Final Word: Dec 3 & 4, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Mark Burt, directed by Alan Wareing.

Chesney tells John that he’s glad all the Rosie stuff is over with.  Is John finally making head-way with Ches?  Kevin drags Rosie over to the Stape’s to apologize.  Fiz doesn’t want to hear it, but John is enjoying every minute of it.  Rosie says there’s nothing she can say to justify what she did, so why even try.  Rosie says she’ll go to the police and take back everything she said.  Fiz feels like Rosie’s acting as though she’s doing them a favor or something.  That’s just what I think.  Sally apologizes for vandalizing their house, because it was petty and cruel.  Wow, there’s some serious self-awareness.  John says, no promises, but he’ll talk to the police about Rosie’s misdeamor.  Kevin figures they’ll just stay out of each other’s way.

Rosie comes back from the police station after getting a slap on the wrist.  She gets a berating from Janice however that says its stupid cows like her that make it hard for women who really get abused and raped to get any justice.  Bring that point home Janice!

Fiz tells John later that they’ve had some major breakthroughs: Ches, the Websters.  John figures he’s being begrudgingly tolerated, not much of a breakthrough.  Oh please, most people in the world are begrudgingly tolerated.  Fiz figures that folk are starting to see the real him: a strong, kind, honest man.  John is still upset that Fiz doubted him.  She says she knew in her heart he was innocent, but after what happened with Tony, it got into her head.

Norris tells Becky that he thinks Rosie should be locked up, and the key thrown away for her fabrication issues.  Molly overhears them and asks what happened with Rosie last night.  Becky tells her what went down.  Freda (almost forgot about her) comes in and asks Norris about how to do competitions, but Norris says he’s retired and can’t help her.

Later, in the pub, Freda’s got Becky helping her answer some questions for a competition and they’re doing a terrible job at it.  Norris overhears, and breaks down and gives them an answer.

Becky asks Steve if Dev was upset about him calling off their bet.  Steve lies that he supposes he was.  Becky figures that Steve doesn’t need a golf membership since he’s got her.  Steve throws on his best guilty smile.

Becky goes into the cab office looking for Steve, but Eileen tells her he’s booked himself off this afternoon, but says he didn’t say where he was going.  She also added that his golf attire and clubs gave it away at bit though.  Becky says he’s dead, and asks for Eileen to get her a cab.

The golf game is on, and Bernie is there to observe.  There’s so much pomp and circumstance going on I can hardly watch.  Steve gets ready for a drive, when Becky shows up and starts coughing.  Becky tells him to lose the game and embarrass himself.  Becky distracts him at every turn, causing him drive his ball into the canopy of nearby trees.  I’m so bored with this golf sub-plot.

The game must go on, and Steve’s still bagging it.  Dev wins the game, and does a little victory dance.  Okay, big overdone victory dance.

Ken won’t let Deirdre in on what his job is.  Ken says he’s going to the library to write an article for the gazette.  Deirdre asks what it’s regarding, and he gives her a hint, that they want him to capture the Christmas season.  Deirdre thinks this is a lark.

Later, Deirdre goes into the bookies to ask Peter to help her out in the attic since Ken’s not around.  Peter thinks he’s getting some kind of procedure done. It’s clear that Ken has fibbed to both of them.  Peter thinks there’s a good explanation for it, but Deirdre looks worried again.  I wonder if she thinks Ken has been taking some canal visits again.

George has Leanne, Peter and Simon over to tea, but Peter thinks he’s rushing things a bit much.  Sure seems like it to me.  Leanne insists they go, and when they arrive at a gated home, they look rather stunned to discover as much.  Simon asks if Granddad is a millionaire.  Peter thinks there must be some sort of mistake.  It’s pretty much a mansion, or a palace as Simon would say.  Looks more like a mini-mansion to me, but whatever.

