Written by Damon Rochefort (7:30) and Julie Jones (8:30), directed by Stuart Davids.
Lloyd awakens to find the bedding neatly piled on the sofa and a note from Theresa telling him he’s a lifesaver, to which he nods in approval.
Theresa comes into the cabbie office later, and drops off a currie for Lloyd. A prototype possibly? Theresa tells Lloyd that she left his place early so that no one would see her because if people saw her leaving his place, they’d think she’d lowered her standards. Buahaha, that was funny. Liz comes in and frostily asks Lloyd for a cab into town.
Well, at Prima Donna (or Doner?) it seems that the addition of Theresa’s curry to the menu is a hit! Darryl insists that Dev’ll go mad if he finds out that they’re selling Theresa’s curry in his shop. Umed insists that Dev shouldn’t find out then. Not only are they selling her curry in Dev’s kebab shop, but Theresa’s also cooking it up in Darryl’s flat above Dev’s corner shop. Speak of the devil, in walks Dev and he tells Darryl and Umed that they’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do!
Dev isn’t happy about the fact that Theresa’s making the curries for his kebab shop. Darryl starts smirking, but Dev tells him that he’s got nothing to smirk about, and he’s a waste of space. Darryl tells him that Umed’s his uncle, not his, he should sort it out. Darryl finally has it and throws down his kebab apron and tells Dev he quit. Dev can put that in his pipe and smoke it.
Theresa finds Darryl walking down the street with his bags packed and asks him where he’s off to. Darryl replies “Spain.” Theresa’s upset that he wasn’t going to tell her. Darryl says he hates goodbyes, but gives his mum a hug before getting onto the bus. And that’s it, there he goes of the street and out of our lives for good.
Theresa pops over to Lloyd’s to get her curry container back and tells Lloyd about Darryl leaving for Spain. Theresa tells Lloyd that with her it’s “what you see is what you get, unlike Liz McDonald.” She calls Liz “overdone” and reckons that she buys all her clothes from “Tranny’s R Us.” I LOVE that store! Where else can you find 7 inch stilettos in a size 14?
Theresa’s not got her feet under the table, but she’s certainly got them on the table at Lloyd’s. Lloyd complains about his back, so Theresa insists that she give him a good rubbing. Lloyd admits that her massage was bliss, eventhough he hated to admit it. Theresa weasels her way into Lloyd’s for another night – and his bed at that.
Dev complains to Umed about his schemes, but Umed insists that he’s not called “the Indian Richard Branson” for nothing, and he’s only trying to help Dev get money in his pocket. Dev accuses Umed of being a total fantasist. Well, I guess that’s why he fits in so well on the street. Dev later apologizes to Umed for being harsh. Umed admits that he is a fantasist – reality’s not his friend. If I were Umed, it wouldn’t be mine either. Reality OR a full-length mirror. Umed confesses to Dev that he’s in English, because he’s in hiding. Umed admits that he got into some gambling trouble and ended up gambling away his business and home and has nothing left. Umed feels he’s already over-stayed his welcome. Umed says he wants his own home, and his own business again. He has to go back to Mumbai and sort everything out. Dev tells him that he’ll miss him, and Umed regards Dev as his favorite nephew. It’s kind of sad to see Umed go.
Poor Deirdre is still out of work and is now spending her time being subjected to the 1 O’clock Club meetings. Deirdre asks Liz to remind her why life’s still worth living because she keeps forgetting. Oh, haven’t we all been in a place where we’ve wondered the same? Liz suggests to Deirdre that they just play hookey all day: go into town have a boozy lunch, flirt with sexy Eastern European waiters and bob around shops and buy something totally inappropriate. That sounds like my Monday’s. Or Tuesday’s, or Wednesdays…you get the picture. Deirdre will take up an opportunity so as to miss a 1 O’clock Club meeting. She tells Liz she just needs to put some make-up on. Oh, that’ll help anything.
Thelma & Louise come back into the Rover’s after their lushy-lunch flanked with shopping bags after a little retail therapy. Liz spies Theresa and Lloyd, or the “gruesome twosome” having a good time playing some pub games.
It’s the anniverary of Liam’s death, and Tony is back at his old flat and miserable, finding company in a half-drank bottle of scotch. Maria tries to phone him, but he doesn’t answer her calls. Maria’s clearly not happy for having swapped Tony for the Connors. Mammy Connor couldn’t be more over-bearing. In fact, if you looked up “over-bearing” in the dictionary you’d find her picture. Luckily, Michelle stops by and suggests her and them take the dog for a walk so Maria can have some time alone to get ready.
Tony returns looking worse for wear. He tells Maria that he can’t sleep because everything he cares about is slipping through his fingers. Like the sands of time? Maria tells Tony she didn’t really want him to leave, it was the Connor’s getting to him, and she thought he’d be better off out of all the drama. Tony tells her that he thought he was dumped, but she tells him that is not the case – she loves him. She then tells him that nothing and nobody is going to come between them. Oh, don’t speak too soon Maria dear.
