Disturbia: Thu July 23, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

July 23 2009

Written by Debbie Oates, directed by Dominic LeClerc.

Open to Claire in hospital, again. Ashley brings every item that Claire owns to the hospital for her. A blow-dryer is really useful in hospital. One must always keep up with one’s personal appearance, even under duress. Honestly! It’s almost like he’s packed up all of her things and has taken them out of the house… Claire makes Ashley promise that he’ll have his vasectomy as soon as possible. He settles for them discussing their options as soon as they get out of there.

Later, Ashley gets a call from the hospital that Claire has disappeared off the ward. *groan* Oh, no, what now? This is going to be so sad. Good lord, Lloyd and Ashley drive up to the hospital only to find Claire standing on the roof of the building looking forlornly into the skies. Ashley runs up to the roof. Claire says the air must be thinner up there, since it’s harder to breathe. She’s looking, that’s all. Claire is a deeply disturbed woman. When are they going to lock her up and throw away the script? Ashley tries to coax her back inside. Claire reflects that there’s so many people in the city and they’re all getting on with their lives, and mostly, they’re dying. Ashley is just freaking out, but Claire insists she just needed some fresh air. She asks Ashley to just sit with her. Claire blames herself for miscarrying and thinks that the baby must have realized she didn’t want it, so it took off. Claire is more upset that she doesn’t “feel” anything, and she thinks she should. She feels shamed for not feeling bad about losing her baby. Claire says she gets terrible anxiety even thinking about another pregnancy. Claire’s afraid of being crazy again just like after Freddie. It doesn’t seem to me she ever stopped being crazy! Claire is still haunted by her post-natal depression. Okay, I get that. But, why do WE have to re-live it all? Old news. She is a real Debbie Downer! Uh oh, looks like the police have arrived to bring her down formally. Ashley makes an excuse for Claire telling the police that it was his fault, they needed some privacy to talk and it was the only place available. Ashley mans-up and tells Claire he’ll get the vasectomy. Claire gets her way, once again.

Joe argues on the phone to Len about work-related mishaps. Joe begs Graeme for more fancy-pills. Graeme turns him down, no chance whatsoever. Poor desperate Joe. Joe finds Graeme again and begs. He’s vigorously stroking Graeme’s arm when he begs. Ugh, this is really making me feel uncomfortable. It makes you wonder just how desperate he is… Creepy! Please, please, please, I’m desperated utters Joe to Graeme. Graeme caves to Joe, but makes no promises.

At Underworld, Rosie tells Luke all about these amazing designs she has in her head, only she can’t draw, so what ever will she do? Rosie decides to create a “mood board” to relay her design ideas. I wonder where she figured out how to do that? She presents her mood board and Luke tells her they’ll make a sample. Rosie is elated at this news, Tony is deflated. If looks could kill. Oh wait, the just might. Tony looks on Luke with shame, but Luke throws Maria in Tony’s face. Enough said.

Maria brings Baby-Liam over to the factory for a visit. Julie is in love with Baby-Liam and asks Sean if he’d like to hold him. Sean says he’s drawn a line at the “baby-thing.” Wow, is this alluding to his OWN baby that has since been forgotten? Maria moans to Tony about her over-bearing mother-in-law. Tony’s more than happy to be Maria’s emotional punching-bag.

Tony comes to Maria’s rescue again by sending off her in-laws to lunch for the day and has brought over take-out too. If only he weren’t a murderer. Tony and Maria are enjoying their lunch together like the best of friends.

Maria later breaks the news to her in-laws that Baby-Liam will be christened, but not as a Catholic since Maria isn’t Catholic. The in-laws aren’t happy about that, since Liam was Catholic. Barry tells Maria to go out and get some fresh air, she can leave the baby with them. I wouldn’t! I’d be afraid I’d come back and them and my baby would be gone! Helen is a little too “Hand that Rocks the Cradle” for me. When Maria’s gone, Helen remarks that their marriage wouldn’t have lasted had Liam been alive. Ouch!

Maria goes over to Underworld and tells Tony she needs a break, so Tony coaxes her into a drink at the Rovers.