Inside, the place is gorgeous, and Leanne says as much.  Eva lets them know that George designed it on a six month sabbatical.  Wow, that’s not what I did on my sabbatical, but we won’t get into that.  Eva inquires on their plans for Christmas, and Peter tells them they’re not doing anything over the top, so Eva invites them by there if they’re at a loose end.  Eva even offers to have them stay over, since there’s ample space.  Simon’s very excited about the idea, but Peter tells him maybe next year, the offer’s a bit too soon.  Later, George and Eva sit down with Peter and Leanne and tell them that they’d like to invest in their bar idea.  Peter says thanks, but no thanks they’ll find the money themselves.  George asks him to at least sleep on it, but Peter says that ‘no’ is his final answer.  Leanne is shocked and doesn’t know what to say.

Later, Leanne chews into Peter about why he didn’t take the loan.  Peter says he’s being a responsible father, and Leanne is only thinking of herself.  Leanne says she deserves more than ‘this’ and so does Simon and leaves.

Ken comes home to an unhappy Deirdre.  Deirdre confronts him about his whereabouts, and demands an explanation.  Ken tells her it’s complicated, and then dons a Santa hat to Deirdre’s shocked confusion.  Deirdre is still shocked that Ken Barlow is Father Christmas and finds it hard to believe.  He tells her that he foolishly promised Simon an expensive gift, and that job is all he could secure.  Ken begs for her to keep it secret.

Eddie brings his ladder to Eileen’s, and Eileen is stood outside asking him how it looks.  Eddie says it’s touch-and-go, but Dr. Eddie can save it.  Eileen asks him if he can’t do the back also, and she’ll give him 15 for the lot.  Eddie agrees as Eileen “thumbs up” Jesse and Jason hiding in a van nearby.  Eileen comes out of the house to tell Jesse and Jason that Eddie is up the back.  Jesse and Jason get the ladder out of the van to prop it against Eddie’s place.  What could they be doing?

Later, Eddie’s done his job on Eileen’s gutter, and Jesse, Eileen and Jason tell him that they’re onto his scam.  Eddie looks over at his roof, and notices his Santa is gone from the top.

December 4, 2009

Written by Chris Fewtrell, directed by Alan Wareing

Simon gloats about how grandiose George’s house is, and then tells Ken that his dad had a row with George and then Leanne.  Simon tells Ken how Granddad George offered Peter money to buy a shop or something, but Peter didn’t take it.  Plus, Simon complains that they can’t go to George’s for Christmas anymore either.  Ken seems delighted at this news.

Ken mentioned Simon’s words to Peter regarding George.  Ken says he’s so relieved that Peter can see George for who he is – someone with money who thinks that’s what opens doors.  Peter says that it’s not like that, he likes George just not enough to go into business with him.  Ken thought it was presumptuous of George to even invite them over for Christmas, but Peter figures he only wanted to see his grandson.  Peter doesn’t look happy with Ken’s badmouthing of George.  Peter tells Ken that George was giving him a genuine offer and wasn’t looking to score cheap popularity points.

George comes into the bookies, and apologizes for being too forward in their lives.  Peter also apologizes, saying he’s just not used to someone who’s trying to help him.

Later, Leanne comes back and Peter tells her to keep her coat on, they’re going out and there’s more on the menu than a buttie.  Leanne and Peter meet with George, and Peter surprises Leanne by taking George up on his offer to invest in the bar.  Leanne is elated and jumps into Peter’s arms telling him he won’t regret it.  Ken comes by and has to stir the pot.  He tells Peter that he thought for once he was excising good judgement, but clearly was wrong.  Peter doesn’t like how Ken is talking to George, so Ken asks if he should bow and scrape just because George has money.  Ken blames George for pushing Peter with money for that club.  Peter tells Ken to go home.

Peter knows that Ken is willing to dress up as Santa Clause just to get a good present for Simon.  Peter tells Ken to swallow his pride and let George help him.  Ken believes that if George really wanted to help him, that he wouldn’t do this.  George is only trying to buy his way to Simon.  Peter believes that George has faith in him, far more than Ken ever had.  Ken tells Peter that he’s going to fight this project and he will NOT open that bar.  Wowzers, that’s conviction.

