Written by Chris Fewtrell, directed by Durno Johnston.
Roy stops by No.13 to inform Claire that the holiday to Paris he was going to donate has expired. It’s strange to see Roy in No.13. It’s like one of those, “Which one of these doesn’t belong?” puzzles. Claire is clearly upset, since people bought tickets on the basis of that prize. Wow, that’s a doozie of a problem now. Roy tells her that he has something of equivalent value to donate: an LNER whistle and cap. Gee, doesn’t exactly have the same wow-factor as a trip to Paris, does it? Heck, it doesn’t have the same wow-factor as a mop and bucket! At least you can USE a mop and bucket. Claire looks dismayed.
Claire is still upset about not having a grand prize, and has been calling around places all day to find a suitable replacement to no avail. Ashley tells her that he’s donating his cherished boxing-glove collectibles. Claire couldn’t be happier, but tells him she couldn’t. Ashley tells her she’s more important. Claire tells him that they broke the mold when they made him. She tells him if there was a raffle for husbands, he’d be top prize. Oh boy, when’s he finally going to tell the truth?
Eileen is having her tea quietly at home alone unawares that John the Parrot is staring down at her from the curtain rod. Eileen’s watching TV when she notices that John is next to her changing the channels and spills her tea all over herself! Eileen is petrified of the bird! Eileen goes down to the builder’s yard and asks Jesse if he let his parrot out. Jesse said that John needed an hours recreation each day. Jesse thinks it’s encouraging that John’s being playful with her. Eileen puts her foot down and tells him that when she’s at home, she wants that bird locked up. She tells Jesse that she thinks he’s taking advantage of her, and if he’s not, he should come home to do so!
David’s still seething over his beating. Gail asks David if he honestly believes that Jason beat him up. David shakes his head no. Well, not after last episodes revelation. Gail tells him he needs to tell the police that much.
Enter David and Gail into Roy’s Rolls where the Windasses are spotted having their breakfast. It’s like a wild-west showdown. Where’s Jesse when you need him? Gail and David promptly leave, and David tells Roy he’s just lost his appetite. Anna Windass tries to be a peacemaker, and Gail submits.
At No.12, it seems that Joe has found the precious bracelet lodged behind the skirting. They all realize it wasn’t David. Not that that changes their opinion of him in any way, I’m sure. Jason got a call from the police and they’ve told him he’s off the hook. He doesn’t know why and he doesn’t care why. Tina and Jason celebrate by snogging in the street. Of course, David witnesses this, as does Gary. Gary asks him if it breaks his heart. He then warns him not to rattle his cage in the future. Threats don’t work on David.
It’s the morning-after (not what you think!) and Emily is presenting Ramsay with his hot breakfast on a platter. She was going to bring a tray to his room even! Emily and Ramsay are doubly shocked that Norris lent Ramsay his new pajamas. They think it’s a great leap forward. Norris comes in and says he’d been up half the night. He remarks that he knew it was a mistake bringing the grocer to bed. Ramsay is shocked and asks “Dev??” No, not that grocer, the magazine. LOL. I can’t ever imagine Dev coming down those stairs and sitting down at the table for one of Emily’s fry-ups. Although, it looks just tasty enough! Screw Pam and her sandwiches, Emily could give Roy’s a run for their money!
Norris gets to work and tells Rita the same story about him up half the night with the grocer. Rita kids him and inquires if it was Dev he was up all night with. Norris confesses to Rita that he didn’t want to encourage Ramsay, but now that he’s moving on there’s no sense in being churlish. Norris, churlish? No way! Ramsay comes in and asks Norris if he could meet him in the cafe later. Norris agrees reluctantly. This should be good.
Norris meets Ramsay at the cafe. Ramsay guides a confused Norris over to Victoria Court. Ramsay gives Norris a tour of one of the flats in Victoria Court that looks identical to Dev’s, although without Nina Mandel’s interior design touches. Norris realizes that Ramsay isn’t going back to Australia and that he’s going to be living on his doorstep. Oh my, it seems that Ramsay even wants Norris to move in with him and take residency in the second bedroom! Ramsay claims he wants them to be a family at last. Norris looks how I did when I first saw Molly and Kevin kiss. Repulsed and confused. Norris tells Ramsay that he’ll no more make his bed in that room than jump off the balcony. Norris asks Ramsay if he’d really thought he’d move in there with him, in that soulless, brash and vulgar place.
Ramsay tells Norris that it wasn’t his fault that their mother had a heart attack and died. Norris claims it was, since she was broken, riddled with shame. Apparently, Ramsay is the product of Norris’ mother and a cinema organist who had taken advantage of her in 1934. Ramsay said he wasn’t asking her to be proud, he just wanted acknowledgment. Ramsay begs Norris not to turn his back on him as well as their mother had. Norris makes it clear to Ramsay stating that he does not have a brother, never had a brother, and never will. His family is dead. Long dead. Ouch! I can just see those words cut like a knife through Ramsay’s heart. Is it possible to die of a broken heart?
Norris saunters over to the Rovers where Emily and Rita are enjoying a drink and confronts her about stringing him up with Ramsay and the flat. Emily says she knows about it and finds it to be an excellent idea. Norris says of course she does, since there’s no point in having a “fancy-man” on the other side of the earth. Well! Norris accuses Emily of being a geriatric Holly-Go-Lightly. Ramsay walks into the pub that moment to overhear Norris’ inappropriate comments and tells him that’s enough. Norris tells him that he’s lucky to have those nice people around him, and to apologize. The street isn’t big enough for the both of them, and Norris has decided to make alternative living arrangements. How immature! Ramsay tells the ladies he’s so very sorry for all of this and that Norris will never come around.
Later, at No.2 Norris tells Emily that it might take him time to find other lodgings. Emily is quite cold to him (deservedly so), and tells him to do what he pleases. Norris tries to apologize for the comments he made to her earlier, when there’s a knock at the door and Emily asks him to answer it. It’s Ramsay, with his case packed. Ramsay tells Emily he’s leaving for Australia that night. Emily tearfully tells him that he can’t just to like that, where will he live? Ramsay tells her he’s used to fending for himself. Emily tells Norris that this is absurd and that a man Ramsay’s age can’t just go careering around the world just to save his feelings. Norris disputes that it’s Ramsay’s choice. Emily erupts and tells Norris that all of this is his doing. Ramsay interjects and says it’s best that he go, and go quickly. Ramsay asks for a family portrait before he goes. Emily takes a polaroid of an enthusiastic Ramsay and a dismayed Norris.
I really hate Norris at this point! I never really liked him, and now I really despise him! Poor Ramsay, poor Emily, poor anyone who has to cross paths in life with this terrible cold-hearted man! The “family portrait” above just sickens me!
Outside, Eddie throws Ramsay’s case into his cab and Rita and Emily bid him adieu. They tell him that he’ll be terribly missed. Ramsay asks them to look after Norris for him, then thanks them for their kindness. Emily tearfully bids him goodbye. Ramsay says not all is lost, for he has found kinship, only not where he expected. Emily gives Ramsay a pendant to help him on his journey. Ramsay says he’ll treasure it along with their friendship. Norris comes out of the house to shake his hand and bid him goodbye. And just like that, he gets into the cab and drives off the street and out of our lives, leaving a tearful Emily to be comforted by Rita. How tragic it must be to have been searching for belonging your entire life, then to be in the December of your life and to have that belonging thrust back in your face to end up wondering if you’ll ever feel it in your lifetime at all. That was one of the most saddest endings I’ve seen on this show in quite some time. Perhaps since the death of Mike Baldwin.