is.  Ramsay tells Norris that he wanted to look up some flights.  Norris says in that case, he can come right through.  Emily thinks Ramsay is making a mistake  by going back to Australia.  Or, maybe, that she’ll miss him if he leaves?

Norris wants Ramsay out of Weatherfield post-haste and suggests he take the first available flight.  Rita informs Ramsay that he’ll be missed by a lot of people, discounting Norris.  Ramsay, Emily and Rita make jokes about donating Norris in a raffle at the fete, and giving him away as the “booby prize.”  Rita tells Ramsay he should stop looking for flights, and start looking for flats since he knows in his heart he’d rather live here than go back to Australia.

Village Idiot: Mon Aug 17, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 17 2009

Written by Joe Turner (7:30) and David Lane (8:30), directed by Pip Short.

Open to DC Hooch awakening Becky in her cell.  Her makeup isn’t even smudged for someone who’s been crying her eyes out in a cell all night long!  The magic of television.  Hooch tells her he’s letting her go home on bail.  He also lies to Becky that Steve wants a divorce. Becky bails herself out and finds herself alone, until Steve walks in and the only thing he’s missing is a white horse.  Becky says, eyes rimming with tears, that they told her no one was here.  Steve tells her he’d been there all night.  He tells Becky he’s sorry, that he knows she was telling the truth.  Steve tells her that Hooch lied about him wanting a divorce.  Steve does a good deal trying to convince Becky of why he thought she could be guilty.  Not the best apology.  Becky warns Steve that she’s trouble and asks him if he’s sure he wants her.  He tells her he loves trouble.  Trust the man, Becky, he’s telling the truth.  He’s loved trouble way before you came ’round.  Becky tells Steve he loves her.

At the Rovers, Steve tells Liz that Becky was setup by Hooch.  Liz isn’t happy that their pub has been closed down because of the drug charges and is worried about losing business to their competition.  That’s a lot of cares for a business from a woman who abandoned it for the forseeable future just recently.

Lloyd shows up at the pub to have a talk with Liz. He asked her what happened to them.  Liz blames the breakup over her having a “midlife crisis.”  Liz seems like she is alright, she sobs and tells him how she doesn’t know who she is.  She thinks she’s rubbish at life.  Liz admits that she felt Steve and Becky were taking over the Rovers and didn’t want her around, so she jumped at the chance to go look after Andy.  She likes how warm and friendly Spain is and wanted to start over.  Can’t say I blame her!  Lloyd’s not really interested, he wants to know what any of this has to do with him?  What about him?

Steve brings Becky home and tells his mother that they will not be beaten, that they are re-opened and Becky will stand behind that bar, a million dollars.  Liz informs them that Becky will not be working in her pub.  Becky tries to assure Liz that those drugs were planted.  Liz doesn’t care, she wants Becky to hang her head low and stay out of sight.  Liz and Becky get into an arguing match over the drugs.  Liz says she saw the drug team take the drugs out of Becky’s bag and wants to know how they got there.  Becky accuses Liz of wanting her to be guilty.  Lliz tells Becky she doesn’t want her son being used by a dirty, disgusting, drug-dealing tramp.  WOW!  Those were harsh words.  If anyone can lay out an insult like that, it’s Liz McDonald!  Steve tells Liz to never talk to his wife like that again.  Becky tells Liz she wants an apology.  Liz tells her not to hold her breath.  What a nice welcome home.

Upstairs later, Becky fumes over Liz’s comments.  She says the second she goes down, Liz is going to find the sexiest bar-maid she can and shove her under Steve’s nose.  Steve assures her she won’t go down, since she’s innocent.  Becky admits that Liz is only saying what everyone’s thinking.  Steve assures her that one way or another, they’ll get through this.

The McDonald boys show up at Roy’s Rolls, and ask if there’s any news.  No one knows anything.  Roy is surprised that Jim, of anyone, is condemning Becky on reputation.  Andy says that he hopes Becky’s innocent.  Jim says he also hopes he’ll win the lottery this week.

Becky and Steve try to workout how Becky got setup.  Steve tries to accuse Slug, but Becky dismisses it.  Steve goes out on his own to try and sort the mess.  Good luck Stevey-boy!

Liz opens up and is afraid no one will come back to the pub.  Jim assures her that punters are creatures of habit and will come back, easy.  Roy and Hayley come by and ask if there’s any news at all.  Liz tells them Becky’s upstairs on bail and they go up to see her.  Becky tells Roy and Hayley how good it is to see them.

