Written by Joe Turner, directed by John Anderson.
Simon and Peter wonder if Leanne is ever going to come ’round. Peter tells Simon that they’re “Barlow Men” and they “bounce back” and demonstrates this literally by jumping around the living room. Another cute father-son scene.
Leanne wakes up at Jan’s and Janice has a major hangover from a Christmas bottle of sweet sherry. Janice asks her how things are going with her life, and Leanne confides that she’s left “Marco” her boyfriend. Just wasn’t working out. She also tells Janice that Peter and Simon came by the restaurant. The penny drops for Janice and she realizes the true reason for Leanne’s impromptu visit. Janice’s hair looks great too lately. Did they get a new hairstylist on the set? If so, they haven’t gotten to Theresa yet.
Blanche comes into the bookies and tells Peter she has “the gift.” Blanche says she has second-sight and can see into the future. She was in bed last night, then had this irresistible urge to go to the window. She tells Peter that she saw Leanne Battersby climbing out of a taxi. Peter asks her if she’s serious. Blanche replies with “cross me heart, and Deirdre’s eyes.” Peter asks if she’s sure. Blanche reminds him that there’s no Alzheimer’s in her family.
Peter goes over to No.1 and sees Blanche soaking her feet in Deirdre’s washing-up bucket. He asks if Deirdre knows she’s doing that. She asks if this is the Spanish Inquisition. lol. Peter asks Blanche if she’ll watch Simon while he has dinner with Leanne. Blanche asks if Simon can pumice her scaly parts, since she can’t reach ’em anymore. Oh, enough! Peter says that Simon will, for 10 pounds an hour. Blanche tells him to go and fetch him, and they’ll negotiate. I really like the Blanche-Peter story lines. They’re like the odd couple. Or something.
Peter hightails it out of the bookies, and sees Leanne ’round the corner coming out of Jan’s place. Leanne fibs and tells Peter that she planned to visit Janice months ago, nothing to do with him. She’s playing this very cool, but we know she wants him back. They agree to meet at Rolls Roy’s for lunch.
Peter and Leanne have lunch at Roy’s, and Peter does his best grovelling. During the lunch they both pad each other with lies (Leanne – still has a boyfriend, Peter – was a monk.). This is going swell. They both obviously want each other very badly! Against their better judgment. Or at least Leanne’s. Leanne’s really working the SUL (stiff-upper-lip) throughout lunch with Peter. Leanne asks for some honesty. Oh, this should be good. Leanne gets up and walks away in a fit saying she needs trust and honesty. Peter breaks down and tells her that he wasn’t honest, and admits that he’s been with a couple of other women, but nothing serious. They agree to have dinner at Peter’s. Oh, we all know how this will end.
At dinner, Peter’s got a spread out. Leanne brought Simon some sweets. How sweet. Peter says that Simon isn’t the problem – he is. Peter describes how his life has been going, about the rabbit dying, plus about the place burning down, and his fight with alcoholism. Leanne falls in love with what a great single dad Peter is. Peter smiles at her approval of his fathering. Peter says he isn’t seeing anyone right now, but was seeing two other women. Leanne asks if it’s anyone she knows. Peter says no. Erm, Michelle? Peter tells Leanne that he loves the bones of her. Leanne says it’s enough talking – time for some snogging. Curtains, draw.
Eileen and Jesse come down from the bedroom in the morning, and Eileen tells Jesse that she’ll feed John while he goes out to get milk. Well, Eileen walks into the living room, opens the cage, then notices something. They’ve been robbed and the entire living room has been ransacked. When Eileen is surveying the damage, John crawls out of his cage. Uh oh. Eileen goes out back to try and find out where the burglar entered in from. She leaves the back door open, and John crawls out. Double uh oh. Poor John!
Eileen goes through the house and realizes that all her valuable possessions are gone. Then she looks up to the heavens and asks “why me?” Jesse comes in and tells Eileen that his van is gone also. Jesse suggest they call the police, then realizes that John is gone. Jesse assumes the thief stole his parrot too. Eileen has a sheepish look on her face, and lets him continue to think that. Oh, Eileen! Eileen calls the police to report the robbery. The three detectives realize that whoever got in, had a key because there were no signs of b&e.
The police arrive at Eileen’s, and Jesse questions her about missing birds. It appears that people don’t steal birds often. Poor John! Sean breaks down and admits that he brought a man home with him the night before (remember that shifty looking guy eying Jason at the club the night before, that offered to help him carry Jason out?). Sean woke up and noticed his wallet gone and then put two and two together when he saw that they’d been robbed. Poor Sean starts self-deprecating. He’s like a lost puppy, is he. Sean tries his best to give the copper a description of the assailant. By best, let’s just say that I don’t think he actually saw this guy in the light. Jesse asks Sean why the assailant took the bird. Sean says he doesn’t know and that he had no idea they guy was into that sort of thing, otherwise he wouldn’t have brought him home. LOL. Good one Mr. Turner! The copper says that there’s probably no chance of them ever getting their stuff back.
