Written by Daran Little (7:30) and Simon Crowther (8:30), directed by Durno Johnston.
Norris notices Tina’s silence at work and tells her that Rita’s not the only good listener around there, she can tell him what’s the matter. Yeah, only Rita keeps it to herself! Norris thinks his “pearls of wisdom” could help her out. Tina lashes at him accusing him of having no life of his own, and to quit prying into hers. Is she nice to ANYONE? Norris certainly didn’t deserve that. Ramsay walks in and overhears Norris and Tina’s conversation. Norris tells Ramsay that Tina’s right – he has no life. He’s just an old man running a toffee shop, renting a room overlooking the bins, with no loved ones. Ramsay seems gobsmacked (when doesn’t he?) at Norris’ confession.
Over at No.2, Rita, Emily and Betty are all having tea at high-noon and discussing the prevails of late. Notably, Claire’s fete. When Emily’s in the kitchen, Rita tells Betty that Emily’s down lately since Ramsay has decided to go back to Australia and Emily had hopes in that direction. We (Betty, Rita, and myself) agree that it’s a shame.
Ramsay stops by later and Rita tells him if he leaves for Australia, he’s going to be very missed, by especially one person. Rita is referring to Emily, but I have a feeling that Ramsay is thinking she means Norris. Rita suggests that Ramsay take a gander over at Victoria Court for a flat. Well, Ramsay finds the ladies in the pub later and tells them he’s found a flat there. He can almost see Emily’s house from the balcony. Ramsay feels like everything’s finally falling into place, like a giant jigsaw. Emily couldn’t be more delighted! They decide not to tell Norris about it, just yet.
At Emily’s, her and Ramsay are conversing about something when Norris walks in. They tell him that he missed a caffuffle on the street. Norris is clearly unhappy about that. Maybe he should call Blanche and see if she videotaped it. Norris wants all the gory details. Later, Emily tells Ramsay she’d like to put some flowers on her Ernest’s grave and asks him if he’ll accompany her. He says he’d love to. You know, if Ramsay really doesn’t like Emily, he’s really leading her on!
At Ernest’s grave, Ramsay thinks it’s a good time to tell Emily about how terrible his orphaning “abandonment-banishment” to Australia. He was told he was going on holiday, but was really just leaving to go to Australia forever. He tells her illegitimacy is a terrible thing, like a skeleton in the closet. Emily can’t believe how a mother could feel more shame for an illegitimate child, than she could feel love for it. Ramsay tells her she should have seen his mother’s face when he returned, and she might get her answer. That was the first time he’d met Norris, and Norris hadn’t even known of his existence. Ramsay says he hopes he’s won Emily over, she says “completely.” You had her at hello Ramsay, you had her at hello. Ramsay said that when he arrived in Australia, he was worked like a slave until he was adopted, then that was better. Emily thinks they can’t let Norris continue to punish him. Emily tells Ramsay that she misses Ernest to this very day.
Ramsay and Emily return home for tea and cake with Norris. Emily suggests that if their game goes on late, that Ramsay can always crash on their sofa. Norris doesn’t see a problem with that, since it’s soon to be farewell.
Claire is upset that she’s got nothing for the grand prize at the raffle for her fete. Graeme tells her he’s got a collection of videos he could stick together if she likes, but they’re VHS. Claire doesn’t think they’d be suitable. Claire wants Ashley to donate his collector’s boxers gloves. Ashley informs her that Roy Cropper is donating the tickets for that trip to Paris that Eddie Windass won posing as him back when, to the raffle. Claire is elated. Ashley’s racking up the points. Too bad he’ll never have enough points for the secret he’s keeping from her. Speaking of which, Graeme read Ashley’s text from Claire saying that she’s “waiting for him,” “waiting for him.” Ashley exclaims that that’s not good! Graeme can’t for the life of him understand why not. Ashley lets it slip to Graeme that he hasn’t had the snip. He tells him he buckled it, and is avoiding all situations. Graeme notes that that’ll kill the mood as he chops a pork loin in half.