Ashley catches Claire talking to herself enunciating each word into a hand mirror and asks her what on earth she’s doing.  Claire says she’s getting ready for her classsss.  Claire says she was preparing for her drama class by warming up her facial expressions.  I’m sure he thinks she’s gone nutters again.

Steve comes into Dev’s and Dev tells him where he can find the sour grapes.  Steve tells him that the hardest part about winning is doing so with a little grace.  Dev goes into a rendition of “save all your kisses for me” as he brags on and on about his golf membership perks to Steve.  Steve tells Dev that yesterday was a fluke and lightening shall not strike twice.  Steve thinks that they should re-match this afternoon.

Looks like Claire and Becky had the bestest of times in the acting classes.  He notices some battle wounds on their faces.  Since, they were playing the wife, and the mistress they got a little bit into it in class.  Steve tries to disappear, but Becky catches him going golfing.  Steve argues that golfing is his hobby and everyone needs one.  Becky and Claire inform him that their amateur dramatics has been closed due to lack of members.

Dev and Steve show up at the golf course, and Bernie is there with another customer, Matthew, and seemed surprised to see Dev.  Dev gives Matthew a tip to always keep his eye on the ball, because Bernie is spoken for.  Apparently, so is Matt, he’s just gotten engaged.  Dev nauseatingly air kisses her goodbye.

Claire and Becky start pondering over who’d they cast as characters in a Cinderella panto and they figure that Hayley could be Fairy Godmother.  Claire jokes that she could see Lloyd and Steve as the ugly sisters.  Claire and Becky start to argue over who would be Prince Charming – Steve or Ashley.  My vote’s for Graeme!  Anyone else?  They then argue who would be Cinderella.   Ashley has to come in to seperate them, and carry Claire off.

Sophie’s searching around for her baptism forms.  Kevin forgot about her baptism, and Sophie says she feels like background noise in that house.  Poor little neglecterino.  Sophie’s not happy with Kevin for being cast aside.  I wonder if he even feels guilty for preferring the company of one young woman over another.

Kevin goes to see Molly to tell her basically that he’s getting cold feet about them coming out with their relationship.  He says it’ll happen, but it’ll just take a lot longer than he thought.  Molly goes and sees Kevin later in tears upset about him having put everything off for them.  Kevin tells her that when he does this, he wants it to have the least effect on his kids possible.  Well, that’s not really possible.  Kevin says he can’t run the risk of ruining Sophie’s life.  Kevin says he’ll leave Sally as soon as Sophie’s finished her exams which are July next year.  Kevin tells a sobbing Molly that he’s sorry.  Maybe he should have thought of that before he started this affair.

Eddie complains that Father Christmas is his property, and Eileen suggests he could call the police.  Eddie argues that Father Christmas is for the community.  Jesse argues that he’s ripped off the community.  Eileen tells him that until he gives everyone their money back, they’re keeping Father Christmas.  Eddie agrees to give folk their money back after Jesse threatens to send a piece of Father Christmas at a time through the post.

Gary’s getting ready for training week in the army.

On the House: Nov 1 & 2, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

Tuesday December 1, 2009

Written by John Kerr, directed by Alan Wareing

Que to Rosie yelling and screaming in the streets, and no one’s listening.  John comes out and tells her to stop it now.  Rosie tells him to get his checque book out.  John tells her that if she think she’s getting any more from him, she’s even more pathetic than she looks.  That warranted five across the eyes from Rosie.  Bill runs over and asks Rosie what’s going on.  Rosie faux-sobs and tells Bill that John tried to grab her. Bill, of course believes She-Who-Cried-Wolf, tells John to stay away and takes Rosie home.  Wow, I can’t believe that little twat went through with it.

It would appear that Sophie is going to get baptised soon.  Sally tells Rosie this news when she walks in with Bill, only Rosie has news to usurp anything holy.  Bill tells Sally that John Stape just tried to attack Rosie.

Roy finds John still at the cafe in the dark.  He tells Roy he’s trying to work out why his life keeps falling apart.  He tells about Rosie’s little scheme.  Roy suggests that John go explain what happened to Fiz.  He asks Roy what if Fiz doesn’t believe him.  Roy tells him that he does.  Well, that’s all that matters then.