Steve is sat waiting outside the police station like he’s on a stakeout.  Steve spies Hooch coming out of the doors, gets out of the car and runs over to him and tells him he’s been waiting for him.  Steve asks Hooch what he wants.  Hooch tells him it’s just payback time from before when they lied.  Hooch says he’s sorry he didn’t get Steve as well, yet.  Hooch says that he’ll never get promotions because of Becky and Steve.  Steve gives up and asks Hooch, “how much?”  Hooch asks how much he’s offering.  Steve hands over an envelope with two grand in it, and asks if they have a deal.  Hooch answers with “every village has an idiot” and drives away.  Oh, lord Steve!

Sophie asks Kevin why he’s not training for his marathon anymore.  She says she blames Molly, since now that Molly’s away, he’s been on the couch like a layabout.  Sophie calls him a quitter.  Sophie finds a charity run for Kevin to run, but he’s not interested but tells Sophie he’ll do it for her.

Oh joy, Molly and Tyrone have arrived from Tenerife.  They had a great time on holiday, not that you’d know from Molly’s face.  She was just as sour as when she left.  Tyrone later tells Kevin that their holiday in Tenerife was like a second honeymoon.  Well, judging by the way Molly looked, I don’t want to know how their first honeymoon went!  Kevin stops by the back of the Old Rectory and asks Molly how she is.  Sour, that’s how.  Kevin tells her he’s doing the run, because of Sophie and it’d be best if Molly didn’t do the run, since it makes people suspicious.  Molly tells him she’s going to do the run, and he’s not that irresistable.  Why DO they have to train together?

Kevin goes home and finds Sally reading the property pages, daydreaming about places she’d like to live instead of where she is.  Oh, I do that all the time!  Kevin tells her they should take the car out and see what properties they can afford.  Sally is shocked since Kevin didn’t even want to walk across the road.  Seems like Kevin’s trying to get as far as possible from Miss Molly.  Sally’s all excited about the prospect of a move to greener pastures now.  What have you gotten yourself into now, Kev?

Molly’s back at home doing the washing and making Tyrone’s tea.  Don’t you hate coming back from holiday?  Tyrone shows up with “apology flowers” and tells her he’s sorry they rowed.  Tyrone asks her if she still loves him, she tells him of course.

At the Kabin, Norris gives Ramsay a reaming over losing clients thanks to his slow delivery speed.  Ramsay goes to hand Tina Norris’s mug, then fumbles, drops it and it smashes.  Norris isn’t happy abou this, to say the least as it was his mug and calls Ramsay a liability.  The man can do no right!  Ramsay tries to redeem himself buy giving Norris a new mug.  The new mug just won’t do as it doesn’t have the same memories.  How trivial is this!  Norris then decides that he’s going to have to sack Ramsay because he’s causing them to lose clients.  Norris tells Emily that he’s going to sack Ramsay.  Emily tries to reason with Norris on the issue to no avail.

In the pub later, Ramsay is pouring his charms on Claire Peacock.  Wow, arguably the two most boring characters on this show getting on in the pub, go figure.  Emily shows up with her posse: Norris and Blanche.  Blanche reckons she half-expected the pub to be full of “undesirables” no word’s out what’s on offer.  Liz tells her if she’s going to start, she can leave now.  Ramsay tells all how Claire has a good way to bring the community closer together with a bank holiday fete on the street.  Blanche retorts, “another way of getting money off of us, ya mean.”  That’s precisely the idea.  Norris sacks Ramsay, but Ramsay announces it matters not, since he’s going back to Australia soon.  This leaves both Norris and Emily a bit shocked. Emily tells Ramsay she’s so sorry that he’s leaving.  Ramsay says he’s given up on trying to win Norris over.

Blanche ponders later how it is that Becky could deal drugs without somebody noticing.  Norris suggests that maybe she wasn’t operating alone that maybe she had a lookout of sorts.  Blanche figures a pound to a penny, they were all in on it.

Tina admits to Rita that she’s upset over her father’s downfall.  She doesn’t like feeling helpless.  Rita suggests that Joe might need some tough-love.  Tina heads over to Gail’s and tries on some of that tough-love.  She tells Joe that just because everyone thinks he’s a junkie doesn’t mean he has to act like one.  Then accuses him of not getting out of bed and calls him weak and pathetic.  Joe is actually looking MUCH better.  Not sure if tough-love was the best action at this point.

Graeme seems to be growing on Ashley, since Ashley’s lending him one of Fred’s old gardening books.  Claire is going to her PND (post-natal-depression) support group to talk and help others out.  All sorts of people go…. Oh!  Where was I?  I nodded off for a bit there.  Claire comes by the butcher’s later and complains to Ashley that her PND support-group has been cancelled since there’s no funding for it.  Is Ashley supposed to fund this group as well?  Rita overhears and suggest they have a fundraiser, maybe some kind of fair.  How very 1927.  I don’t think they understand the complexities and scale of organizing even a small event such as this.  They come by Peter, and Peter asks Claire’s permission to take Ashley out later.  Lord.