Norris is vigorously slicing up his loafers with a screw-driver when Frida comes in! I’m sure this just makes Norris’ day! Oh, I see, he’s pretending his old shoes are damaged, thus giving him a reason to wear Ramsay’s trainers. How sly. Ramsay and Emily come in and, apparently Ramsay knows sign language! Well so do I because when I was in school I was in the sign-language choir. It’s not because I didn’t make it into the regular choir, it’s because I found that signing words from popular songs was simply a more cultured activity for an 8 year old. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Moving on, Frida shows Emily her engagement ring. I use the terms “engagement” and “ring” loosely. It’s a black plastic heart-shaped gem that looks like it came out of a cracker-jack box. Makes Fiz’s engagement ring look top-shelf. Frida says her fiance told her that the ring is temporary. Oh, that’s what they all say, then you find yourself buried in it. Frida asks Emily if Ramsay is her fella. Emily says he’s just Norris’ brother. Mmm, hmm.

Hrmm, so it seems that Frida hasn’t actually met her fiance. They’ve been online romancing, and apparently he’s saving up airfare to come next year. Uh, huh. OH! He’s in PRISON! That explains it all! Maybe Fiz should inform her that getting married in prison is a valid option she and her fiance could consider. I should pull this entire scene on my mother, if I didn’t love her so much. Oh, apparently Frida’s fiance is in prison because he’s been arrested for activism! He believes in freedom. Yeah, freedom of items from an electronics shop no doubt! Ramsay had gone to Freshco’s and bought their entire herbal tea selection for Frida. Norris comes in with a fib about his shoes being unrepairable, telling the gang that he therefore has no choice by the wear the trainers. Oh, this ruse is just too much!

The Heartbreak Kid: Mon July 6, 2009 Corrie Episode Review

July 6 2009

Written by Joe Turner, directed by Duncan Foster.

Tony is fixing up Maria’s place to the sounds of “Boy Does Nothing”, by Alesha Dixon on the radio. How ironic… Luke congratulates Tony on the birthing with a cigar and asks him how it felt. Tony said delivering the baby was magical, even a tug at the heart. Good thing he hasn’t got one. Maria is scared to take the baby home, but arrives home to see her place all done-up courtesy of Tony. Maria has visitors over later, but Tony shoos them away. He’s very protective. Or possessive and controlling. You decide.

Oh dear lord, Eddie’s in a tank-top in the cab office. *shudder* Is it someone’s specific job down at ITV to make him look as repulsive as possible? If there is, they’re doing a bang-up job. So Anna and Eddie are NOT married after all. Apparently, she’ll take his name and bear him a son, but she won’t go through with the rest. Anna tells Eddie he’s embarrassing her in the cab office. Oh please, when isn’t he embarrassing? Eddie threatens to get her down the aisle one day. With a shotgun?

Sally decides to throw herself a birthday party for a “select” group. She is eager to invite Ben’s mom and dad. Oh, they must be well-to-do then if Ms. Priss has decided she must impress them. And why is Sally planning her own birthday party? Kevin’s a crap husband lately.

It would seem that Pam now dispenses advices with every sandwich sold. She should call her business “Dear Sarnie.” She tells Tyrone the doghouse-dodger to cook Molly a meal to make up for being a disappointment the other night. Oh, bad advice. He should just take her out to dinner. When my man decides to be romantic and cook for me, it always ends in something inedible and me having to clean and entire kitchen from top to bottom from all the mess left. Real romantic. Women just love more cleaning. Connie and Jack are laughing at Tyrone tearing up whilst cutting onions. Onions get me every time! Sometimes I don’t even eat them, just out of spite. Oh, ugh. Molly and Kevin sweet-talk over fantasizing about each other in their heads. You know, when I was young, I used to wish I could read minds. What was I thinking??? The filth I’d have to endure! Poor Tyrone has burned his Moussaka. Tyrone’s efforts with Molly go up in smoke.

Meanwhile, Bill peruses the Lonely Hearts section of the paper and answers an ad. Elsewhere, Pam is seen checking her messages and it’s Bill’s message she hears. This plasters a smile on her face. Gee, didn’t see that one coming.

Rosie scoffs at the old-lady knickers that Underworld produces and suggests to her partners that they need to develop a line of knickers for the younger women. That way if they get the younger women buying, eventually in time, they will be older women and still be buying items from the brand. Knicker brand for life kind of idea. This is a solid strategy. It works for the cigarette companies! I’m quite impressed with Rosie’s ingenue on this one. She’s turning out to be not just a pretty face. Well, baby-steps, I know.