Yuck, more Molvin action.  I’m so sick of seeing these pigs in a blanket.  Kevin pretends to fall asleep as Molly talks about her childhood.  Wow, they’re like a married couple already.  They do say that practice makes perfect.  Sally calls, so Kev picks it up

At the Vicars and Liz party, Julie tells everyone that the party was bad news and how she knew it’d hurt Liz’s feelings.  Kelly says she still doesn’t get the joke – she doesn’t think Liz dresses like a tart.  Haha.  Graeme thinks that wearing a skirt is dead liberating, something to do with air-flow.  Liz comes back out with a stiff-upper-lip and tells Theresa she can stay since Liz can take a joke.  Deirdre wonders what Liz is up to, but Liz says she can’t spoil the surprise.  Oh goodness, that’s what Julie’s thinking as she’s in the ladies look and sees Graeme come out of the stall boasting about how spacious and paperful the washrooms are.  He then asks to borrow her lippy.  Oh my, he is such a completely deranged character I absolutely love him!

John goes into the Rovers, to find Fiz and tells her he needs to talk to her in private.  Fiz yells at John outside the Rovers that she told him not to trust Rosie.  John tells Fiz that Rosie’s lying and she wants to go over there and sort it, but John talks her out of it.   Later, Fiz and John try to eat something, and there are tensions.  Fiz figures that maybe Rosie will do the right thing for once, unbelievingly.

Back at the Websters, Sally tells Rosie that as soon as Kevin arrives, they’re going to ring the police.  Rosie looks shocked and worried.  Is guilt catching up to her finally?  Kev finds out and gets mad, and figures he should be been there.  Only, you weren’t, were you?  He asks Rosie what happened, and Rosie said she was alone with John in the cafe.  Sophie reminds her that she shouldn’t have been alone with him since she knows he’s crazy.  Rosie says that one minute he was talking to Rosie, the next he locked the door and started grabbing for her, but she ran for the door, got out and went into the streets.  Bill picks up Rosie’s story that that’s where he found her.  Sally decides to ring the police now.  Rosie says she doesn’t want to go through this again, but Kev says she’ll have to.  The police arrive and knock on John’s door, it’s time.  Fiz moans for the police not to take him away.  Fiz tells John she’ll come to the station as soon as she can – promise.

Sneaky, sneaky Liz uses a key to get into Lloyd’s flat.  Whatever is she going to do?  Liz returns to the pub, and Lloyd tells Theresa to play nice.  Liz gives Lloyd his flat keys back and tells him he might want to see what’s cooking in his oven.  Liz also tells Theresa that she’s still barred and she can leave now.  Lloyd runs over to his place to find that Liz had roasted his vinyls.  He’s clearly disappointed by this, and didn’t feel better when Theresa suggested he could use one as a ashtray.  Lloyd then sees a note Liz has left and sees that she’s kidnapped the rest.  Lloyd forces Theresa to go apologize to Liz or Liz tells him he can kiss his precious record collection goodbye.  Liz starts chucking them out of the window from the Rovers.  Lloyd asks Liz to come downstairs so they can sort it out.  Lloyd tells Theresa that she must say sorry.  Theresa wants to know if he wants his records back, or Liz.  Lloyd tells Theresa that he’ll do anything, even go down on his knees if she wants.  She tells him to go on then, and he gets down, holds his arms up and says “so what do you say?”  Immediately everyone from the pub walks out, and sees this, and Theresa exclaims “of course I’ll marry you!”  Haha.  Liz is shocked, but exclaims that she doesn’t care and walks off.  Lloyd tells Theresa he can’t believe she did that.

