WWBS Archives

(last update: August 6, 2009)

All of Blanches Quotes that I’ve collected/added.

Death

Deirdre, about Blanche, “She likes going to random funerals.”
Blanche: So, you havin’ a go at me hobbies now aren’t ya?”
I’ve been to more funerals this year than you’ve had hot dinners.”
To Ray Langton as he lay dead,
“I never liked you Ray.”

Deirdre

On Deidre calling herself stupid,
“It’s taken you 50-odd years to realize that. Hallelujah!”
On Deidre losing her job,
Blanche: Who wants to employ a 53 year old?”,
Deirdre: “54.”
Blanche: “This gets better.”
On Deirdre’s sunglasses,
“There’s a fine line between Jackie O and Roy Orbison.”
About Mike suffering from Alzheimers,
“I bet Deirdre’s glad she picked Ken now.”
On Deirdre’s Christmas bird,
“This turkey’s so dry, it could choke a camel!”
“Good looks are a curse, Deirdre. You and Kenneth should count yourselves lucky.”

General Jabs at Folk

To a man pouring his heart out at an AA Meeting,
“I’ve never heard such self-indulgent whinging in my entire life! Is there some correlation between how boring you are and how much you drink?”
To Peter,
“You’re a disgrace! I shall say it if they don’t!”
When Peter calls the AA Meeting a human drip-tray,
“And you didn’t feel at home?”
About Liz behind the bar dressed scant,
“Well, that’s mutton dressed as lamb, if I’ve ever seen it!”
On Gail Platt,
“She loves drama that Gail, never ‘appy unless she’s got someone else’s hands around her throat!”
On the Croppers getting custody of Amy,
“What? He’s a looney, she’s a man. What judge in his right mind would give a baby to them couple of freaks.”
On Peter Barlow and Leanne Battersby kissing,
“An ex-prostitute and an alcoholic, Jerry Springer would be doing cartwheels.”
On Tracy Barlow,
“She’s a cow, but she’s our cow.”
On Liz McDonald,
“Skirt no bigger than a belt, too much eyeliner and roots as dark as her soul.”
Liz is all dressed up and tells Blanche she’s going for a job interview,
“What? As a hooker?”
On Frankie Baldwin,
“She’s got more fronts than Woolworths!”
To Shelley Unwin,
I always knew you were big-boned, didn’t know you were big-mouthed as well.”
To Fred on his wedding day,
“Still, you’re getting on now. If you’re miserable, you won’t have that long to endure it.”

Ho-mo-sexuals

“Don’t patronize me. I’m not naive. I had Liberace pegged from the off!”
“Did you know Randolf Scott were a gay?”
On Ken going to the theatre with Ted Page,
“Going to the theater with a ho-mo-sexual. He’ll be using moisturizer next.”
On her thoughts that Kenneth might be gay,
“I don’t mind the gays, I just don’t want my daughter married to one.”

In My Day

Emily Bishop wishes she were 3 again,
Blanche: “Oh yes – rickets, TB, rationing, those were the days!”
“You know where you stand with a banana. Unlike these super-fruits. We never had blue-berries as kids. And we were fit as fleas!”

Kenneth

“Deidre has to reapply for her job and Ken couldn’t give a monkey’s.”
On Ken booting up his laptop to find a solution for Peter’s drinking,
*glares at laptop* “Your answer to everything.”
To Ken,
“You want to be grateful you’re getting second glances at your age. You haven’t exactly kept yourself trim!”
On Ken,
“Talking to himself? He won’t be able to find his way back from the toilet soon.”
On Ken,
He’s no the fizziest drink in the fridge, is he?”
When Ken found an intact copy of his manuscript 50 years later in the loft,
“So, not even the moths have shown interest in it.”
On Ken furtively writing his novel in the living room,
“It smells like an anchovy’s jock strap in here!
To Ken,
“At our age, you could drop dead any minute. You have to suck every bit of enjoyment out of the time you have left.”
“Kenneth, you had better learn to start taking pleasure from other people’s misery or you are going to have a long and unhappy old age!

Musings

“Randolf Scott, he were me heart-throb.”
On the Rolling Stones,
“Still riding around at their age?! It’s obscene!”
On her room at No.1,
“It’s like a sea-facing room in a boarding house. Windswept! That’s what it is! And it’s damp. And it occasionally rains in there.”
“Stairlift? You’ll not get me on one of those!”
On Mary living in an RV,
“Well, it’s one way of avoiding council tax I suppose.”
On Mary,
“You walked past at the wrong time of the morning, and you could see a silhouette of her giving herself a stand-up wash.”
On Guy Fawkes night,
“I’m going for a bath with Glenn Miller. I’ll pretend it’s the blitz again…best days of my life…”
Blanche to herself in the mirror whilst getting ready for bingo,
“Blanche, you’ve still got it!
“Ooh, if I don’t get a drink in me soon my kidneys will shrivel up like out of date walnuts.”
After Tracy was sentenced by the judge for murder,
“Never trust a man in a wig!

Old Age

“Pardon me for breathing, no pun intended.”
“See you in the morning. If I’m spared.”

Words of Wisdom

On Alcoholism,
“Saying it is one thing. Doin’ something about it is another.”
“Biographies, they shatter all your illusions.”
“Misery’s infectious, you know.”
“I’m very open-minded. I think everyone should be treated equal, no matter what filth they get up to in their spare time.”
“Pizza’s are just cheese and tomato sandwiches poshed up!”
“Get to my age, you make a lot of promises.”
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