Sean is working hard at the gym these days. Urm, I mean hardly working. He’s hoping to soak his extra fat off in the Jacuzzi. Oh, Mr. Hot Stuff from the other day comes and joins him in the jacuzzi. A bit of small talk later and Sean is elated to find out that Mr. Hot Stuff is indeed gay and is newly single to boot! Then he goes and spoils it all by telling Hot Stuff that Jason and he are an item. Oh, how this will blow up in his face later. Oh Sean! Where’s your life coach when you need her?

Joe’s still poppin‘ pills. Graeme tells him that there’s a stronger pain killer than what he’s got out there. Joe is interested and later asks Graeme to get some of those pills for him. How pathetic. It amazes me how fast Joe McIntyre went from hero to zero.

Finally, David admits to Jason that he had Windass sent down just to get him out of the way so he could pursue Tina again. He says that Tina still loves him, she just hasn’t realized it yet. Jason looks sick to his gut. Jason tells Tina this, and Tina freaks out calling David deranged. She’s just realizing this now? Is she new here? Tina confronts David and rubs it in that she’s chosen Jason over him, and that she’ll never ever be with him again. David loses it and runs over to the builders yard looking for Jason. He is up top the roof and sees Jason down below coming out of the van, so he starts chucking things at Jason. All and sundry watch David throttle items at Jason who is bracing himself behind the van. What a menace! David and Jason are restrained from fighting each other while Tina tells David that she’s sorry, but she’ll never be his girlfriend again. David runs off looking devastated as Gail calls after him. This scene just further ignites tension between Gail and Eileen. I love how it took two men to hold Jason back, but it only took one ailing octogenarian to hold David back. Ha ha.

David finally returns home to a worried Gail and Ted. He looks really devastated, just about to burst with a lump in his throat that’s probably the size of his ego. Oh, I feel bad for him all the sudden. I’m such a sucker! He tries to put on a brave face for Gail, but as soon as she leaves the room, the floodgates open and David cries on his Granddad’s shoulder.

Shocking, Isn’t It? : Wed June 10, 2009 Episode Recap

June 10 2009

Quote of the episode:

Kelly: “Ooooh!  I’ve just been electrocuted!”

Sean: “Oh, so that’s why your hair’s like that.”

Chesney and Kirk are still anti-Fiz over the whole she-loves-JohnStape-thing.  Fiz is shocked to see she’s getting her letters she sent to John returned, with a note from him saying he doesn’t want to see her anymore.  Chesney is looking for a job to save money to be able to move out when he’s 16. Ah, teenage angst.

Claire tells Ashley that his butchers should sponsor new uniforms for Joshua‘s football team.  Ashley tells her to look elsewhere.  She does this, then comes back after everyone has turned her down.  Well, not everyone, she didn’t ask the Rovers!  That’s the only business that’s making any money these days.  Maybe little kids with liquor ads on their backs isn’t quite primary school material though.  Peter wouldn’t even be able to watch Simon play!!!  Ashley eventually concedes and sponsors.

Kelly electrocutes herself on her machine, as does Rosie when she tries to see what is the matter.  Luke comes over to see if Rosie is alright.  Rosie looks infatuated.  Uh oh, we know what this look means = trouble!  Tony’s being all misery and miserly and Luke insists that they spend money on health & safety matters.  Tony disagrees and challenges him to find the money for it.  I WONDER how he’ll do that?  Rosie and Luke flirt over making fun of TonyRosie asks Luke if he’d like to further make fun of Tony over a pint or two, but he politely declines choosing business over pleasure.  Although, he did look flattered and somewhat interested.  He is a man, afterall.  And John Stape can’t be the ONLY fool in Weatherfield, god knows.

Maria gets a shock when she thinks she’s in labour, and has Kirk drive her to the hospital.  However, Kirk forgets how to drive all the sudden and Sally saves the day, by driving them there.  Although, they find out it was all a false alarm, Maria was in false labour.