Later at the Rovers, Dr. Peter tells Ashley that the problem with he and Claire is that neither of them are getting “any.”  Is that it?  They haven’t been getting any for a while then, by that logic.  Peter thinks that Ashley should support Claire in this fete, then when it comes time to tell her the truth, she’ll be more likely to forgive him.  Um, is Peter new here?  Has he not met Claire?  She’s hardly a reasonable woman!

Off With a Hitch!: Fri Aug 14, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

August 14 2009

Written by Joe Turner, directed by Tony Prescott.

Oh, happy day!  I just love Corrie weddings and I’ve been looking forward to Steve & Becky’s (2nd one) for a while now!

Starts out with Lloyd singing to “I’m a love man” and ironing Steve’s shirt while Steve stands around topless.  He’s definitely no torso-of-the-week!  You have got to love Steve doing a little jig to the song shirtless whilst talking on the phone.

At the police station Slug is waiting for DC Hooch. They meet later outside and Slug tells DC Hooch it’s Becky’s wedding day and he wants to see her go down as much as DC Hooch does.  Hooch passes him an envelope and tells him if he disappears with it, he’ll hunt him down like a dog.  Trust him when he says that, he seems to like hunting down people who have scorned him.  Slug (somehow) manages to sneak into the Rovers and places the envelope in Becky’s purse, then stashes it.  Betty seems him, but he pretends to be a customer thinking they were open.

Liz opens the door at No.1 to a familiar looking face.  It’s Andy!  And it appears that all that sunshine hasn’t done his skin texture any good as he looks about 10 years older than he should!  Oh look, I’m a poet and I didn’t even know it.  Senorita McDonald has got on one absolutely-fabulous outfit.  Suprise time for Stevey-boy.  Liz and Andy show up at the Rovers and nearly give Steve a heart-attack.  Family-hugs!  Liz tells Steve that she’s there to support him and Becky, not to start a row with Lloyd.  Lloyd finds Liz and confronts her wondering what is going on.  Poor Lloyd, this is so heartbreaking, but he should have gotten the picture a while back.  Liz should have broke it off with him when she left too.  Man, that was awkward!

It seems Hayley called the Rovers and heard Liz and Lloyd arguing in the background and tells Becky.  Becky starts to freak out since she’s invited Jim, and now Liz is coming!  Uh, oh. Becky steps out of Roys Rolls looking like showgirl barbie!  What on earth is that headpiece?  Becky tells Roy she feels a bit sick.  Roy tells her that she’s just nervous.  Roy calms her down out of a panic attack by telling her he felt the same on his wedding day.

At the church, Eileen and Jesse arrive.  Jessie is dressed in his cowboy’s finest.  He looks like a cattle farming millionaire from Texas circa 1981.  All are ready for the wedding ceremony to start, and all wondering if Becky will make it.  Then they hear a knock at the door, only it’s not Becky – it’s Jim!  Steve seems to be the only person happy to see him there!  I love how Jim calls Liz, Elizabeth.  Liz’s face is a picture!  That’s her karma for blowing off Lloyd in that fashion.  Well, Becky shows up!  Everyone hoo’s and ha’s at her in her wedding frock.  Liz tells her she looks fantastic!  Well, that dress is exactly Liz’s taste.  Steve is overjoyed that Becky fixed it so that his whole family would be there.  That was a nice moment.  Steve pulls Becky down the aisle as she proclaims “I love him when he’s gaggin’ for it.”

Oh, and we see the cake we’ve all been waiting for come out of No.6, two men carrying and all.  It’s actually quite lovely looking!  You have to love Eddie’s apron too!  There was a near-cake-death incident involving the cake and Fiz and Kelly on a scooter!

Becky and Steve are proclaimed Husband and Wife.  Becky needs to make sure, so she asks the registrar if she’s a real registrar, not just some woman escaped from the loony bin marrying folk for the fun of it.  Oh, that happens all the time, doesn’t it?  Steve swoops Becky into a kiss.  Steve and Becky take the car back to the Rovers for their reception, and stop to have a fag and a congratulations from Rita and Emily.  Steve goes to pick up Becky to carry her over the threshold, only he pulls his back.