Poor Sean breaks down with guilt and starts crying. Eileen reassures him that he’s just as much of a victim as the rest of them. She assures him that they’ll get the stuff back, since that’s what they pay insurance for. Sean says they can’t get his dignity back. Jesse says they can’t get his parrot back either. He’s probably still in the backyard. Eileen should have checked at least!
Eileen hears from the insurance people, and lets on that the person who robbed them, they’d invited in the house, and now they won’t payout. This just gets worse!
Molly and Kevin plan another clandestine rendezvous reveling in the fact that they’re, and I quote, “the worst people in the world.” Sally is begging Kevin for a holiday for the two of them. Kevin tries to dissuade her from the idea by claiming that they don’t have the money for it. But we all know what the real reason is. You know, starts with an “M,” ends with an “olly.”
Molly and Tyrone are having a pint with Sally and Kevin in the Rovers, when Sally announces that Rosie is paying a vacation for the two of them. How nice of Rosie! From the look on Molly’s face, it looks as though there’s going to be a new voodoo doll in her collection fashioned in a very low-cut shirt and short skirt. Sally is happy that Rosie’s school funds weren’t wasted – or at least they’re happy they got a refund. Zing! Another good one! Gees Molly – if looks could kill! Drama Queen! When Sally leaves, Molly reams Kevin out. He comes into Dev’s shop later to cancel their torrid meeting that evening. Molly is angry, since the last time that he went on holiday with Sally, he disposed of her. Molly demands that Kevin choose between her and Sally. Kevin pulls the “Tyrone card” (oh yeah, him) out of his pocket and lays it on the table. That shut Molly up. For now.
Jack talks to Connie about what items he’ll be taking with him from the Old Rectory. Connie suggests that he moves stuff a bit at a time, but Jack doesn’t think this is a good idea. Jack decides that Molly and Tyrone can choose what they like, since Vera would prefer that their stuff is helping a young family. Jack decides to crack open a brew, since he always has one after making a big decision. So do I. And small decisions too. It’s really the small stuff that counts.
Jack gives Tyrone and Molly the news about his leaving, and giving them his stuff. Molly starts to tear up at the thought of Jack leaving. It’s so nice to see “nice” Molly once in a while. As opposed to devious-adulterous-pouting Molly.
Joe takes a jab at Bill and his “Bill the Builder” fluorescent orange dungarees. I have to say, they looked better on Jason! Joe comes and talks to Bill again, and asks him to send work his way. He’ll do “anything.” Bill asks, “anything?” And Joe says he won’t do topless. Oh, excuse me. Just threw up in my mouth a little.
In the Rovers, Audrey and Gail are having a drink, and Audrey is trying to pop Gail’s new found “zen.” Audrey claims that Joe could be shooting up in the ginnell right now. Joe walks in that moment, and tells Gail that Bill has lined him up with a kitchen to fix. I like “zen” and confident Gail. Even if she is borderline-delusional!
Joe comes home later, and tells the ladies that he had a job fixing a botched kitchen fitting job. His back is stiff, but otherwise okay. Looks like Joe’s on the up-and-up now. Joe pulls out a wad of cash from his pocket and tells Gail to “stick that in your kitty.” Wow, that was naughty!
Minnie comes by the shop and tells Amber to “spill her guts.” Molly listens in when Amber tells them about the fact that she kissed Mitch, and had a big falling-out with Darryl. Minnie says that Amber should dump Darryl and go south with Mitch, job done. Wait…wasn’t she the one giving Darryl advice to keep Amber not to long ago? Gees. Amber says she doesn’t know why she kissed Mitch, and she doesn’t know what she wants.
Amber heads over to the kebab shop to see Darryl, and Darryl tells her that he saw her kiss Mitch. Bus-ted! Amber is scrambling to save her hide with Darryl. She blames Darryl for making her angry, and that’s what caused her to kiss Mitch. Oh, puh-lease.
Amber tells Darryl that they’re good together and she doesn’t want it to end like this, between them. Amber asks Darryl to come to London with her. He says he can’t – his shift just started. Oh, poor Darryl. Ah, young love. Well, it’s over between Darryl and Amber. The end of Damber.
A cab pulls up the street in the middle of the night, and out pops Michelle and whats-his-name (her son). I almost forgot about Michelle! Do we really need her on the street? I’m glad her old hair is back. She’s now living in the kebab shop apartment. This is bad news for Peter “honest” Barlow. My word, that Michelle is irritating!