Gary tells Anna and Eddie the truth about the burglary when he finds out he wasn’t directly responsible for Ted‘s heart-attack and Ted has told as much to police.  Anna makes Gary go down the police station and tell them EVERYTHING.  Anna and Eddie warn Len to stay away from Gary and vice versa, saying he’s a bad example.  Len is shocked when Eddie and Anna ban him from their house and lives.  On his way to the police station, Gary threatens David in the street that he’s going to tell the police the truth.  Gary looks nervous at the police station.  (He’s so cute!!!)  David thinks he’s bluffing, but can’t be sure.  David has been stressing all day to be able to get back to his Gran’s house to put the family photos back before she arrives.  However, he’s shocked to hear from Joe that Audrey and Gail are arriving earlier.  Sure enough, the second David gets to Audrey‘s door, Gail and Audrey pile out of the cab.  He tries his best to distract them so he can put the photos back, but fails miserably.  Audrey quickly realizes all her photos are missing, then when looking for her insurance papers in a drawer, she finds them there!  I can’t imagine how confusing this must be for her!!! David looks VERY troubled, very troubled indeed.

What’s the smell?  That’s the sh*t hitting the fan, David Platt!

Good episode, albeit no words of wisdom from Blanche!

Crossing The Line: June 8, 2009 Episode Recap

Quote of the Episode:

Anna and Eddie in hospital after they realized that Gary didn’t beat on Ted, just collided with him in his escape:

Eddie Windass: “So there won’t be a murder charge then?”

Ted Page: “I sincerely hope not!”

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One hell of an episode.

So Poppy finally gets the sack, and from Becky of all people who kicks her out of the Rovers, almost LITERALLY, hair extensions and all.  Betty should be happy.  Goodbye Poppy MoralesSteveyboy needs to get a backbone!

Peter Barlow admits to his family: “I’m Peter Barlow, and I’m an alcoholic.”  Finally!

Speaking of addicts, Joe is at the doctor’s begging requesting for more pills.  But is nicely declined.  He has no clue he could have an addiction.  This will be a long slow road.  Greeeaaaat.

Ted his in hospital after the heart attack he suffered.  David goes and visits him, as do Anna and Eddie Windass to find out what really happened, straight from the horses mouth.  Gary Windass gets Len to give him an alibi, but Len finds that Gary lied about an old man, and says he’s on his own!  He warned him about PlattGary is not happy, and sees Tina getting cuddly with David again.  Gary gives David a roughing up and tells him that he’s a sicko for doing this to his granddad just to get his girl back and if he goes to prison, he’ll be out soon enough…and he’ll show him what crossing the line really means.

Wow.  I never thought much of Gary Windass (or Mikey North) before, but he was pretty hot in this scene.  Maybe I just love that someone finally gave David the neck-wringing he needs.

Bill flirts with Pam again.  He seems quite clear with his intent, although Pam seems rather oblivious but at the same time clearly enjoys Bill‘s company.  New couple alert?  BamPill?

Mikey North:  NEW CRUSH <3

Mikey North: NEW CRUSH ❤

Abort!: Recap Friday June 5, 2009

June 5 2009

David is still hiding Joe‘s pills, but Joe went and begged at the clinic, so he’s all good.

Poppy complains to Steve again about Betty‘s poor-workmanship.

Gary tells David that he wants to case the house before they rob the house first.  David concedes eventually and they go in disguises looking conspicuous.  Poor Audrey‘s house!

Blanche thinks that Peter is putting on a performance about his drinking problems.  Ken is giving Peter the benefit of the doubt.  Ken thinks Peter has serious psychological problems.

David lets Graeme in on his plot.  He’s not even going to be at his gran’s house, he’ll be at home eating JoeJoe will be his alibi.  David thinks that Gary will go in, the cops will come, and Gary’s done.  David tells Graeme that he needs to call the police. Graeme doesn’t really want to help in this scheme, but he agrees to anyway, as long as he gets a code name.

Steve has to settle a fight with Betty and Poppy after Betty threw an egg timer at Poppy.  Gees.

Sean is all done-up-to-the-nines for giving away the pub donation.  Becky thinks it should be her and Steve to give away the amount.  Steve tells Sean that Becky‘s doing it and needless to say, Sean‘s not happy.  Poor Sean!

Wow.  The sight of Eddie Windass sat outside his house in all his squalor with a beer can and a toothpick in his house.  I wonder exactly how much that brings down the neighbours property values.

Ken tries to convince Peter to go to an AA meeting.  Peter scorns group therapy.  Well, he tried.