Claire’s waiting at home, all decked out in full lingerie that looks like it jumped right out of Rosie Webster’s day-wear closet. She’s trying to glue back on the heel of shoe when Ashley walks in and sees her. Uh oh! It seems Ashley brought Graeme back with him. As Claire struggles to cover up, she asks what he’s doing there. Ashley says Graeme is working on the garden, and claims he didn’t get her text. Claire runs upstairs embarrassed. Poor Claire! She reverts back to bad-mood-Claire and tells him he can give up his boxing gloves an’ all! Ashley tells Graeme he wishes he was single and childless again. Graeme says it sucks, he never gets any women. Ashley says at least he gets peace and quiet. Can’t argue with that!
Gail and Audrey are taking photos of David’s shirtless, battered body. David thinks his beating was personal. Gail tells Audrey that Joe is at a B&B because Gail trusted David’s word over his. Gail says it crossed her mind that Joe had been the one who beat her David, but now she’s certain it had nothing to do. Audrey gives her a cheap shot about men she dates harming her kids.
Joe arrives at Gail’s and sees the state of David’s face. David accuses him of bashing his face in. Gail tells Joe she can’t trust him, so she can’t believe him when he says he didn’t beat David. Joe looks her in the eyes, and swears on his Tina’s life that he didn’t beat up David. Gail says “okay.” David has had enough, and storms out of the house into the street. Tina sees David’s face and asks what happened. David claims it was her father. David asks her who else she thinks would do this. Tina looks wary, and asks him what time it happened. David puts two and two together and now he thinks Jason did it.
Eileen’s at the hairdresser’s and tells Audrey of her disappointment in Jesse for declining her invitation to move in with her. Eileen tries to fool herself that she only asked Jesse to move in, to help him out. Audrey tells her that she wants things to move on, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Eileen’s having a dose of the “poor me’s.” Eileen later finds Jesse in the pub, and tells Eileen that his mum’s chucked him out. Jesse admits that he panicked when Eileen asked him to move in, because he feels he should have been more manly and been the one who asked HER to move in with HIM. Jesse feels he has nothing to offer. This all sounds a little Johnny-Come-Lately for me. Jesse tells her he wants to be with her. Eileen tells him to get his bags, and he says they’re in the van. Oh really!
Tina goes to No.12 and calls Jason an stupid idiot and accuses him of beating David. Jason claims it wasn’t him, but is glad that someone gave David a beating. Tina tells him she doesn’t believe him. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d have thought David did this to himself for all the trouble it’s causing. Jason is insulted that Tina thinks he’s the sort of bloke who jumps people, then lies about it, hits people from behind, so they can’t hit back. Jason asks her why she’s with him, and if she loves him, she should start acting like it. Jason tells her he’s sick of being in relationships that go nowhere, and thought she’d be the one.
David goes over to the salon and asks Audrey for a lift down to the police station. He’s going to tell the police that Jason Grimshaw went to get him.
Gail and Joe have a talk, and Gail says that they’re at a crossroads, but she doesn’t want to finish with him. She wants him around because she loves him. Gail tells him that if they’re going to be together, they need to be building something. Gail’s looking for a real commitment, or nothing. Gail tells Joe that he’s not “him” anymore. He seems like his old self to him. Joe looks SO confused! Joe wonders why it has to be so difficult. Joe tells Gail she’s the one decent thing to happen to him in years, and he can’t lose her. Gail suggest they pick up a couple of steaks and a bottle of wine to celebrate.
