Written by Mark Wadlow, directed by Pip Short.
Looks like Tyrone got his games room. Big win. Kev and Molly nauseatingly flirt. Molly says she’d give anything for them to be a “normal couple” one day. No, then you’d probably cheat on him, with someone like Tyrone. Kevin comes up with a genius plan – he and Molly enter a run in Glasgow. That way it gives them two blissfully uninterrupted days together. How romantic.
Norris and Emily receive a letter written to the both of them. Norris opens the suspicious letter written by someone in prison…cut to Ken who seems to have received the exact letter. Hayley and Roy are also reading the same letter. Who’s responsible for this round robin? None other than John Stape. Yes, it seems he’s written a series of “I’m sorry” notes to the neighbours preparing himself for his arrival on the street from prison. Dev finishes reading his “sorry letter” and calls John a “pompous nutcase.” If that’s not the kettle calling the pot black I don’t know what is.
The Party Planning Committee (Blanche, Emily and Ken) are planning a joint party in the Rovers for somebodies.
Fiz calls Chesney and gets voicemail again. She leaves a message saying that she assumes he’s still at “Hotel Windass.” LOL. Fiz spends the day lying in on the couch and never opens her mail.
Roy and Hayley are getting excited over their new trip to Romania and have begun to learn some traveller’s phrases. This isn’t going to lead to another spin-off will it?
Claire’s got Ashley beggin’ for it and won’t give him any until he’s had his vasectomy. Literally, he was on his knees begging. Claire’s using abstinence as a percaution (and punishment). Why doesn’t he just go get it? Isn’t celibacy more painful? Actually, Ashley thinks that Umed’s “dinger” next door is more painful and rushes over with Claire to complain that he take it down – or else! Graeme intercepts Ashley’s dinger-rage and holds him in his arms soothingly. That was funny. Finally, Ashley gives in and says he’ll have the operation. Finally!
More “town hall” debate about the return of John Stape. Eddie thinks he should have his bits cut off, Dev thinks he doesn’t want to share his street with someone who accosts young girls, but Roy thinks that he should be able to take his place in thier community – the mark of a civilized society. Haha, good one! Where does Roy think he lives? Is he new here? This was an interesting little cafe symposium.
John’s letters haven’t by-passed the factory staff, as it’s the talk all morning long. Sally wonders what everyone’s talking about, since she never received a letter. She seems shocked that everyone has received a letter from him. What a nightmare for her! Sally wants to know where her and Rosie’s letters are – they’re the victems! What? Only for her to burn it at a stake? Janice and Sean have a good ‘ole time pushing Sally’s buttons over it all.
Sally goes and tells Kevin about the letters and Kevin realizes that there’s a letter that came to the shop addressed to the Webster Family. Sally’s not having any of it, and wants them to tear up John’s letter. Sally has decided to take manners into her own hands regarding John Stape and has decided to go ‘round with a petition and to setup a neighborhood meeting in the Rovers regarding his return. Kevin decides to bring up the 10k run in Glasgow now and tells Sally that he’d be leaving tonight. He makes it seem like it’s her fault for not listening to him that he never mentioned it sooner. Sally tells him she needs him by her side with stuff like this going on, and he remarks – or 3 steps behind you. He manages to guilt Sally into letting him go on the run. Oh boy, if I were her, when I found out about all this tomfoolery I’d never let him back!
Busted! As Kev and Molly are set to leave on their Glasgow 10k, Sophie comes into the room with her laptop and asks her dad if he’s a gay. He asks why she’d ask that, and she has found that there is a 10k in Glasgow tomorrow, only it’s called the “10k in Glasgay.” Kevin argues that you don’t have to be gay to run it. Sally jokes that she hopes he packed his nice tight running shorts. Oh, he’ll be wearing less than that.
Kevin tells Molly that they’re not going to Glasgow (or Glasgay) for that matter. They’re going to Chester in a posh hotel. They’re on the bus and Kevin realizes he didn’t pack his trainers, and if any of his family sees them, they’ll know he’s up to no good. Uh oh. Kevin gets off the bus and returns home to to find his trainers on the stairs and Sally tells him he’d forget his head if it wasn’t strapped on.
Kev and Molly are traipsing around Cheshire like a normal couple. It looks more like a father-daughter trip than a romantic rendez-vous, but whatever. Almost looks a bit untoward – the two of them. Wait a minute. Kev takes Molly to a beautiful, romantically posh suite. Molly admits to Kevin that she was naive and may have gotten married too young. She thought Tyrone was all she wanted – he’s a good man, but he’s not enough anymore. They did get married too soon. Kev reckons they were just meant to be together. Molly figures that none of their feelings matter, since she’s not going to leave Tyrone and he’s not going to leave Sally.
Chesney got a letter, and Fiz wanted to know what it said. Ches says that John was just wittering on abuot what it’d be like when he gets out and moves back onto the street. Sophie comes over and tells Chesney and Fiz about how her mother’s on a warpath because of all the John Stape letters. Fiz has no idea what she’s on about. Sophie lets her in on the fact that John wrote to everyone, even Eddie Windass. Sophie tells Fiz about the meeting in the pub hosted by Sally trying to stop Stape. Fiz is mad at John for writing all these letters – since it’s completely backfired. Fiz reckons that someone should be at the meeting to stick up for John.
It’s after Simon’s recorder recital and everyone was thrilled with his performance. Only, Peter’s not so happy with Leanne, since she ditched it for work. Blanche reminds him that at least she didn’t show up drunk. Remember last Christmas recital? LOL. Leanne rushes in late and apologizes for being so. Later, Peter tells Leanne that she let him down, because she wasn’t there for him on his re-entry to the school after his last drunken episode. He wanted her there with him, only she wasn’t. Peter says she got him back since he’s the one needing taking care of, not just Simon. Well, that’s obvious. He’s a man, right? Leanne promises never to let him down again. There’s problem after problem at Leanne’s new job. When is she just going to give it up and work at the Rovers?
Graeme’s got his rickshaw in gear and now in addition to his gardening services is also offering window washing. Graeme offers his window-washing services to Dev’s shop, and even offers it for free. What is he up to? We soon realize that Graeme’s window-washing services are all a ruse to attempt to remove the dinger to give Ashley some peace. Thank god, Graeme! That thing was driving me bonkers! Graeme tells Dev he had a bit of a disaster, and he slipped and knocked the door bell off. The thing is “dead as a doorbell”, but Umed is trying to blow-dry it back to health. Dev is so happy, he even insists on paying Graeme. Win-win for Graeme.
It’s the Stop-Stape meeting at the Rovers, and Rosie couldn’t be more uninterested. Sally argues that the well-being of their children is something they should all care about, and they need to do something about it. Sally calls the letters a cheap trick, and goes on into her speech against him whilst Rosie acts as her Vanna White. Sally suggests that everyone write a letter back to Stape that night telling him that he’s not welcome and that she’s going to go home, burn the letter and send him the ashes. Wow, she really missed her calling as a party leader. Roy says that this is like a meeting of the Klu Klux Klan. Eer, hardly! I think Fiz should just say “It doesn’t matter what you want, since he’s moving in down the street in my house, end of.” Norris feels that he’s in an unusual position of having no sympathy for the criminal or the victem. Fiz tries her best to stand up for John, and it earns her a round of applause from the community, but it falls on deaf Webster ears.