Becky and Claire take off for their night out.  Coming back, Becky is dragging a bladdered Claire along.  Becky tells Claire she can’t just go mouthing off to people, but Claire claims someone was in the wrong.  Claire figures the bouncer was feeling her up, when she was really searching her, what they do to everybody.  Claire wants to get another drink but Becky figures she’s had enough.  Claire tells her that she’s got two small children, and one small husband and if Becky thinks that Claire’s wasting a night out she can forget about it.  She goes to look for her watch and realizes it’s missing, but Becky reminds her that she wasn’t wearing one.  Becky tells her they’ll go for another drink and Claire tells Becky she loves her, goes to hug her, but falls flat on the sidewalk on her back in a gaggle of drunken giggles.  Becky tries to help Claire up, but Claire pulls her down ontop of her, and they both start laughing like a pair of inebriated schoolgirls.

Dev and Bernie come into the pub and Steve says he’s off the ale.  Dev figures he’s getting in shape for their golf match.  Dev manages to over hear Bernie talking to Steve about him taking golf lessons on the sly.  Bus-ted.  Dev asks Bernie what her and Steve were talking about.  Bernie breaks down and tells Dev that she’s been giving Steve lessons.

Eddie shows up at Emily’s to collect money for some work he’s been doing for her.  Norris, unsurprisingly, does not look happy about this.  Eddie tells Norris that if he wants abuse, he can get it at home.

Later, Norris sees Eddie and apologizes for being judgemental earlier.  Eddie says that his missus (he believe is Emily) warned him of it earlier, so no harm done.  Norris confronts Emily about warning Eddie against him, and Emily says she felt it was her Christian duty to do so.  Norris scoffs that that’s the last chicken kiev she’ll be getting off him.  Emily praises the Lord behind Norris’s back, but he lets her know that he heard.

Deirdre notices Ken sulking about the job centre, and reminds him that they don’t really need the money.  Ken says he wants to make a bit of an effort for Simon.  Blanche rings to tell Deirdre to get her a taxi since she won’t go in the One O’Clock Club van, since she’s convinced that the driver’s on drugs.

Wednesday December 2, 2009

Written by Martin Allen, directed by Alan Wareing

Sally thinks that Rosie getting molested by John Stape was the best thing that could have happened, because now they can get him behind bars again, where he belongs.  So long as Rosie isn’t traumatized.  Yeah, who cares.  Kevin reminds these two that there were no witnesses, so who knows what will happen. Kevin figures it could go to court, and asks if Rosie’s ready to go through with that.  Rosie, once again, has that guilty look on her face, but agrees that if that’s what it takes to send him down again, then sure.

John is already in the police station being questioned.  I wonder if the chair was still warm from Tony.  The detective tells John that he wonders why Rosie would make this up just to get money, since she wasn’t going to get that by charging him with assault.  John tells them that she’s vindictive and thick.  John sticks to his guns and tells them everything that she told him was lies.  The detective then tells him that his wife hasn’t rung in to ask how he was last night or this morning, and wonders why that is.  John says he had no idea.

John gets let go and arrives back on the street with no one there to greet him.  John isn’t happy that Fiz hadn’t call to see how he was at all.  John assumes she didn’t ring because she thinks he’s guilty – like everyone else around there.  Fiz asks if he’s had any lunch, avoiding the situation.  Fiz says she believes him, but John says he’s not sure.  John says they’ll fight this by going for a drink in the Rovers tonight for a start.

Rosie and mum are in the Rovers, and Norris asks how she is.  Norris offers to get her a drink, and Sally assures her that everyone is behind her.  John walks into the Rovers like it’s nobody’s business only for Sally to sherk “I don’t believe this.”  John ignores them and orders their drinks.  Roy and Hayley stand by their sides, but the rest of the Rovers is divided.  Steve suggest they finish their drinks and go home, but John says he’s done nothing wrong.  John confronts Rosie and tells her to tell them the truth.  Rosie tells him not to talk to her.  John says that he refused to give her money, so she falsly accused him.  Rosie starts to tear and tells her mom she doesn’t want to deal with this.  John tells Rosie to explain how he locked her in the cafe.  John asks her to describe what kind of lock it was, but she says she doesn’t know how to describe it.  Rosie looks to her father for support, but Kevin looks speculative.  Everyone’s waiting for Rosie’s answer.  Rosie says it was a lock with a key, and that John dropped the key.  John tells her that you don’t use a key to lock the cafe from the inside, it’s only a latch that anyone can lock.  Roy confirms this data.  John claims then the door was never locked, and he never laid a finger on her.  Rosie said that he would have though, eventually.  Sally is shocked that Rosie had made all this up, her and everyone else.  Fiz lunges for Rosie calling her an evil little cow.  Steve tells John that his pints are on the house.