David‘s nickname for Gary Windass is “Windbag.”  That made me chuckle.  Why are they attempting a break and enter during the day time?

Becky‘s all done up real well for the photoshoot.  Sean‘s throwing jabs at BeckySteve decides that Sean and Becky do the photo together.  They DO look nice together.  Like a strange brother and sister.

Oh no she didn’t! Poppy sacked Betty!

Peter actually takes in an AA session at the community center.  Someone starts telling their drinking-sob-story and Peter panics and leaves.

David calls Gary and tells him to abort the mission stating that he can’t do it that night, they can do it another night.  Knowing full well that Gary will take advantage of the situation himself.  Gary‘s inside, David tells Graeme to call the cops, then sees Ted walk up to the house.  Ted walks in while Gary is stuffing his bag.  They didn’t factor in Ted coming HOME???  Gary is bricking it!  Backfire!  David tells Graeme to call the cops, the sooner they get there the better.

Blanche goes off on a tangent to Ken about how Randolf Scott is a gay, and how disappointed she was because he were her “heart-throb.”  Peter comes in and tells them how he went to the meeting, then left.  Peter gets mad at his presumed lack of family support and storms off.

Back at the robbery, Gary‘s looking for a window-exit unsuccessfully.  He sees Ted Page at the bottom of the stairs.  It looks like he recognizes him.  Yep, he does.  S-C-R-E-W-E-D.

Steve “unsacks” Betty and Poppy is NOT happy.

Bill Webster is picking up some woman named Vanessa or “Ness” at some singles scene that doesn’t look like his scene.  Bill says his name is “Newton” aka “Newt.”

Graeme has taken his surveillance to higher ground in a tree across from Audrey‘s.  Where did he get the war paint?  Gary makes a run for it, pushing Ted out of the way and running down the stairs.  Ted sees Gary‘s face and yells “I know you!’ running him out of the house.

Peter freaks out at Simon yelling at him and shaking him.  He immediately feels sorry and apologizes.  So now he abuses alcohol AND small children.  Wow, what a resume.

Ted calls David and tells him what happened.

Bill is bored to death of this Vanessa woman’s self-indulgent conversation.  Bill excuses him to go to the washroom and sees Auntie Pam there all dressed up.  She looks great.  They both deny they’re there being desperate singles.  Bill tells her he’ll share her taxi with her.  Warm, warm…warmer…

Ted is outside Audrey‘s house with the paramedics.  David asks what he was doing there.  Ted says he was house-sitting.  Oh, I guess he’s not stopping there anymore as I thought he was.

Steve tells Poppy and Betty to just “pretend it all never happened.”  That doesn’t go off well with either.

Peter asks Ken if he’ll have Simon that night, because he has to go “somewhere.”  Rehab maybe?

Joe tells Anna and Eddie about Gary burglaring Audrey‘s house.  Anna doens’t believe it.  Ted assures her it’s true.  The police promptly arrive in front of No.6.

“Newt” tries to get away from his boring lady date.  Pam comes and tries to get Newt out of his predicament.  They’re lies are slapping up against the wall at this point.  Pam and Bill‘s suitors set them all up on a foursome for dinner at the Pine’s.  Awk-ward.

Peter returns to the AA meeting again.  They welcome him back with open arms.  Good for him! Peter expected a big weight to be lifted.  He says he’s never felt worse.  He’s only been there for all but a minute!

Gary returns home and sees the police car out front and walks the other way down the street.

Ted doesn’t look very good, he’s rubbing his arm and he’s starting to convulse.  Joe calls an ambulance.  It appears that Ted is having a heart-attack.

The general theme of this episode was aborting the mission.  David told Gary to abort the robbery mission.  After Gary realized it was a setup, he aborted.  Then, as he saw the cops in front of his house, he aborted again. Poppy wanted Betty to be aborted from the Rovers.  Peter aborted his first attempt at taking in an AA meeting.  Bill and Auntie Pam aborted their terrible singles encounters.  Ted‘s heart is aborting his body.  Last but not least, Blanche aborted all interest in biographies and Randolf Scott.

Baby I’m Addicted: Episode Recap June 3, 2009

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Gail and Audrey pack enough for a lifetime for one week in Milan.  Joe asks for his painkillers before Gail leaves.  Joe frantically searches for his pills.  It’s obvious to him that David is hiding them on him.