Mammy Connor isn’t happy with how the day has turned out – Maria and Tony not coming to the grave with them, and now Michelle having to work through dinner. Does anything satisfy this battleaxe?
Tony and Maria visit Luke’s grave with flowers and Maria says she’s so glad that they came there without Helen. Maria says she felt her life was over when she lost Liam – only it isn’t. She tells Tony she’s referring to him. This puts a smile on Tony’s murderous face. How does he sleep at night? Oh yeah, sidled up next to Maria. Maria tells Liam’s grave that it’s finally time for her to let go. Tony tells Maria that he’s never felt the way he does about anyone else, even Carla, the way he does about her. Maria says she feels the same. All the sudden, Tony asks her to marry him. He says all he wants is her and that wee boy. Erm, what about the fact that he’s married to Carla still, or that Maria hasn’t even taken off her old wedding rings!? Maria accepts his proposal and tells him that of course she will marry him. Wow, Tony has managed to bring a whole nother level to a whole new low. He proposes to the widow of the man he had murdered on the anniversary of his death. Wow.
They get back home to find that Mammy Connor has cooked a meal, and hasn’t set a place for Tony insisting that it’s a family dinner. Maria puts her foot down (finally) and insists that Tony stay. Barry tries anything he can to be able to get one in over at the pub and insists they go down there and raise a glass to Liam after dinner. Maria and Tony says that they’re going to have an early night.
At home, Tony pulls out the champy and two flutes, then takes off his wedding ring. Maria feels guilty about feeling good when everyone else is feeling so bad. Maria says they can’t let the Connors find out that they’re engaged – they’ll be so hurt. I agree, it is kind of fast, but Maria’s young – and this is soapland! Maria has a bright idea and tells Tony that he should adopt Liam. Tony agrees and says that Liam Gordon has a nice ring to it. Noooooooo!!! Their blissful fantasy has been interrupted by an early returning Helen and Barry who are shocked to see them still awake, and drinking champagne, since Maria said she wanted an early night. Maria finally tells Helen off, and defends Tony again. Maria says that they need to get on with their lives, but the Connor’s can’t see why they’re in such a rush. Maria drops the bomb and tells the Connor’s that her and Tony are engaged. Well, for once Helen is at a loss for words.
Trouble’s a brewing for Tony and Maria now that Leanne’s got Carla on the phone and tells her all about what Tony’s been up to with Maria while she’s been away. Leanne and Janice talk about the Tony-Maria-Carla triangle over a few drinks in the pub. Janice can’t see why the same person could be attracted to Carla AND to Maria. Leanne tells her that when she told Carla, Carla couldn’t believe it.
Rosie comes out of Luke’s bathroom freshly showered and in only a towel. Hook, line and sinker, Luke. Rosie tells Luke that last night was a surprise. No kidding! Gawd, he’s playing her like a cheap deck of cards. It’s almost hard to watch. Rosie has the gall to tell Luke that her mother always told her that “a girl should play hard to get.” I think Rosie completely misunderstood the meaning of that piece of advice.
Luke is on the phone with his lawyers, on the sly, and he’s still very frustrated with his financial situations. Rosie is completely fooled by this cad, and is all lovey-dovey with him because she thinks it’s back on. Later, we realize that Luke has also been on the phone with Carla regarding the factory.
Rosie puts her best private detective cap on and asks Luke what’s with all his private calls. Is someone getting suspicious? Luke makes up some story about some mad business deal that’s going to make him loads of money – only he has to go in on it full or not at all. This has piqued Rosie’s interest. Luke tells her that to buy into this deal, he needs to sell his shares at Underworld and wanted to know if she wanted first refusal. Luke informs her that she already owns 9% and with his 51%, she’ll be the majority shareholder, which means she’d be the boss. This piques Rosie’s interest even more.
Luke continues to blow smoke up Rosie’s behind more and more over how special she is, and how competent she is to run the factory. Luke tells her to transfer the money into his account, soon as and he’ll speak to his solicitor and have the papers drawn up tomorrow. Rosie hesitates calling the bank, and decides that 90 grand is a lot of money, and maybe she should mention it to her mum and dad first. Luke convinces her to wait until it’s signed-and-sealed so she can gather everyone at once, then make her big announcement – it’d be brilliant! Y’know, I want to feel sorry for Rosie, but the way she acts, it’s hard. This is exactly the kind of person you will run into when you act the way she does.
Luke has Rosie back at his place, but manages to get a chance to go onto his computer and book a flight to Rio. Rosie catches him on the computer and wants to know what he’s up to, since he’s got guilt written all over his face. Oh, she’s a clever one she is. Two bad she’s got two two’s and can’t put them together to equal four. Luke makes it out that he was planning a surprise for the two of them. Rosie says she loves surprises. Oh, then she’s in for a good one!