Claire walks by with some hangover juice, and Michelle asks why she bothers keeping up with Becky if she can’t do it.  Claire reckons she’ll be straight with Becky about it.  Becky comes by saying how great last night was, and that they should do it again.  Claire suggests that they try the amateur dramatics she talked about instead, to which Becky hesitantly agrees to.  Becky asks where Steve is, and Michelle tells her that he’s out to meet some woman named Bernie.  Becky’s confused, but Michelle says she took the call and Bernie was definintely a woman.

Becky confronts Steve about being out with Bernie, the golfing tart.  Steve tells Becky he didn’t want her to know how much it costs.  Steve says that golf membership fees cost upwards of two grand.  Lloyd comments “and then some.”  Becky’s accuses Steve of not even buying her a flaming jacuzzi, then her and Lloyd shake their heads no in unison.

Steve tells Dev that even if he wins the match, he won’t use the membership that much.  He says that he’s too busy to use it, so that Dev should have it.  Dev figures that Steve is pulling out to save face.  Steve gets riled up now, and keeps their game on.

Theresa comes into the bar again, I guess completely ignoring the fact that she’s barred.  Theresa promises no more stunts, and pulls a book of engagement rings out of her purse.  Michelle looks at them in mild shock.  Michelle asks her if she’s serious, with a laugh.  Lloyd notices the book and reminds Theresa that they’re not engaged.  Lloyd notices that the rings cost five grand, and Theresa says she can’t stand a man who’s tight and it’s off.  It’s clear that Theresa was playing a joke on Lloyd.

It looks like Ken has gotten himself as job.  Doing what, I wonder?  Peter asks Ken if he can take Simon to school the next morning, but Ken says he has an optometrist’s appointment.  Or a shift at his new job.

George and wife are over at Peter’s after their visit.  Bill calls and Peter says that the Turner’s Joinery project won’t be happening.  George overhears this and asks what won’t be happening.  Peter tells them that he and Leanne were going to open a bar.  George even thinks that that would be risky because of his alcoholism.  Peter says it won’t happen anyway, since they don’t have the money.

At dinner, George invites Simon over to their place, but Peter is skeptical, and says “one day.”  Simon tells George and Eve about the fire that nearly killed him caused by his father’s drinking, and George and Eva look surprised.  George says that his son nearly died from his alcoholism, and now he wants to open a bar?  Peter tells them that there is no way he’d ever let himself go back to living like that.  Peter reminds George that they’re both doing the best they can.

When they leave, Leanne asks Peter how he’s doing.  Peter says his ears are ringing from all the skeletons in the closet.  Peter says he’s glad that she was there and on his side, and one day he’ll get her her bar.

Norris asks at the Kabin if there’s any world on the Weatherfield Ripper (John).  Ken believes that’s a bit harsh.  Norris believes that a Leopard never loses his spots.  Norris says that Eddie Windass might be turning over a new leaf, and is surprised at it.  He says that Eddie did a good job at clearing out their gutters.  Chesney walks in and overhears this.  Could Eddie Windass be putting grass in people’s gutters?  He’s clearly moving a grass chunk from house to house down the row.

Sure enough, Eileen answers her door to Eddie Windass telling her she’s got grass in her gutter.  Eileen is wise to Eddie’s disguise however.  Eileen tells him she’ll think about it.  Jason comes in, and Eileen asks him if he’s got a ladder, and if he can do her a favour.  Uh oh!  Don’t mess with Eileen!  Jason’s up the ladder to the gutter and finds a grass sod, which was obviously put there.  Eileen figured out his grand scheme.  Eileen tells Jason to leave the sod where it is – she’s got a plan.