In the Rovers, all eye the cake and Roy asks if Eddie made it.  Eddie says “with these fair hands.”  Anna comforts everyone by telling them he washed them first.  lol.  Steve puts his back into it and carrys Becky over the threshold into the Rovers where their guests are awaiting them.  After Lloyd’s heartfelt best man speech, Becky gets up and tells everyone she’s got an announcement to make.  How much do you want to bet everyone thinks she’s going to announce she’s pregnant?  Becky announces that she’s got a fabulous luxurious honeymoon in the Greek Islands!  Steve is so thrilled that he “fake motorboats” Becky’s chest!  That was an interesting touch!  At that moment a strange man walks into the bar and asks for the licensee.  Eileen points him to Liz McDonald.  Then members of the drug squad come in.  They have a warrant to search the pub it seems.  That puts a damper on a party!  Ashley is in agony to go to the mens, after five pints he’s bursting.  Why doesn’t he just run across the street and go at home?  Lloyd still thinks that Liz is with him, and tells Jim to stay away from her.  Jim thinks he must be on drugs, and tells him that HE doesn’t tell him what to do.  When Liz fantasizes about two men fighting over her, I’m sure that Lloyd and Jim weren’t what she had in mind.  Steve has to keep ’em seperated. In the next room, the drug squad is going through Betty’s purse and her entire pill repository.  Maybe Joe should have checked old ladies purses before breaking into the Medical Center.

The drug squad finds Becky’s purse behind the bar and it’s got drugs in it.  Becky denies those drugs are hers and this is a setup.  Becky gets arrested on suspicion of dealing drugs.  All she can do is cover her ears with her hands and wail “make it stop, make it stop, make it stop” while the whole wedding party watches her get taken down on what should be the best day of her life.  Steve is doubtful of Becky’s protests and asks her how she paid for the honeymoon.  She tells him she won a contest, to ask Hayley about it to check that it’s true.  Steve doesn’t believe her and tells her he could have afforded a honeymoon, there was no need for her to do this.  Steve says he knows it looks bad, but he’ll get her a lawyer and stick by her, and they’ll see what they can do.  Becky begs him to believe her.  He tells her he’ll stick by her, whatever she’s done.  She tells him to stay away from her, that she doesn’t need him.  Poor Becky sobbing in the back of a cop car in her perfect wedding dress on her not-so-perfect day.  Perfection is overrated anyway.

In a dark alley some where, Slug tells DC Hooch he’s done the job.  DC Hooch gives him his payment and tells him to leg it out of town.

It seems that the drug squad tore apart Eddie’s cake, since there might be drugs in it.  Eddie and Anna aren’t happy with that!  Steve tells his family later that he had a feeling she was up to something.  Liz tells Jim and Andy that Becky’s got a colourful past.  Roy and Hayley are sat in the corner and feel they should do something.  Roy thinks that Steve should be supporting his wife, not drowning his sorrows.  He doesn’t know if Becky was selling drugs or not, but he’d still stand by her.

Steve tells his family that he didn’t understand why she did it.  She didn’t have to get a fancy honeymoon for him.  Natasha overhears and tells Steve that Becky didn’t buy the honeymoon, she won it.  Natasha confirms that she saw the magazine that the contest was in.  Liz thinks that Steve should get the marriage annulled, so he can get out of her mess.  Steve doesn’t want to get out of Becky’s mess.  Liz says that Becky comes from the streets and that’s where she belongs.  Wow, that was harsh!  Roy and Hayley interrupt and tell Steve that they feel Becky shouldn’t be on her own right now, so they’re going to go down to the police station and see if there’s anything they could do.  Steve says that’s his job and leaves with Lloyd for the police station.

At the police station, Becky is going through the motions and DC Hooch shows up all the sudden the penny drops for Becky.  She accuses him of setting her up, and on her wedding day.  Steve and Lloyd arrive but they can’t get any news on Becky.  Steve sees DC Hooch at the station, and asks what he’s doing there.  Steve’s not as quick as Becky.  DC Hooch tells Steve he’s “putting things right.”  Steve realizes now, that DC Hooch set her up.  DC Hooch reckons Becky was guilty last time, but got away with it and that the wheel of justice has come full circle.  Steve tells DC Hooch that he’s going to fight him every step of the way.

Michelle arrives at Maria’s to apologize and pick up her stuff.  Michelle says she just needs time to get used to everything.  Michelle encourages Maria to call Michelle’s parents and tell them what’s going on.  Maria is scared, but Michelle reminds her that she once called her mom when she was 15 to tell her she was pregnant, and she survived.  Yeah, just look at her now!  It seems Michelle has taken over the phone conversation, and set her parents straight.  Tony made Maria a sandwich with pickles in it, and she’s suprised by this.  He tells her he bought them.  She says that his pickles should be in her kitchen.  Hrmm…take that for what you will.  Tony asks if she’s saying that he should move in.  That’s QUICK!  Maria says if that’s what he wants, he agrees and says all he needs in two hours.  He’s probably living out of his car at this point in time he’s over there so much!

On the street Kelly witters to Fiz about how good Becky’s got it, and it should have happened to her.