Jason comes into the store with Tyrone and Kevin following.  Jason talks about how in shape he is, and Tyrone reminds Kevin he’s no match.  Kevin calls Jason a poser!  I love Jason‘s shirt! I love pies too!

Auntie Pam comes by the builders yard to sell Bill one of her sandwiches (they do look appetizing in that basket), and they flirt a little.  Bill watches her go.  New love match brewing?

Julie continues to “life coach” Sean.  I like these two together.  They’re quite an odd-couple.

Poppy complains to Steve about Betty being late.  Steve defends BettyPoppy‘s got a bit of a ‘tude on her I never noticed before.

Molly‘s getting her hair “did” by Natasha.  They talk about all the popular hairstyles.  I’ve had the Rachel AND the Pob numerous times from stylists without my approval!  David steals the keys while they’re engrossed in stylist-chair gossip.  I wish I had a stylist as cool as Natasha.  I actually just wish I had a stylist.

*Tiniest violin in world* plays for Joe in agony over his back yearning for his pills.

Jason jokes with Tyrone that Molly is out of his league.  Kevin assures Tyrone that Jason‘s just winding him up.

David heads over to his gran’s to take down all the family photos, clearing the home of evidence that his grandmother lives there for when Gary stops by to burglar.  Presumably.  He jokes with the painting of the late Alf Roberts.  The painting looks at him painfully.

Joe almost runs Luke over in a pill-starving-rage.  Pathetic.

Peter tries to talk to Luke about what happened between them fighting over MichelleLuke calls him pathetic.  True that.

Julie is going to see a psychic.  What a looney!

Theresa is getting her hair done.  YES.  Go figure.  Audrey‘s salon must be quite reasonable!  David replaces the keys in the register.

Blanche (!!!) catches Peter about to order a drink in the Rovers.  Buddy, if you’re going to go off the wagon, don’t do it in the pub next door to your dad’s place.  Not only is he a drunk, he’s a moron too.  Peter pours his heart out about Michelle to Blanche and tells her he owes her a bottle of sherry since he “smashed” hers.  Blanche tells him to have a cup of tea with her and his dad.  Oh, a sweet heart beats under that brittle exterior.

Joe tears the house apart looking for his pills, smashing Gail‘s things and ripping doors off cupboards!  He is SO painful to watch.  Maybe he should admit himself to a hospital.  Permanently.

Peter comes over to no.1 and tells his father he wants to drink.  He admits he was going to drink in the pub if Blanche hadn’t shown up.

Joe attacks David over the pills accusing him of hiding them.  David realizes the state of the place and is shocked.  David tells Joe he can’t help him, walks away and smiles.

I don’t approve of anything David does, but Joe needs to get off the show those pills!  Maybe withdrawal will be the best in the end for him!

Glad to see that Blanche is back!

The Week Ahead: Mon Jun 8 – Fri Jun 12

What to expect:

Monday June 8, 2009

David Platt:  Sad about Ted in hospital, happy about Gary going down for it.  Lose-win situation.

Steve McDonald: Asks Betty to come back to the Rovers.  Poppy not happy, neither is Steve or Becky or anyone else.  Trouble.

Peter Barlow: Admits he’s got a drink problem.

Anna and Eddie Windass: Worried about Gary. Anna tries to talk to Ted. Good luck!

Joe McIntyre: Still alive. Still has “backpain”, still addicted to pills.

Wednesday June 10, 2009

David Platt: Found himself in more trouble as he tries to hide his tracks in the burglary, as Audrey is coming back early.

Maria Connor: Starts having contractions, Sally saves the day!

Fiz Brown: Upset when John Stape rejects her from prison again.  Pathetic.

Friday June 12, 2009

David Platt: In knee deep when Gary tells Audrey the truth about the burglary.  David strikes again, pleads his innocence, but eff’s up in the end.  His signature style.

Maria Connor: Giving birth to her baby, Tony says he’ll be there all the way…ugh.

Fiz Brown: Finds a shoulder to cry on in Hayley Cropper.  Pathetic.  Fiz sends John a package, Sally finds out, they fight.

Molly Dobbs: Arranges to go on a run with Kevin Webster. Is that ALL they’re doing?  Duh, duh, duuuuh.