Vicars & Liz: Mon Nov 30, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

Written by Julie Jones, directed by Alan Wareing

Rosie complains about her mother’s cheap-o coffee.  Kevin tells Rosie, again, to sell her car.  Rosie says she LURVES her car and Sally backs her up that it is fabulous.  The two of them are like peas in a pod.  Can she even drive it yet???  Kevin tells Rosie that she’s 18 and she should be paying her way.  Kevin looks like he can’t stomach his family anymore.

Cut to Molly looking bored, and Tyrone comes in to tell her that she didn’t say they were out of cornflakes and he had to eat a scabby piece of toast for breakfast instead.  Tyrone wonders why Molly’s being so nice to him, and figures she might be borderline feminist.

Kevin and Molly agree to meet later, to further talk about outing their affair.  Kevin and Molly meet at their usual seedy motel room.  Kevin tells her not to feel bad about Tyrone, since once they’re out in the open, that’ll all be over with.  Molly’s skeptical, but Kevin keeps insisting that he means it.

Ken sees Simon and Peter in the street and asks Simon what he wants for Christmas.  It’s clear, from Granddad George’s overindulgence that Simon now has expensive tastes.  Ken is feeling a bit shameful for not being able to keep up methinks.

Eddie Windass points out to Deirdre that he saw a clog in her gutter from across the way when he was putting up his Christmas lights.  He offers 10 pounds to take it down with his ladder.  Deirdre decides to just leave it, but figures she’ll never get Ken up there, so ends up taking Eddie up on his offer.

Ken is looking through the classifieds for a job.  Probably to pay for whatever luxurious gift that Simon as requested.  Ken ponders a call centre, and Deirdre says she thought you had to live in India to work in a call centre.  Zing!  Deirdre figures they’ll be fine for money at Christmas, unless her mother requests a new hip or something.

Roy’s back on the job and Becky offers some sage wisdom by telling him that if he puts on a smile, his face will send his brain a message that he’s happy.  Wait, isn’t that the other way around?  Roy gives Becky his most forced smile ever, just to humour her.

Rosie comes into the cafe to stir John up a bit more.  She places her order and he smiles like a schoolboy as he tells her it’s coming up.  Oh no.  As Roy leaves the cafe to do some errands, John is left to run the place.  Rosie tells him she found a course that she wants to do.  She tells John that she wants to be a doctor.  John thinks that’s great, but tells her that going into medicine is a vocation, a calling, you really have to care for people and have empathy.  Rosie tells him that the trouble with medical school is that it take ages.  John reminds her that she’s young and she has all the time in the world.  Rosie tells him that it’s going to cost a lot, and she’s totally skint.  John tells her that most people work their way through university, but Rosie says she can’t make fifty grand.  John tells mer maybe she’ll need a student loan.  Rosie gets a all sour-faced and tells him that she thought he was going to help her, since according to her, she owes him – big time.  John looks very worried all the sudden.

Rosie goes back into the cafe, and John tells her he doesn’t owe her and to go away.  Rosie says that they need a word in private.  The last customer leaves, and Rosie tells John that she knows his gran’s house was worth more than what he gave her.  John tells her she got everything he had, his mum and dad got the rest.  John accuses her of wasting ever y single penny of that 150 thousand pounds.  Rosie tells him that she better get him that money, or she’ll walk out of that door screaming blue murder.  She says she’ll tell her parents that John assaulted her.  Rosie wants fifty grand in her bank account by the end of the week.  John picks up her bag and shoves her out and tells her that this ends here, then calls her a little bitch.  YOW!  Go John!  John tells her she doesn’t speak to him, doesn’t look at him and if she dates mention money ever again he’ll go to the police and tell them she tried to blackmail him.  Rosie leaves the cafe almost looking sad.  Then an evil smile crosses over her face, as she opens the door and yells “Help, help me, somebody please!” into the streets.

Claire comes in and tells Becky that she was a bit tipsy the night before.  Becky asks her if she was out on the town, but Claire says that she was at home drinking alone.  Becky figures that Claire should come out drinking with her sometime.  Claire says that’d be great.  Becky chokes a bit on her coffee when she realized that Claire meant her comment to be genuine, but agrees nonetheless.  Her and Claire will be out on the town that night.