Later, Jason complains to his mum about how Tina thinking he’s a guy who jumps people. Eileen convinces him that Tina thinks the world of him. Just then, the police knock on Eileen’s door looking for Jason Grimshaw to arrest him on suspicion of assault. Tina runs over claiming that Jason didn’t do anything, that he was with her all night. Cue Eileen and Gail cat-fighting across the street again defending their sons. Gail accuses Jason of attacking an innocent boy. Oh, he’s hardly neither! Eileen retorts that David hasn’t been innocent since the day he hacked himself out of Gail’s womb! David gets out of Audrey’s car just in time to see Jason being taken away in a police car with a satisfied smile on his face. Clearly, whoever beat him, didn’t beat him nearly hard enough. Tina tells him that one day he’s going to cross the wrong person, and when that happens it’ll be more than a black eye and a broken heart. Everyone’s arguing, and Eileen swats at David, and David shoves her shoulder, then Gail pushes her back and calls her a vicious cow, then Eileen slaps her arm and accuses her daughter of being a slut. Wow! That was one row!
Jesse moves in and brings his “best friend” with him. His best friend John, his parrot. Uh oh, John doesn’t like Eileen. Well, I guess they’ll have to find someone else to be best-man at their wedding. LOL. Eileen can’t stand the parrot’s squawking and tells it to “shaddup, shaddup, shaddup!” Jesse wipes his brow wondering what he got himself (and John) into. Eileen wonders if they should have gone down to the station, but Tina reckons they’ll just ask him a few questions then realize he’s innocent, then let him go. Eileen accuses Jesse of sloping off when she needed back-up the most out there in the street. Jesse tells Eileen that John doesn’t like her. Eileen says her son’s just been arrested and that she doesn’t care whether his parrot likes her or not. Jesse thinks it’s a very bad sign. Jesse tells Eileen that John’s due for his daily “fly-around.” Eileen tells Tina to open the window. Jesse spits back “don’t you DARE.” lol. John is really cute though! Jesse claims that John can always spot the bad ones. People he doesn’t like end up being bad people, getting caught for bad crimes. Eileen must feel great right about now. Jason finally arrives back home, and says they’ve let him go. But he doesn’t want to hold his breath, because since when did that matter?
At home, Gail asks David if he did threaten Tina as she claimed. David says that he couldn’t have attacked himself, could he? Audrey guffaws that she wouldn’t put anything past him. Me neither! Me andAudrey are on the same page here. Joe arrives and comes back with bags from Freshcos. Joe tells Gail that he got a job at a hard-ware store. It’s part-time, but it’s still work. Audrey can’t let Joe get ahead though. Oh, meddling mothers!
Audrey goes down to the pub to complain about Joe to David. Audrey says sometimes she’s never sure whether she should clip him ’round the ear or cuddle him. He tells her neither, please. David sees Jason and Tina enter the pub, and asks how they’ve let him go. Jason tells him that there’s a thing called evidence, and they need it. David tells them to go back to their derelict little flat. Tina tells him that the flat might be derelict, but it’s theirs, and they’ve christened every room, so he can put that in his pipe and smoke it. Oh he will, and it will be the slow burning kind… Audrey tells him that this is why he gets beat, because he pushes it and doesn’t know when to leave things. David’s afraid that Jason will jump him again. Audrey assures him that he won’t, since he didn’t do it, and neither did Joe. Audrey tells him he’s got enough enemies to pick from, lord knows who beat him.
Eileen refers to John as Gail Platt in the corner, just chipping in and disapproving. Although, if it was Gail, she’d smother it. LOL. What a whiny bird that would be!
Hel-lo! My favorite ginger man is back on the street! David spies Gary Windass at the kebab shop and asks what he’s doing there. Gary Windass tells David he’ll never get it back. David asks get “what” back? Gary answers, “Summer ’09.” David tells him he didn’t miss much. Gary says he met some good mates in prison, and he’s sure he’ll stay in touch with them. Suddenly David’s face changes and he accuses Gary of beating him. Gary asks when his battering happened. David tells him last night. Gary said he only got out that morning, so it couldn’t have been him, then winks at him. How sly! It was totally of the Windass doing!