Becky is in the pub, and overhears Steve talking to “Bernie” on the phone.  She asks if that’s Bernie, Dev’s bird.  Steve lies and says it was Bernie, his financial guy.

Theresa comes by the cabbies with more cakes for Lloyd.  Lloyd accuses her of being a feeder, since she’s brought him about seven cakes in three days.  Theresa says she’s trying to make it up to him.  Lloyd asks how a cake is going to make up for them falling out with Liz and getting barred from the Rovers.  Theresa figures they’ll show Liz by having a party at theirs tonight.  Lloyd reminds her that it’s his place, not theirs.  Lloyd also reminds her that it’s Monday night and everyone has to work tomorrow, besides Theresa.

Theresa sees the factory girls coming out of Underworld and announces her and Lloyd’s party.  Theresa says the magic words: free food and free booze.  Theresa also lets them know that it’s fancy-dress.  Theresa announces that the party is a Vicars and Liz party.  Theresa “corrects herself” and says she meant Vicars and Tarts, obviously.  Sally comments that it’s all a bit 1980’s.  Haha, I was thinking the same thing actually.  Janice agrees that it’d be a right laugh.  Why aren’t Janice and Theresa better friends?  Haha.

Graeme, who will be attending the Vicars and Liz party, is in the Rovers and asks Liz where she got her necklace.  We’re talking about her signature zig-zag piece here.  She tells him that it was a present.  Graeme says it’s fetching.  Liz asks him if he’s taking the mick, and Graeme replies that it’s a sad world when you can’t even pay someone a compliment.  Liz later notices that Graeme keeps staring at her, and that he must be proper weird.

At the table in the Rovers, the factory girls are talking about their costumes for the party that evening.  Sean tells Graeme to get himself a low-cut shirt, and he’ll run him up a skirt.  Graeme says to make it short, since he’s got great legs that could advertise tights.  Haha.  Graeme asks for a big bra too, but Kelly just suggests he get some chicken fillets and put them down his shirt instead.  Graeme wonders if they won’t get all gross.  Sean corrects him that he won’t be using REAL chicken fillets, the plassy ones!  Graeme nods like he knows what on earth they’re talking about.

It’s vicars and tarts night, and everyone comes through dressed to impress.  I’m shocked that Sean came dressed as a vicar, and not a tart.  I also didn’t know that Becky got the invitation also.  Steve sees Becky all done up sexily and gives her a slap on the behind.  Becky tells him that she’s going out with Claire Peacock.

Haha, Theresa shows up dressed like Liz.  I think those are even pieces from Liz’s closet exact!  She better watch out, this might turn Lloyd on.  Julie warns her that this could really hurt Liz’s feelings.  Theresa tells her not to be daft: imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.  Liz sees Fiz in a blond wig and says she looks gorgeous, and asks Fiz if she’s ever thought of dying her own hair blond.  Hahaha.  Fiz just nods uncomfortably.

Meanwhile, Becky ensures that she gets a few shots down Claire’s gullet before they go out.  Claire chokes them back with glee.

Suddenly, Graeme walks in dressed as the best imitation of Liz ever, even having drawn on her necklace in eyeliner on his chest!  Graeme reckons that he and Liz were separated at birth.  Lloyd realizes what Theresa’s done, but Theresa tells him that Liz can take a joke.  Liz tells Theresa that she’s banned.  Theresa accuses Liz of having a sense of humour failure.  Liz tells Theresa, through tears, that she knows she put Graeme up to this, and she’s pathetic.  Liz starts to break out in tears.  Oh, poor Liz, really, this is enough.

Deirdre tries to calm Liz down in the back room by telling her that Theresa is just spiteful and jealous.  Liz figures she’s a woman of a certain age, but doesn’t want to go around in a twin-set and pearls.  Lloyd comes in and tells her he had no idea, he thought it was just a vicars and tarts party.  Liz picks up a mug and throws it at him.